This is a pretty strange thing to say, considering that I explicitly call it a dress multiple times in the OP.Ratties said:
Coming out of the closet
- Thread starter Queen Michael
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Damn you, you look smashing in that dress. I love cheongsam-style dresses and tops but can't wear them; my boobs have always been too big and I'm too chubby now too. SAD FACE.Queen Michael said:Hi. My name is Queen Michael, and I'm a crossdresser. I recently came out of the closet to my dad, and I also started wearing a dress at work. So far, nobody's had any complaints. It's a good thing I live in Sweden.
So coming out of the closet hasn't been a problem for me. How was it for you, if you've come out of the closet?[http://s1295.photobucket.com/user/HerrNeon/media/Facebook/Timeline%20Photos/1048294_488497771228086_1756416818_o.jpg.html]
Tummen upp!
Have no need to come out of any closet myself. But if I could come strutting out looking like that, I'd pretend I did every day. (Yes, I'm super-duper jealous over that dress. TRÅNAR.)
I do recognize you from various forums, and the bold thing is weird and makes it hard to read your things...
First off, you look very pretty in your dress, though I personally wonder if it's practical to move around in?
I personally am bisexual and enjoy occasionally cross dressing. My family does not know. Only one of my friends know, and to be fair I think he thinks I'm gay. I told him I had a crush on him, but not that I am of both persuasions...oh well. I hope I never have to explain to my mom that I both like to get stiffed, and like doing the stiffing, not because she's homophobic but because it would be awkward.
Though I guess I should post a small cross dressing story as I have one. For the last day of high school I did the works, a nice top, a pencil skirt, heels (and I wore those heels all day, up and down stairs too), and I had a friend do my make-up. It was awesome. Of course I had the, 'are you really doing this?' reaction from people but overall they were cool with it as those in my high school who were those kinds of douches ended up dropping out before the end of the year. Well, I had the simple jokes, and a teacher pretend to not notice me as a joke, though when I talked to him he said it was a joke. Though one of my teachers, gave me a death glare, major death glare, not even kidding on that. It was very much so, oh, you're a homophobe/bigot. It was weird cause I kinda liked him?
First off, you look very pretty in your dress, though I personally wonder if it's practical to move around in?
I personally am bisexual and enjoy occasionally cross dressing. My family does not know. Only one of my friends know, and to be fair I think he thinks I'm gay. I told him I had a crush on him, but not that I am of both persuasions...oh well. I hope I never have to explain to my mom that I both like to get stiffed, and like doing the stiffing, not because she's homophobic but because it would be awkward.
Though I guess I should post a small cross dressing story as I have one. For the last day of high school I did the works, a nice top, a pencil skirt, heels (and I wore those heels all day, up and down stairs too), and I had a friend do my make-up. It was awesome. Of course I had the, 'are you really doing this?' reaction from people but overall they were cool with it as those in my high school who were those kinds of douches ended up dropping out before the end of the year. Well, I had the simple jokes, and a teacher pretend to not notice me as a joke, though when I talked to him he said it was a joke. Though one of my teachers, gave me a death glare, major death glare, not even kidding on that. It was very much so, oh, you're a homophobe/bigot. It was weird cause I kinda liked him?
Always people that are looking for any chance to correct you on whatever. Reason I said it was because it might have some sort of fancy name. Kind of feel that once you tell somebody a negative opinion, they are more likely to lace into you about whatever. Have to say that I have never met you before. Eventually I just said it to cover my bases. Really can't think of a good example, sorry about that.Queen Michael said:
The most annoying thing about coming out (besides the myriads of phobias) is people not believing you and telling you that you are only doing it for the attention or to feel "unique" and "special" in some way. Or they require "proof" that you are what you are saying you are. It really rustles my jimmies. The best part is when your family are the people doing it.
Well I am gay. I have not told my parents and I don't exactly know when I should next. I am still not conformable with it; but if was to continue running from it I would live a miserable life.
If I did come out I am sure my dad would be disappointing at minimum and I have no clue how my mom would react. I would like to think she would she would have a better reaction then my dad would.
also why does the OP Make words bold?
If I did come out I am sure my dad would be disappointing at minimum and I have no clue how my mom would react. I would like to think she would she would have a better reaction then my dad would.
also why does the OP Make words bold?
Thats how its supposed to be isnt it? No big parade nor any ostracizing or anything dramatic. just a simple "cool" or "congrats" or whatever and thats it.Queen Michael said:Hi. My name is Queen Michael, and I'm a crossdresser. I recently came out of the closet to my dad, and I also started wearing a dress at work. So far, nobody's had any complaints. It's a good thing I live in Sweden.
So coming out of the closet hasn't been a problem for me. How was it for you, if you've come out of the closet?[http://s1295.photobucket.com/user/HerrNeon/media/Facebook/Timeline%20Photos/1048294_488497771228086_1756416818_o.jpg.html]
When I was a boy, I read loads of comic books. And I figured that if I were going to realize my plans of writing in some way that nobody else does, this one would be pretty decent.Reincarnatedwolfgod said:
Personally homosexuality and transgender and cross dressing is really difficult for me to understand but i like to keep my mind open and not judge peopleRatties said:
I personally think the OP looks good in it, not because i find him attractive but anyone who is willing to give society the middle finger and say "this is how i choose to live, fuck your convention and deal with it" looks good for that reason. If you follow the herd like all the other brain dead zombies then you look the same as everyone else and are a boring fucker and your conversation is probably drier than ghandies flip flop.
Also OP if i ever meet you can you be my wing man? i bet the chicks go mad for a guy in a dress
I lol'd.Jadak said:
As a straight guy, I feel a little too vanilla to be posting in this thread. I never had to come out of any closet. There was no closet to come out of. If anything, I'm closer to asexual than gay/trans.
I support everyone's right to be who they are and pursue happiness through whatever non-harmful means they see fit. It's none of my business if you're gay, trans, bi, or whatever. And that's not a passive-aggressive way of saying I'm against it but too polite to say so. It's a way of saying exactly what I mean, which is that it isn't any of my business. It's got no bearing on me or my lifestyle. It doesn't affect my happiness or lack thereof in any way -- but it potentially affects yours, so go for it.
Alright so why did you quote me exactly? Really don't need to say much of anything because you pretty much just stated the obvious. (Kind of looks around the room for no reason) Have no idea where we go from here. Ever go to any interesting places? Really haven't traveled much so... anything to change the subject.shootthebandit said:
This isn't something I've had to deal with personally. So I have no idea what it's like to "come out".
When my daughter told me she was gay, I hope I handled it like I'd want it to be handled if I were. I told her that I love her, I support her no matter what, and as long as she's happy that's the only thing I care about.
I'll tell you guys and gals, I don't care at all. So long as whatever mate she chooses treats her with respect and dignity and makes her happy, the rest is inconsequential. I just hope I said the right things when she shared this with me.
Personally I couldn't be more straight and white if I were an albino arrow. But I just hope she's happy.
And to the OP, I'm glad you've had an easy time of it. No one likes to be marginalized. It's life affirming to live in a world where people can just be themselves more and more. If I live long enough to see a world free of silly bigotries, I'll die a happy man.
When my daughter told me she was gay, I hope I handled it like I'd want it to be handled if I were. I told her that I love her, I support her no matter what, and as long as she's happy that's the only thing I care about.
I'll tell you guys and gals, I don't care at all. So long as whatever mate she chooses treats her with respect and dignity and makes her happy, the rest is inconsequential. I just hope I said the right things when she shared this with me.
Personally I couldn't be more straight and white if I were an albino arrow. But I just hope she's happy.
And to the OP, I'm glad you've had an easy time of it. No one likes to be marginalized. It's life affirming to live in a world where people can just be themselves more and more. If I live long enough to see a world free of silly bigotries, I'll die a happy man.
My (personal, one human, doesn't matter) only issue lies within my own opinion, so that means it may be irrelevant (not important, not topical), but I think the dress looks kind of silly (not in bold, don't listen, just me voicing my perspective, just like this forum is supposed to allow). Maybe (not certain)you'd look better by my perspective wearing something (another dress!) other than a Qipao.
But it looks like something Chun-Li would wear, and that's pretty (very) BADASS. Even so, I'm flapping my lips (using my fingers, actually) so I'm definitely not from Sweden. That said, you probably have a much better sense of style than me.
I enjoyed your emphasis, so I feel driven to imitate. It's probably why I'm bothering to post (you're looking at one).
On this topic, I feel pretty good that I was one of the first people my friends (two) came out to before they came out to people other than their parents n' such. I feel happy that they felt comfortable enough in our year group, and comfortable enough with me the most issues they've had that I've seen was an awkward conversation with a HE teacher...she tried her best to treat it like a heterosexual relationship and say what she says to those couples, but she was quite clearly having trouble, and abandoned the joke. One of them is still having issues with his parents, though, we like to joke that they're scared he'll get pregnant. That is, they're fine with who he is, they're just not to into the way they do...stuff.
Glad things have run smoothly for you, you're lucky to live where you do. Enjoy the dress, your badge of honour!
But it looks like something Chun-Li would wear, and that's pretty (very) BADASS. Even so, I'm flapping my lips (using my fingers, actually) so I'm definitely not from Sweden. That said, you probably have a much better sense of style than me.
I enjoyed your emphasis, so I feel driven to imitate. It's probably why I'm bothering to post (you're looking at one).
On this topic, I feel pretty good that I was one of the first people my friends (two) came out to before they came out to people other than their parents n' such. I feel happy that they felt comfortable enough in our year group, and comfortable enough with me
the most issues they've had that I've seen was an awkward conversation with a HE teacher...she tried her best to treat it like a heterosexual relationship and say what she says to those couples, but she was quite clearly having trouble, and abandoned the joke. One of them is still having issues with his parents, though, we like to joke that they're scared he'll get pregnant. That is, they're fine with who he is, they're just not to into the way they do...stuff.Glad things have run smoothly for you, you're lucky to live where you do. Enjoy the dress, your badge of honour!
The only comparable I have is "coming out" as an atheist. I was young enough and not very devout, so I didn't end up having a crisis of faith, which I hear can be quite traumatic. My dad, I figure, wasn't much of a believer either, but having 2 highly devout parents moulded him in a way that made him accept his families faith. My conversion had a bit of a knock on effect with other members of my family.
My mom probably gave me the most grief. At first she just scoffed at it and thought I was being unruly. Eventually I put my foot down on a few topics, like going to mass and confession, saying that being there was as much an offence to others as it was to me and refused to go. At the Christmas of that same year she forced me to the church, but I just stood at the gate while she lost the plot at me, flinging all sorts of nonsensical terms at me.
Apparently "atheist" wasn't in her vocabularly, so she chose to call me a pagan. I suppose its better then heretic or apostate?
For years afterwards she was ashamed of my loss of faith and hid it away from others, family or friends. That did wonders for my confidence. I felt like I was some sort of dark secret of the family.
Now, nearly 15 years later, my Dad has all but officially renounced his faith and has become agnostic. My mom still does daily prayer, but never attends church and has either come to accept the way I feel or maybe even understands why I feel that way. My sister, through all this and before, cares too little about matters of faith to fall into any category... she just doesn't think about it either way.
But between what my mum did then and a couple of other lovely demonstrations of how to be a terrible parent, my relationship with my mom exists purely on the "unconditional" side of things. I still care about her, just not enough to engage in casual chats or visit her anymore then I have to. Yeah, not really a happy ending, but crippling self-esteem issues aside, it could have been worse.
EDIT: Oh wow, how selfish of me projecting my own issues without acknowledging the OPs transition.
I have no idea how it must have felt the first few times you engaged with people when adopting your new aesthetic. I can't imagine it was easy. It's good to know that in some places out there, not being the norm isn't grounds for shit like this:
And Chinese dresses just look good don't they? I've yet to see one that doesn't.
My mom probably gave me the most grief. At first she just scoffed at it and thought I was being unruly. Eventually I put my foot down on a few topics, like going to mass and confession, saying that being there was as much an offence to others as it was to me and refused to go. At the Christmas of that same year she forced me to the church, but I just stood at the gate while she lost the plot at me, flinging all sorts of nonsensical terms at me.
Apparently "atheist" wasn't in her vocabularly, so she chose to call me a pagan. I suppose its better then heretic or apostate?
For years afterwards she was ashamed of my loss of faith and hid it away from others, family or friends. That did wonders for my confidence. I felt like I was some sort of dark secret of the family.
Now, nearly 15 years later, my Dad has all but officially renounced his faith and has become agnostic. My mom still does daily prayer, but never attends church and has either come to accept the way I feel or maybe even understands why I feel that way. My sister, through all this and before, cares too little about matters of faith to fall into any category... she just doesn't think about it either way.
But between what my mum did then and a couple of other lovely demonstrations of how to be a terrible parent, my relationship with my mom exists purely on the "unconditional" side of things. I still care about her, just not enough to engage in casual chats or visit her anymore then I have to. Yeah, not really a happy ending, but crippling self-esteem issues aside, it could have been worse.
EDIT: Oh wow, how selfish of me projecting my own issues without acknowledging the OPs transition.
I have no idea how it must have felt the first few times you engaged with people when adopting your new aesthetic. I can't imagine it was easy. It's good to know that in some places out there, not being the norm isn't grounds for shit like this:
And Chinese dresses just look good don't they? I've yet to see one that doesn't.
My parents broke all contact when I came out as gay.
I don't really mind, my father didn't even care to learn sign language so we could communicate, and my mother is rather mean, so no loss there. My siblings don't mind though, one of my older brothers even keeps introducing me to other women he knows it is pretty great.
So yeah, comming out was a bit sad at first, but now I am really super happy I did it.
PS: That is a pretty great dress, OP. I want a dress like that.
I don't really mind, my father didn't even care to learn sign language so we could communicate, and my mother is rather mean, so no loss there. My siblings don't mind though, one of my older brothers even keeps introducing me to other women he knows it is pretty great.
So yeah, comming out was a bit sad at first, but now I am really super happy I did it.
PS: That is a pretty great dress, OP. I want a dress like that.
Have to say, that dress suits you fairly well.
On my own. Coming out to my parents as transsexual, both of them were very schocked. My mother sent me to a therapist that in turn sent me to a specialist. My father reached the very logical conclusion that living in a conservative country such as Sweden would ruin my life and thus I should migrate to the US. Ten minutes later the real reason emerged, he was worried about the family's reputation. Strange that my mother who is a noble and have a PhD doesn't care about that.
Novadays my mother tries to act like a supportive mother even though we doesn't talk about that part. My father is constantly hostile and gets angry when I tell him to stop verbally assaulting me. Fortunately, for him, he is a coward and never does anything more than foul words.
My few friends of that time... Best friend is very supportive and is too nice for his own good. Resulted in me getting a crush on him. Still on awesome terms even if I'm a bit clingy. Childhood friend is supportive and nice as always. He seems to have feelings for me, which I'm unused to. Got a bunch of new friends, all bisexuals and nearly all transgirls. It's very nice to have people who can relate and understand ones issues. One of them is my official "cuddle friend". Then I have a bunch of guy friends, all metalheads, that I play pen and paper RPGs with. Never told them, but they knew me since before transitioning and haven't commented it at all.
Bisexuality, never really got out of the closet for that one. Parents are probably wondering. I talk freely about it anytime it's relevant and sometimes to tease my best friend. It always was the lesser issue for me.
On my own. Coming out to my parents as transsexual, both of them were very schocked. My mother sent me to a therapist that in turn sent me to a specialist. My father reached the very logical conclusion that living in a conservative country such as Sweden would ruin my life and thus I should migrate to the US. Ten minutes later the real reason emerged, he was worried about the family's reputation. Strange that my mother who is a noble and have a PhD doesn't care about that.
Novadays my mother tries to act like a supportive mother even though we doesn't talk about that part. My father is constantly hostile and gets angry when I tell him to stop verbally assaulting me. Fortunately, for him, he is a coward and never does anything more than foul words.
My few friends of that time... Best friend is very supportive and is too nice for his own good. Resulted in me getting a crush on him. Still on awesome terms even if I'm a bit clingy. Childhood friend is supportive and nice as always. He seems to have feelings for me, which I'm unused to. Got a bunch of new friends, all bisexuals and nearly all transgirls. It's very nice to have people who can relate and understand ones issues. One of them is my official "cuddle friend". Then I have a bunch of guy friends, all metalheads, that I play pen and paper RPGs with. Never told them, but they knew me since before transitioning and haven't commented it at all.
Bisexuality, never really got out of the closet for that one. Parents are probably wondering. I talk freely about it anytime it's relevant and sometimes to tease my best friend. It always was the lesser issue for me.
