Corrupt-A-Wish Foundation

[LewsTherin]

You can't feel the coffee's warmth, and neither that of a woman.

I wish that my wishes were wished for me.

 

[TheComedown]

Granted but now it is only pain and destruction that is wished upon you.

I wish my wallet wasn't empty.

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

Granted. Now your wallet is always filled with wasps.

I wish I had gold.

 

[Bluedemon322]

Granted, but now everyone gets gold too so its worthless

 

[Broken Orange]

You know, I was willing to grant you your wildest dreams just this one time, but nooo, you had to leave it blank.

I wish that people were not idiots.

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

Granted. Now everyone is intelligent. So intelligent that their brains implode.

I wish that I could talk to animals.

 

[Sassafrass]

Granted but you can only talk about politics.

I wish I could be a talented writer.

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

Granted. Now everything you write comes true. Shame you can only write horror stories.

I wish I had expensive clothes.

 

[Sassafrass]

Granted but they have been covered in 'I love Twilight' stickers.

I wish I could con celebrities.

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

Granted. But only internet celebrities.

I wish I had more charisma.

 

[CounterAttack]

Granted, but you have less intelligence.

I wish I had a winning lottery ticket.

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

Granted. But so does everyone else.

I wish I lived in a huge mansion.

 

[Anarchemitis]

Granted. However you should've also asked for a good Contractor.
To bring the building to safe living standards and legal building code will cost $532,970.
Theoretically you could continue living in it as unsafe and badly built as it is, but less risky than living in it is the fact that you could be arrested for doing so and have the building repossessed and demolished by the Government.

I wish Fallout was less expensive.

 

[TheComedown]

Granted, the game is cheaper, so is the quality, the game now sucks balls.

I wish i had a cap gun

 

[Zacharine]

Now you do. Too bad they conscript you and send you to war with it. Have fun!

I wish the world was flat.

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

Granted. But it's no longer hospitable.

I wish I had a tank.

 

[Sassafrass]

Granted but it's made of paper.

I wish I had a comfier bed.

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

Granted. It's so comfy that you get absorbed into it.

I wish I could speak another language.

 

[Sassafrass]

Granted but it is the long lost language that sounds like you are insulting everyone.

I wish I had a lasso.

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

Granted. It's made out of a angry python.

I wish I was more wise.