Cracked thinks Nintendo's Lost It

Recommended Videos

rob_simple

Elite Member
Aug 8, 2010
1,864
0
41
ReservoirAngel said:
It is Nintendo we're talking about, and no matter how much people have suddenly started to hate everything they do around here lately, I will always have faith in their abilities.
You do realise that the Gamecube and N64 were both relative failures, right? And that, despite the success of the Wii based on unit sales (which do not mean it's a good console), their good game to shovelware horseshit ratio is still considerably worse than any other console.
 

Squidbulb

New member
Jul 22, 2011
306
0
0
His comments are actually valid, especially the last one. As I was watching the presentation I kept finding myself thinking "Wow, this is Super Mario Galaxy all over again". Nobody wants to sit back and just help you, they actually want to PLAY THE GAME. It's not that difficult Nintendo. Giving someone a different experience to the rest is not a good idea, and damn I can see a lot of arguments arising over who gets the controller. Especially that Luigi's Mansion game, what are you supposed to do if you can't find enough people?
However, he did over=react a lot, and I think it may be a bit too early to judge, especially as we don't know all the details yet.
 

spekkio9

New member
Jun 3, 2012
9
0
0
All this doom and gloom about Nintendo is premature. Remember that they are the only company that profits from console sales themselves. Sony and MS take a loss for each console sold and make up the difference from games.

I suppose that's also why Nintendo is less willing to accomodate 3rd parties -- they truly feel that Mario 80 and Zelda 52 can carry the load, and it doesn't need 3rd party royalties to make money.

But that philosophy no doubt explains why they come out with lower tech consoles. They want to keep production cost low and keep the systems affordable by making pure gaming systems. They are partially right, though. When the Wii launched, very very few households had HDTV's. I don't know what the numbers are today, but personally I didn't upgrade to this gen until after I bought my hdtv... for $1500 in 09. I think the market is now catching up and putting out an hd console today is more financially savvy. The other two are going to release $6-800 behemoths that are 3d capable and give you a happy ending everytime you beat a game, but the vast majority of the people playing games won't have 3d hdtvs. Nintendo is going to stick with affordable technology that will fully utilize the entertainment systems in the majority of households. Their achilled heel is the way they exclude 3rd parties and force them to redesign their interfaces for Nintendo's whacky gimmicks... it's much easier for devs to say f u and make their games for 2/3 consoles withease.

With everyone bitching about the cost of games, don't tell me a console released for 1/2 - 2/3 its competitors won't be successful. People will eat it up, even if it collects dust after a year.
 

Phuctifyno

New member
Jul 6, 2010
418
0
0
SonicWaffle said:
Phuctifyno said:
Also, to anyone who thinks Nintendo hasn't lost it.... have you played Skyward Sword? Have you played Other M?
I haven't played either, but I have several friends who have, and I've heard a lot of positive things about Skyward Sword. Other M, not so much, but Zelda seems to have gotten the big thumbs up.
It really (absolutely, actually) depends on your tolerance for "helpful sidekick".

Navi was annoying, but OoT still ended up being an awesome game despite her. Midna had a little too much """personality""", but was sometimes charming and didn't make TP unplayable in any way. King of Red Lions was stuck being a boat, so he couldn't follow you around everywhere and was generally pretty great.

FI is Fucking Insulting. If you really need as much help as Fi forces on you, you're also not old enough to read, making her completely pointless anyway. For the first six hours of the game, you really can't go more than two minutes with out being interrupted to be told to do what you were already going to do. I actually rage quit because the game was constantly being interrupted.

I understand if some Zelda fans are willing to force themselves through that to squeeze out any ounce of joy they can find in the game, but I've got a dozen other Zelda that games I can replay instead. Or Skyrim, which is really what this franchise should have become, when you boil down what made the original LoZ great.

[rant over, sorry]

Anyway, if you can put up with all that, then yeah, give it a go. The art design is great.
 

Semitendon

New member
Aug 4, 2009
359
0
0
I read Cheese's article before this thread was made. Not only is Cheese one of the funniest writers at Cracked, but he makes some very good points about Nintendo. I don't agree with everything in his article, but the points about forcing one person to use the pad control to do menial tasks, or visa versa, and the point about how amazing it will be to play games that came out a year ago, are pretty good.

I bought the Wii, and while I have had some mild entertainment with it, it really wasn't worth it. When I look at the Wii U, I see the same problems as the Wii, but with the addition of brand new annoyances.

I wasn't going to buy the Wii U anyway, but this article does a decent job of explaining why no one should buy it.

P.S. I am not down on Nintendo, I would love to see them reinvent themselves and make people remember why they were famous in the first place. But the gimics, I just can't take anymore gimics.
 

Petromir

New member
Apr 10, 2010
593
0
0
DazZ. said:
Thought you said John Cleese for a moment, all interest dropped the second I realised however.
And do you know what Cleese's family surname was once upon a time?
 

artanis_neravar

New member
Apr 18, 2011
2,560
0
0
Matthew94 said:
Buretsu said:
Matthew94 said:
Buretsu said:
Matthew94 said:
3. These versions will obviously be better, not worse
Depends on how you define 'better', and if you include 'crowbarred in GamePad support' in your definition of better, then you're obviously more a fan of gimmicky bullshit than I.
> Gets the same shit for years
> Complains of nothing new
> Gets innovation
> OMG Y CAN'T U BE LIKE WHAT I'M USED TO

Stay classy gamers. I mean it in a technical way seeing as the Wii U will be more powerful than current gen consoles.
Again, we seem to have completely different definitions of words like 'innovation'...
I'm guessing you also call yourself a hardcore gamer?

EDIT But yes, I would say what they are doing is innovative.
I agree, and ZombiU has done everything I could have asked for it to do with the new controller.
 

Bromion

New member
Jun 13, 2011
48
0
0
Phuctifyno said:
SonicWaffle said:
Phuctifyno said:
FI is Fucking Insulting. If you really need as much help as Fi forces on you, you're also not old enough to read, making her completely pointless anyway. For the first six hours of the game, you really can't go more than two minutes with out being interrupted to be told to do what you were already going to do. I actually rage quit because the game was constantly being interrupted.
you know that you could have just not pushed the button that makes her talk right? That is literally the only way that you could hear so much from her outside of a cut scene.
 

Emiscary

New member
Sep 7, 2008
990
0
0
I haven't given Nintendo my patronage for years. Prettysure my last investment in Nintendo was Smash Bros Brawl, and in hindsight I don't feel all that good about the purchase.

Last Nintendo game I genuinely enjoyed was Pikmin. And in the tradition of Nintendo games, they've cloned that enjoyable game. Twice. The newest version is also sure to include annoying hardware features that people will get sick of in very short order.
 

370999

New member
May 17, 2010
1,107
0
0
Two things baffle me here

A) The anything cracked says is treated seriously

and

B) That people find Cleese funny. He isn't. He isn't as bad as (shudder) Christina H but he isn't funny. At all.
 

tthor

New member
Apr 9, 2008
2,931
0
0
SpAc3man said:
The Wii U is going to sell like crazy
to who? i've heard a couple people try to say this, but I don't see it. first off, who is the WiiU's target audience? casual gamers have mostly already moved on to smartphone games and social network games. Casuals generally don't seem to be the most likely to shell out a lot of money for a new console and games, especially when they can get cheap or even free mobile games on their phones that they can take wherever they go, so only maybe a small chunk will move to the WiiU. and most of the hardcore gamers got the Wii, became severely disappointed with it, and as a result have become very turned off of Nintendo. this mostly just leaves the Nintendo fans left, who would buy just about any nintendo console they could afford. And some people argue that its similarities to a tablet will be a huge selling point, but the WiiU controller still lacks the mobility, versatility, or just general functionality of a tablet computer, which frankly to me just leaves a few gimmicky tablet functions left.

Frankly, I don't think even Nintendo knows who their target audience is..
 

SpAc3man

New member
Jul 26, 2009
1,197
0
0
tthor said:
SpAc3man said:
The Wii U is going to sell like crazy
to who? i've heard a couple people try to say this, but I don't see it. first off, who is the WiiU's target audience? casual gamers have mostly already moved on to smartphone games and social network games. Casuals generally don't seem to be the most likely to shell out a lot of money for a new console and games, especially when they can get cheap or even free mobile games on their phones that they can take wherever they go, so only maybe a small chunk will move to the WiiU. and most of the hardcore gamers got the Wii, became severely disappointed with it, and as a result have become very turned off of Nintendo. this mostly just leaves the Nintendo fans left, who would buy just about any nintendo console they could afford. And some people argue that its similarities to a tablet will be a huge selling point, but the WiiU controller still lacks the mobility, versatility, or just general functionality of a tablet computer, which frankly to me just leaves a few gimmicky tablet functions left.

Frankly, I don't think even Nintendo knows who their target audience is..
A large amount of current Wii users will want to upgrade to the new and improved Wii and there will be a large number of more serious gamers who are impressed by what the new console is capable of. The 360 sold so well in the "serious gamer" market because it was the first release in the current gen to be aimed at that audience. It didn't matter that everyone knew the PS3 was going to be more powerful, it was the best at the time. No doubt the Wii U won't be as popular with that crowd as the 360 was but the casual market is huge. Arguing they already have smartphones doesn't mean anything. When the Wii was released the flash game market was where the casuals were gathered but that didn't stop them. If they like tablets and smartphones they are going to all be wanting a console with a neat touch screen. It isn't about portability, its about "OMG a Wii that has a touch screen, I love both of those things!"