Dear Escapist, I F*cked up.

[Woodsey]

For a bit of one-upmanship, I'll just say that even if a girl said she was on the pill I'd still use a johnny.

Anyway, WOW. Can I ask, do you think she planned it? I mean, she "forgets" to take the pill for a week and then refuses to adopt or abort the baby.

How old are you by the way because - depending on your age - it'll be better to tell your parents RIGHT FUCKING NOW, whether you want to or not.

And the most honest part of my response: I really don't have a clue what you should really do, because all I'd do would be to cry. And cry some more.

[small]And I really don't think guys should cry.[/small]

 

[jonathan19]

What about 4chan? Maybe he could get some good advice there.

Why would you ever say that!? Get out now!

 

[Hafnium]

Sorry to see you got trapped by a crazy *****, all men should be on guard after hearing stories like this.

What I would do is probably the cowards way out, but it's the one I would take. Don't deny possibly being the father, but make her prove that it's yours (if it's not, you've WON!)
Secondly, don't continue the relationship for the child's sake, that cannot be stressed enough!
Possibly go to legal means to make your point heard about her scheming ways, because it is a f*cking trap, made very intentionally.*
When you've been to college, settle down as a long a distance away from her as possible. Cowardly? A bit. Justified? Hell yes!


*I'm quite sick of the statement "No matter what, when you had sex with her, and a kid pops out, you are responsible and should pay child support/raise it." When it's obviously a trick, proven or admitted, the guy shouldn't be legally held responsible.

Good luck man, hope you get lucky somehow and it isn't yours.

 

[MiracleOfSound]

Some women are fuckng crazy man.

I once had a one night stand where a girl got mad at me because I wouldn't fuck her without a condom. I packed up my shit and got the hell out of there.

 

[DazBurger]

-snip

You could do it the.. Maybe somewhat cold way.

Its her who wanted the child, you never agreed to it, she even told you that she used birth control...

Well... I would say, that if she wants the baby, its hers, not yours.


Either that and/or demand a test. Sorry mate, but it sounds like she is te type who would do anything to capture a young male in her web for eternal possesion, maybe you arent the only one she tried it with?



Anout you fucking up? Well you were fucking, but cant really say you asked for anything, and the only thing you did, was trusting her. :/

 

[credop]

My girlfriend got pregnant at 17, we were totally loved up, but it changed. We became more serious which scared me at first, we started talking about our own place, and at first i didnt want the kid. I had a job, im in college, and she was too. It seemed all too much. But then when i got into the idea of being 'a dad' rather than 'having a kid' it started to feel really good.

Me and Danyel now live together, its a great place, and no, were not some chavvy little couple, far from it. We both work, and for another point, i hate tracksuits. Little phoenix is due in a few months time and i love that we decided to stay together through it all.

Im not sure how this will help you, but dont look at it as having a kid, look at it as being a dad.

 

[Evil Earlgrey]

You did what your sex drive and need to feel loved made you do. Not a bad things at all. The only problem seemed to be that you lack a little experience to know that a condom is also mandatory if she says shes on the pill and that her rushing for sex is not an indicator for sincere love and the need for a serious relationship.

What now? If you want my advice:
1) Get someone to help you with that depression. You can not handle such a problem on your own if depressed. Im serious. Important point here.
2) See if there is a way (maybe legal) you can take to prevent that baby. Chances are low since women have more rights in that case. But there may well be something you can do to prevent future problems. IF there is something: You need to know now. Because if she really did it on purpose that is a serious offense and maybe there is something to protect you from responsibilities like paying for the child and so forth in that case.
3) After that.. you'll just have to accept the things the way they turn out to be and be as positive as possible about things.

Wish you all the best

 

[Captain Blackout]

snip

Been there, done that. Yes, that was brutally flip. I love my son, but I know almost precisely right where you're at.

#1 Demand a paternity test. If the child is yours you'll have to pay for it buuuttt you're paying anyway if the child is yours so... The bottom line is this girl is playing you, and you don't want to find out 18 years from now that some other guy should have been held responsible for this.

#2 If the child is yours, you are stuck. This girl is not giving this child up and here's why: She put her hooks into you because she wanted your devotion. This child represents that devotion to her, but from her child. You're most likely dealing with some level of pathology here.

#3 Here's another question: Is this girl in anyway shape or form fit to be a mother? Life sucks having a full time responsiblity but a child is one that can be worth it. You have rights as a father and as long as your in for the full run financially, you might want to seriously consider what role you want to play in this child's life. If you want a role, start preparing now, you'll thank yourself for it later. If not, prepare to have a financial debt for the next 18+ years that you can pay off early if you manage your finances right.

#4 Get counseling. You're going to have to manage paternity, college, small-town fame, and depression so don't do it alone. Don't post on the 'net (I understand this thread, just thinking down the road), get a real counselor.

#5 Condoms are your best friend. If you fall in love with your child and become completely convinced one is enough, scissors are your next best friend. In the hands of a doctor. Just the vasectomy, not the rest of the equipment.

#6 Sorry for the lecturing, but hey, I wouldn't be doing my job without it.

EDIT: Do NOT have an intimate relationship with this girl until you're both a bit readier for it. If my suspicions are right (and oh god they are all too often) then she will suck your soul right out of you. And not even in the fun way, because she already started the process that way. The finisher is not pretty.

 

[Captain Blackout]

Have you caught STDs or something? Obviously they aren't the issue here, so just wondering why you would bring that up unprovoked...

They aren't? Did you check? Dumb ass...

Jesus! I tried to summarize all the best advice I could and forgot this.

QFT!!!

Get tested for everything, now!

Because if this girl was playing more than just you, well, you do the math.

A healthy sex life means regular checkups.

 

[spinFX]

Kill mirelurks until you level up, then unlock the Childkiller perk.

Wow. Just wow. This is amazing.

It's in horrible taste, but soooo funny.

Thanks.

I needed that.

Wow big respect to you for not blowing up on that joke. I actually would have understood if you did.

And yeah, since I'm an outside party looking in I instantly thought that was funny because I am a sick sick man.

I have no advice for your bud, but at least you haven't lost your sense of humor. Good stuff. And good luck.

 

[Exocet]

First off,are you absolutely positive the kid is yours?
Secondly,ask her to go to talk to someone about it.Not because she needs to be supported and cared for and bla bla bla,but because I find it strange she gets you in bed very fast,forgets birth control(which no woman I know has ever forgotten,ever) and oh noes,she gets pregnant from someone who is going to college and therefore might have a better future than the guy from the small village who stays there forever as owner of the local grocery store.

Lastly,how much bullshit is the fact that the man can't have a say in what happens to the child?As far as I'm concerned,you(maybe) are one of the two people required to conceive,yet only the woman chooses.
Not to be a macho asshole(not my style ladies),but this is another exemple of women saying they want equality,but keep all the "little" perks on the side.
This was a little off topic and I know it doesn't concern every single woman out there,but damnit it makes me angry.

 

[Serperoth]

Dude, that's serious. A child can be a blessing, but can you two handle it?
I'm no expert, so all I can say is this:
*hugs*

 

[SeanTheSheep]

Oh my god....I don't fucking know what you should do.....
I am sorry for what you have to go through
You should demand an answer as to how on earth she could forget to take her pill!

Also congratulations, you've made me feel empathy....that very rarely happens.

Empathy?
I think you have some definitons wrong there.
Empathy is knowing how someone feels, and feeling sorry for them, sympathy, is just feeling sorry for them.

So you've either gotten something wrong, or there are a [/i]lot[/i] of things we don't know about you...

OT: Uh...
Wow, you screwed up big time. (Pun not intended)
All the advice I can give you is talk to her about three things:
1) Is she actually pregnant? Will she prove it?
2) HOW THE FRICK DID SHE "FORGET" HER PILLS FOR A WHOLE WEEK?
3) What are you going to do with it? Abortion? Adoption? Keep it?

And also. ALWAYS wear a condom.
I carry one everywhere except to work, just in case.
And the only reason I don't have one at work is because I'm a teacher, and having a condom at a school would seem a little dodgy.

 

[AMMO Kid]

I'm scared out of my mind, and I don't know what the hell to do.

Well, first of all I would recommend keeping the baby, You'd probably regret not keeping it later, and it was your choice to bang her so I think that would be the responsible thing to do.