Dear Escapist, I F*cked up.

[Loves2spooge]

You should've used a condom. She may be a crazy-ass ***** who wants to get pregnant but that's your fault for letting one past the net. I suppose future advice would be simple; pull-out.

And don't share your personal problems on the internet. There's a reason why they're called 'personal' problems, because they are just that.

You got yourself into this mess, now you deal with the consequences. What's done is done.

Oh, by the way; sleeping with your friend's girlfriend? Really classy. I don't believe in karma, but this is karmic justice if ever I heard it.

If you read the entire OP, you'll see that they broke up before he hooked up with her.

I f*cked up, but at least there's an edit button for my mistake...

Oh, and to the OP; you've fucked up, deal with the consequences. Learn about parenting, realize that the child is now a commitment for at least the next 18 years, and stay on friendly terms with the mother (don't marry her because you're the father of her child, that's fucking stupid, and a divorce statistic in the waiting).

Sorry if I sound a little curt, but too many children are brought into this world on the wrong terms, and they end up being done wrong by their parents and psychologically messed up. Be prepared for what's to come, because if she is truly pregnant and you're the father, your life will not be the same again. And seriously, consider abortion; and I'm not being vulgar there; if you feel you're not fiscally or emotionally responsible for a child, then you shouldn't bring a child into the world. Don't listen to that shit about it being murder; it's better to have never known life than only knowing a troubled life. Not only is a choice that would benefit you, but ultimately save the child from a bad life.

As a matter of fact, ignore this, and ignore what everyone on here's said. This is about you and your choices. Just know the consequences either way.

 

[ad5x5]

Don't decide to do anything until you know if that's your little bundle of perpetual bankruptcy.

I'm pretty sure (but don't take it as gospel) that they can do paternity tests before it is born.

Don't accept any responsibility unless you know it is yours.

I don't know your situation, I only read the first two pages, but it sounds to me like she's laid a classic man-trap. (scuse the pun). Sounds to me like she slept with someone (possibly a one night stand), found out she was pregnant and decided that she needed support so decided that was going to be you as she knows you're a nice guy, who'll be there to help.

 

[Dr Ampersand]

Multiple paternity tests. If it's not your then you don't have much responsibility. If it is yours then bear the responsibility. If she refuses then watch her eating habits and ask her friends to inform you if she acts as if she really were pregnant or if she's just using it so the 2 of you could stay together.

 

[Grey_Focks]

Take it to court, the ***** lied to you.

EDIT: By the way, I love the total lack of sympathy in this thread. Talk about a double-standard, huh? If a man told a woman that he's had a vasectomy, and they sleep together and she ends up pregnant, everybody would scream bloody murder and demand his head on a pike, but switch the genders and it's still the man's fault, somehow.

How about we all stop this jealousy-fueled "everything that goes wrong in a sexual situation is your fault because you have a penis" bullshit, and stop overlooking the fact that everybody in this situation should be held equally accountable. Actually, scratch that, considering OP was acting under dishonest pretenses presented by the other party, I'd say that this whole thing rests hugely on the female, and OP's life shouldn't be ruined because of one cock-trapping girl.

I understand that everybody that says "well, you're fucked, OP, that's what sex gets you" is probably someone who holds the concept of chivalry very highly, but you need to understand that chivalry is a two-way street. It's safe to say that if a woman tries to trap you into raising her child based on deliberate actions and blatant lies, she's not an example of "the fairer sex", and should not be regarded, nor protected, as such.

tl;dr stop giving OP shit because he's the male in the equation.

a million times over this^ I swear all these people who keep just saying "man up!" are just being naive. Based on what you told us, it was her fault, and while it obviously takes two to tango, it's still her fault and you really do need to get a paternity test.

Just be in mind, this girl sounds mildy crazy, and the hormones from being pregnant aren't going to help things at all. expect the unexpected, and expect that no matter what you do, you are going to be considered the bad guy in this situation. I'm sorry, but the people will always side with the pregnant girl over the guy.

Good luck, in what ever you decide to do, but seriously, get the paternity test.

 

[ARatherHandsomeGent]

My brothers dad (we have different dads) moved to Australia. My brother completely resents him and would possibly kill him if they met in real life, so you may not want to do anything like that. I think you should have a test to see if it's yours first, and if it is tell her you don't want a relationship but would support the baby.

 

[Arkhangelsk]

You should've used a condom. She may be a crazy-ass ***** who wants to get pregnant but that's your fault for letting one past the net. I suppose future advice would be simple; pull-out.

And don't share your personal problems on the internet. There's a reason why they're called 'personal' problems, because they are just that.

You got yourself into this mess, now you deal with the consequences. What's done is done.

Oh, by the way; sleeping with your friend's girlfriend? Really classy. I don't believe in karma, but this is karmic justice if ever I heard it.

If you read the entire OP, you'll see that they broke up before he hooked up with her.

I f*cked up, but at least there's an edit button for my mistake...

Oh, and to the OP; you've fucked up, deal with the consequences. Learn about parenting, realize that the child is now a commitment for at least the next 18 years, and stay on friendly terms with the mother (don't marry her because you're the father of her child, that's fucking stupid, and a divorce statistic in the waiting).

Sorry if I sound a little curt, but too many children are brought into this world on the wrong terms, and they end up being done wrong by their parents and psychologically messed up. Be prepared for what's to come, because if she is truly pregnant and you're the father, your life will not be the same again. And seriously, consider abortion; and I'm not being vulgar there; if you feel you're not fiscally or emotionally responsible for a child, then you shouldn't bring a child into the world. Don't listen to that shit about it being murder; it's better to have never known life than only knowing a troubled life. Not only is a choice that would benefit you, but ultimately save the child from a bad life.

As a matter of fact, ignore this, and ignore what everyone on here's said. This is about you and your choices. Just know the consequences either way.

That was low...

Did you read the entire OP? He isn't the one saying no to abortion, it's the girl who doesn't. And I don't get why people keep blaming this guy. The pill is an acceptable way to prevent pregnancy. The only he did wrong was to trust the girl too much. Technically, he owes nothing to the mother or the kid. If we're speaking morals, he should take care of the kid, but only for the sake for the kid. But if I were in that situation, I'd have a grudge over the mother forever for fucking up my life.

 

[Archemetis]

Take it to court, the ***** lied to you.

EDIT: By the way, I love the total lack of sympathy in this thread. Talk about a double-standard, huh? If a man told a woman that he's had a vasectomy, and they sleep together and she ends up pregnant, everybody would scream bloody murder and demand his head on a pike, but switch the genders and it's still the man's fault, somehow.

How about we all stop this jealousy-fueled "everything that goes wrong in a sexual situation is your fault because you have a penis" bullshit, and stop overlooking the fact that everybody in this situation should be held equally accountable. Actually, scratch that, considering OP was acting under dishonest pretenses presented by the other party, I'd say that this whole thing rests hugely on the female, and OP's life shouldn't be ruined because of one cock-trapping girl.

I understand that everybody that says "well, you're fucked, OP, that's what sex gets you" is probably someone who holds the concept of chivalry very highly, but you need to understand that chivalry is a two-way street. It's safe to say that if a woman tries to trap you into raising her child based on deliberate actions and blatant lies, she's not an example of "the fairer sex", and should not be regarded, nor protected, as such.

tl;dr stop giving OP shit because he's the male in the equation.

Valid Argument.
But.

Bottom Line, it's a mutual responsibility to provide respective protection before engaging in the act of sexual intercourse.
Yes the girl in this equation is an idiot for failing to take/lying about taking her pill, but the guy in this equation is not entirely without blame, as I stated in my post, the man should always (unless of course planning to conceive a Child) use a condom, it's not only a preventative for pregnancy is just common health sense.

Failure to do so, leads to situations like this.

I have sympathy for the guy because it's a situation I've been in myself have been in, thankfully the girl in my story was a lying, cheating skank and the child (if it was ever real) couldn't have been mine. As you might tell from my advise I'm too careful for that*.

But that doesn't excuse his failure to provide the adequate protection...
And so now he's 'paying for it'.
However given his post, I'm glad to see that if the child does exist and is his, he's willing to accept responsibility even though he's clearly terrified of the idea.
I respect him for that.

[* By 'too careful' I'm referring to the fact that I check my condoms after use for splits, it's not sexy, but I'm willing to sacrifice sexy for safety.]

 

[Loves2spooge]

You should've used a condom. She may be a crazy-ass ***** who wants to get pregnant but that's your fault for letting one past the net. I suppose future advice would be simple; pull-out.

And don't share your personal problems on the internet. There's a reason why they're called 'personal' problems, because they are just that.

You got yourself into this mess, now you deal with the consequences. What's done is done.

Oh, by the way; sleeping with your friend's girlfriend? Really classy. I don't believe in karma, but this is karmic justice if ever I heard it.

If you read the entire OP, you'll see that they broke up before he hooked up with her.

I f*cked up, but at least there's an edit button for my mistake...

Oh, and to the OP; you've fucked up, deal with the consequences. Learn about parenting, realize that the child is now a commitment for at least the next 18 years, and stay on friendly terms with the mother (don't marry her because you're the father of her child, that's fucking stupid, and a divorce statistic in the waiting).

Sorry if I sound a little curt, but too many children are brought into this world on the wrong terms, and they end up being done wrong by their parents and psychologically messed up. Be prepared for what's to come, because if she is truly pregnant and you're the father, your life will not be the same again. And seriously, consider abortion; and I'm not being vulgar there; if you feel you're not fiscally or emotionally responsible for a child, then you shouldn't bring a child into the world. Don't listen to that shit about it being murder; it's better to have never known life than only knowing a troubled life. Not only is a choice that would benefit you, but ultimately save the child from a bad life.

As a matter of fact, ignore this, and ignore what everyone on here's said. This is about you and your choices. Just know the consequences either way.

That was low...

Did you read the entire OP? He isn't the one saying no to abortion, it's the girl who doesn't. And I don't get why people keep blaming this guy. The pill is an acceptable way to prevent pregnancy. The only he did wrong was to trust the girl too much. Technically, he owes nothing to the mother or the kid. If we're speaking morals, he should take care of the kid, but only for the sake for the kid. But if I were in that situation, I'd have a grudge over the mother forever for fucking up my life.

I did, upon realizing my error; but I stand by my remarks. I've had friends who've gone through this pregnancy scare shit before, and no amount of sugar resolves the situation; brutal honesty's a necessity, if only to hammer home the reality of such situations. Though I'm sure he's aware of this. She's at fault for not taking her pill (and might I add, a f*cking idiot) and he's at fault for not wrapping up his junk (seriously, who the fuck doesn't wear a condom these days? Oh yeah, that's right, people who want children). Or, you could've just kept it in your pants, gone into the bathroom and whacked off.

You live with your mistakes, how you live with it is up to you though. I'm sorry if this all sounds cruel, but such is folly. If anything, consider this a test of character.

 

[PixieFace]

I did, upon realizing my error; but I stand by my remarks. I've had friends who've gone through this pregnancy scare shit before, and no amount of sugar resolves the situation; brutal honesty's a necessity, if only to hammer home the reality of such situations. Though I'm sure he's aware of this. She's at fault for not taking her pill (and might I add, a f*cking idiot) and he's at fault for not wrapping up his junk (seriously, who the fuck doesn't wear a condom these days? Oh yeah, that's right, people who want children). Or, you could've just kept it in your pants, gone into the bathroom and whacked off.

You live with your mistakes, how you live with it is up to you though. I'm sorry if this all sounds cruel, but such is folly. If anything, consider this a test of character.

I agree with you 100%. Yes, it's harsh, but that's fucking life. I am sometimes known as the condom fairy at my college for lecturing people so much on wearing rubbers and giving away free ones. You know why? Because it's smart. It's what you have to do when you have an intent to go around bonking someone. ANYONE: if you're single, married, or otherwise involved, you do what you need to so you don't have to change your life plans for a baby. She takes the pill, you wear a rubber. You check to see if it's ripped. If it is, she needs to take the morning after pill for good measure. The primary birth control pill can only go so far.

Safe sex 101. They should have taught you this in school, and you should have listened.

Now that the OP has recieved my you-dun-fucked-up lecture, here's some practical advice:

Even if she "forgot" on purpose, even if she refuses to abort, the fact still remains that you are a father. A daddy. You are a helpless child's first role model and mentor in life. That baby *needs* you. Please, for his or her sake, get a job and do your best. You're still a kid yourself, but you need to do everything you can because that kid is a HELL of a lot more helpless than you are right now. Change your college plans to stay local. Don't get married (even if you're in love, you need to wait) but support that mommy anyway. Women go through a lot of mental and physical pain during childbirth, too. Research all you can on childhood development and what a growing baby needs.

Be cool, be calm, and become a father you would want to have.

Oh, and go on Maury to get a DNA test. For all you know, she could've been screwing some other guy without your knowlege. Then maybe, you are NOT the father!

 

[cheese_wizington]

Convince her to have an abortion is what I'd do.

Wow, I'm NOT a nice person.

 

[rddj623]

I'm gonna go with the whole "man up" bit too. Responsibility sucks balls. Never the less it is something that we must accept as we become adults. Every action has a consequence or at least the potential for a consequence. Now due to this situation this is all happening to you alot sooner than you had hoped I'm sure. That doesn't mean you can skip out on it. I mean you CAN. It's just you shouldn't. That baby is innocent. She may be a conniving ***** who did all this on purpose for whatever crazy, selfish reasons. And you may be a fool for not being more careful. None of that makes that baby any less innocent and in need of a loving and caring family to raise it. "Man up" and be there for the kid, hopefully not just financially. You at one point cared for this girl and it seems like she's interested in making things work long term. Really give it some thought. Maybe it is something that could turn into a good thing. I know it's fast, I know it's depressing, but denial won't make it go away. That's all I got man. Prayers for the whole situation.

 

[Mad World]

It's too bad that that happened, but I truly do hope that you don't decide to go with an abortion.

I don't want to get into a big debate about abortion, but the baby does not deserve to be killed because of another person's mistake.

It happened, and now this kid needs to be raised.

 

[PixieFace]

Be a man, not another deadbeat. The world's overflowing with deadbeats already.

/thread

My hero!

*applause*

 

[nitat]

I say ABORTION.

I'm also a romantic type and would like to have someday a child BUT ONLY WITH A RELIABLE WOMEN WHEN WANTED AND PREPARED.

Otherwise do a pregnancy and a DNA test if possible to check if it is your responsibility.

But seriously, use condoms(they aren't so expensive) the next time.

P.S.: Oh BTW, to those who say suck it up and abortion is wrong, I personally rather was aborted then to be born as a mistake just to live and see my role models(parents) being miserable because of me.

You may think I'm crazy but I stand by my words.

 

[Mechsoap]

thats evil of her, no really thats scary, i wouold be considering homocide if someoen forced me to change my life like that, still she could be a lone mom, if you want to, and move out of the town and maybe in 20 years go meet your kid

else i feel seruicly sorry for you, like i would pray for you

still, you f**cked up with not wearing rubber

 

[molester jester]

you sure it's your kid ?

 

[capin Rob]

I hear Italy is nice this time of year *wink wink*

 

[Doctor VonSexMachine]

Let me set a few things straight:

1. You take the pill for 21 days out of a 28 day cycle. You stop taking it for a week. So yeah, it's easy to forget to start up again, especially if you are stressed. That's why I get the once every 3 months shot and set up the next appointment right away. You won't forget that.

2. You can have period like bleeding when you are pregnant, in fact - it can keep going like clock work for the whole time. It's seen as a sign to check things out, but it happens. Want a stupid pop culture source if you don't believe that I've been around a lot of pregnant people? What about those women who have "surprise babies" you read about once and a while? They aren't all idiots, some of them just continue to bleed once a month for term.

You've learned you lesson about not using barrier protection. It's not just for pregnancy, it's for disease such as HPV which most dudes don't show symptoms of. You could be passing it on without knowing.

I hope she's just messed up and faking it, and even better that she is knocked up it's not yours. But if worst comes to worse, don't stay together for the kid. I come from parents that divorced when I was too young to really remember and I have a good relationship with both despite one living quite far away. They are both part of my life and both nice to each other, but are not together. I turned out just fine and feel like both my parents care about me. If they did stay together I'm sure my childhood would have been much more turbulent.

Good luck.

ETA:

(To anyone else- Don't have sex with someone unless and until you've had a serious conversation about what you'd do if there were consequences. And don't give any "hopeless romantic" "spontaneous" "heat of passion" excuses, either; it's bullshit, and it won't protect you in any way. Sex is an adult decision, and this is part of the reason why. If you're not willing to talk for whatever half-assed reason you devise, wait until you grow UP.)

<3 Dude's got it right.

 

[Kemea]

Hey dude, first off. Yeah you pretty much fucked up if you are too unstable for a kid. Anyways, you did her TWICE.....allright, so two chances you could have had SAFE sex . Oh and yea, this is what life means, you do something stupid, you get slapped in the face by it. I really hope for you that this girl is completely bonkers about you, that she desperatly is in love with you. If so, go do something about yourself, and be there for her. Obviously she was great for sex, now as mentioned before: grow a pair and take responsibility. And no, I don't feel sorry for you or anything. You CAN blame her for the fact that she "forgot" her pillz for one week, but the real doing was your mojo....

Oh yea, as many have mentioned. Diz iz a gaming forum! However it is in Off-topic.....hmm... Well, still....grab some psychology forum or whatever

Oh and another thing, you mentioned you are SEVERELY depressed. Well, let me tell you know, you won't have any time for that when the baby is around. And I really hope that the baby will come, and that you will make up to that girl, or atleast talk shit out, and take good care for the kid. He/she didn't ask for a mistake

Good luck dude, and hopefully you'll let us know if the baby will come or not