Dear Escapist, I F*cked up.

[Om Nom Nom]

Get a doctor to explain to you exactly what "forgetting" contraceptives for a week would do to a woman, and how long it would be before she could become pregnant. Also ask what it would do if she were to continue taking them after becoming pregnant in that time.

When in court, have your defence ask her how long before she became pregnant did she forget to take her pill. If it's more time than it would take for any obvious signs to tell her she had forgotten, bring the doctor in to explain exactly what she would have gone through in the time that she had "forgotten" to take her pill. Let your defence take care of the rest, but be sure to press the point that she would have had a lot of warning that she had forgotten, and thus had decided not to continue to take the contraceptives and had tricked you.

FALCON (legal process) PUNCH.

If she had forgotten before the effects of the contraceptives could have worn off, testify that you are not the father and need to have a DNA test done.

If she timed it perfectly... well, then you're effectively screwed. Disappearing is your best bet, if raising the kid or paying up is out of the question.

 

[ItsAChiaotzu]

Wow, I love you, you just made me feel good about my life.

... I am in shock.

In all seriousness, thats one of the worst things I could ever imagine happenening, you have my sincerest sympathy.

Let me set a few things straight:

I turned out just fine and feel like both my parents care about me. If they did stay together I'm sure my childhood would have been much more turbulent.

Good luck.

Yeah man, Doctor VonSexMachine turned out just fine.

I kid.

 

[Doctor VonSexMachine]

Have you caught STDs or something? Obviously they aren't the issue here, so just wondering why you would bring that up unprovoked...

They aren't? Did you check? Dumb ass...

Err...no, they aren't. I only read the original post, so if he mentioned something later, then sorry, but otherwise, he never mentioned STDs. So just because you were probably preached to about the "dangers of sex" as a kid constantly, doesn't mean you need to pass on that stupid viewpoint.

I'm not saying that getting regular check-ups is a bad idea, but saying, "you probably got an STD for having sex once and you're wife might die" is pretty asinine.

Just because they didn't mention STDs doesn't mean it's not an issue. Too many youth simply forget it's a problem. I think his post was very useful in the sense that it might get people thinking about why safer sex is important for more that just the issue of pregnancy. This thread has exploded...it's not just about the OP anymore.

And "the dangers of sex" aren't a stupid view point. Sex is serious business, and you owe it to your partners to be as safe as you can. It's this immature approach to sex that leads to problems. I don't care how many people someone is fucking, so long as it is safe, sane and consensual.

 

[Sharps92]

Give her a book that is poorly written, poorly plotted, and with weak characters. BUT it contains a REAL unicorn. All will become clear

 

[xXAsherahXx]

One good thing is you're almost done with school (unless you already are). There are some good paying jobs that pay enough to sustain a family. You also have your parents' help with costs of a baby. So i guess you both could stay with your parents until after you both get a diploma and an apartment can be afforded, then she gets a job when the kid is old enough, and take it from there.

 

[Caurus]

Now, I've never been the most attractive guy, but I've always been sort of a hopeless romantic, looking for that one girl that'll love me more than anything. Well, a few months ago, I thought I had found her, albeit she was a friends girlfriend at the time (something I'd rather not get into), and after a few weeks of late-night texting and hanging out after school, we became close. Really close. So close that one day, when her parents were gone, she took me up to her room, and boots were a'knockin.

Now, I realize that situation in itself was a mistake, I mean, we weren't even a couple yet, and we had already had sex. We went waaaaay too fast,something I never plan on doing again. She had told me on the pill (PEELZ!), and I trusted her, I had no reason not to, right? She said she loved me (a real first for me) and I was completely sure she was telling the truth.

Turns out, that time she was, but a week after we slept together the second time, she texted me and told me she had "forgotten" to take her pills for roughly a week. And after asking a few of my friends that are girls, they said that just doesn't happen, you don't just forget to take your pills for a week.

My initial thought after that was "Oh...FUCK." Which is to be expected. of course. And the kicker is, a few weeks after she told me that, her period was late, which scared me shitless. But she got her period, so I thought we were okay. Fast forward a few weeks, and it turns out she's a about a dozen weeks pregnant, most likely by me and the time we had sex when she "forgot" to take her pills.

I'm scared out of my mind, and I don't know what the hell to do. We aren't together anymore, but she wants us to be a couple still. I don't know, I just don't know at all, I have this incredible feeling that she lied to me and did it on purpose. The fact that I recently realized I'm severely, and I mean SEVERELY, depressed isn't helping my situation at all. I don't want this kid, but she refuses to abort or adopt, so I'm at a loss. I want to just ignore it, but I know that's not an option, and I'm completely willing to pay child support. I'm just so lost, confused, and scared I don't know what to do. I'm not asking for your help, friends, I just wanted to let you know what position I'm in right now.

And yes, our parents know, everybody in our school knows (I HATE small towns) and I go away to college in a year. I don't want to hear your lectures, but I know I'm gonna get them anyway. So bring it on. I love you guys/girls.

The fact that you are pushing all the responsibility on her is pretty warped. AGREED She should have taken her pills but that's not really the problem any more is it?

Hmmm rant over. Forget about the pills, be her friend see where things go. She probably needs your support emotionally and financially. No need to be scared of the situation just be you. She obviously likes you so you know you can't lose.
Its new(having a kid) but being part of it will be awesome. Ignore people telling you your life is over too. If you work hard you can achieve whatever you want kids or no kids.

 

[xXAsherahXx]

Why are you posting this if you don't want help, or lectures. I find it kind of weird.

 

[capin Rob]

Get enough money to but a plane ticket, leave the rest for her, go to __________ and live life anew. And become celibate

 

[Plazmatic]

Let me set a few things straight:

(To anyone else- Don't have sex with someone unless and until you've had a serious conversation about what you'd do if there were consequences. And don't give any "hopeless romantic" "spontaneous" "heat of passion" excuses, either; it's bullshit, and it won't protect you in any way. Sex is an adult decision, and this is part of the reason why. If you're not willing to talk for whatever half-assed reason you devise, wait until you grow UP.)

<3 Dude's got it right.

that dudes wrong, sex can be a "Adult decision" but thats only if you want a baby. Sex can be recreational , usually is (its been that way for, oh, about 150.000 years), and we are not the only animals to do it this way. This man did nothing wrong, and if this did really happen, its the girls fault. If one person doesn't want a baby, you have no right to trick them to make one.

 

[antipunt]

Ouch, that sucks man.

My only advice would be to confront her about this, if you haven't already. I mean, what the -hell- is she trying to do, ya kno?

 

[koriantor]

Whether it was your intention or not, it was your choice. Now it's no longer about you, it's about your kid. There's no easy way out. Prepare for taking care of the child and do your best at raising her.

What she did, if she really did it, was wrong. She shouldn't have done it, but as much as you might not like it, things aren't about you or her anymore. Your kid is what's important right now.

And always remember, in the end, it'll be ok.

 

[Kortney]

The moral of the story? Messing about with your friends ex/girlfriend is bound to cause a lot of grief.

Let me set a few things straight:

1. You take the pill for 21 days out of a 28 day cycle. You stop taking it for a week. So yeah, it's easy to forget to start up again, especially if you are stressed.

True. True. True. True.

Whilst there is a possibility the OP has been played, it's not out of the picture that she did simply forget. Don't just assume she's lying. Good luck raising this little baby without even trusting the mother.

 

[Doctor VonSexMachine]

that dudes wrong, sex can be a "Adult decision" but thats only if you want a baby. Sex can be recreational , usually is (its been that way for, oh, about 150.000 years), and we are not the only animals to do it this way. This man did nothing wrong, and if this did really happen, its the girls fault. If one person doesn't want a baby, you have no right to trick them to make one.

WOAH. The adult decision is to talk about birth control rather then just assume it's taken care of. Sure, sex can be recreational, but wouldn't you rather have fun knowing you did all you could short of not having sex to avoid pregnancy or disease? Or would you rather go into it blind and worry about the consequences when sex is over?

For the record, I don't see anything wrong with sex outside of a relationship - I've done it. But I would never have sex with someone I didn't know well and had talked about the risks with without being up to date with hormonal birth control and using a condom. *And* I get my self checked out between partners, and certainly request the same of him if we decide to stop using condoms. Welcome to being a responsible partner.

 

[Yoshi-Pop]

She got her period, and then turned up preggers anyway? Sounds like utter bullshit to me. I'm pretty sure human anatomy doesn't work that way. She may just be lying about being knocked up for the attention. Lying about being with child seems to be all the range in my local crazy teenage compulsive liar community, and she did you while she was dating your mate, so honesty probably isn't what's in her care cup, so she may well fit that description. And if she really IS pregnant, but you haven't had sex with her since said period, then it ain't yours homey. You need to roll up some Maury Povich shit up in this piece, okay?

Edit: BTW, if she really is lying, expect another lie about miscarriage right about the same time she would normally be showing. Have fun.

 

[AngryFrenchCanadian]

Well, I guess the best we can do is wish you the best of luck. I hope it won't go down too badly from there. Nobody wants to get in that kind of situation.

 

[Paddin]

(To anyone else- Don't have sex with someone unless and until you've had a serious conversation about what you'd do if there were consequences. And don't give any "hopeless romantic" "spontaneous" "heat of passion" excuses, either; it's bullshit, and it won't protect you in any way. Sex is an adult decision, and this is part of the reason why. If you're not willing to talk for whatever half-assed reason you devise, wait until you grow UP.)

Erm, I disagree with this, not in the "sex is a big thing" way, but the "dont have sex unless youve had a talk with them" thing, it's not very practical. Sex is a primal human instinct, specifically for pleasure. Having the talk about babies with a girlfriend of, say, 1 month, maybe less, is going to scare them away from something thats meant to be enjoyed. I'm not saying that you should throw fate to the wind and hope for the best, but if planned properly the risk of getting someone pregnant can be virtually non-existant. Sex is meant to be enjoyed, not weighed down with worry and threat.

 

[neilsaccount]

so she "forgot" to take the pill? I think she might have forced you into this man

 

[nipsen]

..moral of the story: don't talk about your personal life on the internet.

Sounds like a really great situation to be in, though.. Being the nice guy, ending up in a situation where you feel as if you were being egotistical for once, then having someone else latch on to the guilt with a harpoon. Always really fun, that. Best advice, I guess - make your situation clear, seek out any counsel with the girl, make your intentions clear, go to school next year.