Dear Escapist, I F*cked up.

[ronodar]

My advice: Run. Pick a direction and just go. Run you fool! Dont look back! HAUL ASS!!

Okay joking aside, get a good lawyer fast. The lawyer can help with the child support agreement or prenup (which ever path you choose). If you go with child support, actually pay it and get the kid stuff for its bithday, holidays, or even a 'thinking of you'. You want the kid to like you even if you arent around. You dont want to be hated and called 'sperm donor' by your progeny. If the chick that you made the mistake with shows tell tale signs of crazy, get child services involved or fight for custody of it(legal system type fight, not fist fight(that would be a new level of messed up fist fighting a crazy woman who just gave birth))

Final choice is yours, and yours alone. Though seriously, get a lawyer. Fast. Like now.

 

[Generic_Dave]

Hey, it ain't the end of the world dude. I don't mean to seem like I'm making light of the situation. But there are ways forward. I have a friend, who got into a similar situation a about 5/6 years ago. She and the bloke stayed together for a few years, it didn't work out and now they've split. He still spends time with the kid, helps her out about the house, with cash sometimes. She's back in college at the minute and working and he works full-time, but you have to remember that what's coming is going to be really tough, but if you stick with it (and neither of you are too crazy) it will work out, even if you don't end up married with a nuclear family someday. Don't do anything stupid, don't marry her just because (I know its 2010, but this still happens), don't leave her just because, and don't let your depression get to you.

On the depression, I'm guessing from the "away to college" in a year you about 17? Maybe even 16? Trust me dude, depression is the default setting at that age. It was mine anyway. If you really feel it getting to you, you could always try a support forum, they have them for everything, failing that there's surely some kind of local counselling you could go to, there's no shame in talking, especially about real problems.

Just stick around, support her and remember women are all crazy so whenever she does crazy things, just try and brush it off and get on with things.

I hope it all works out dude.

 

[Slayer_2]

Honestly, I'd tell this girl to abort or adopt, or you aren't paying child support. I doubt she forgot to take her pills for a week. She sounds like she's playing you.

 

[Reaper69lol]

Like Pvt Hudson once said " Game Over man! Game Over!"

 

[Snor]

wow that sucks...makes the money for that condom totally worth it doesnt it....

i know i would freak out... and run...to asia...

 

[Somespeed]

You got one of two options. Either you Jedi mind trick her to get an abortion, or you give her the common Falcon Punch Abortion.

I got my ex-gf pregnant while we were together, but she was well clever enough to get an abortion. Good lass

 

[Samurai Goomba]

Well, I'm not going to seem very original now that everyone else has said the same thing, but here's the steps you should take:

1. Never ever not use a condom again, and never take a girl at her word when it comes to birth control. This is just damage prevention for next time.

2. Make her take a pregnancy test. By which I mean paternity test. Or both. Find out whether you're really the father or whether she's lying. Something seems fishy about this whole thing.

3. Sit her down and have a frank talk with her about how you're feeling, and how what she did made you feel. It sounds to me like she's manipulating you anyway. Odds are she can't have an honest talk with you without giving up some sort of tell through her behavior which will indicate her lack of honesty.

4. Suggest adoption, but the kind where the birth parents stay in touch with the child. You might have less of a problem being sort of a kindly uncle to some kid than a true father figure. Remember, don't punish the kid for any of this-he or she will be innocent.

5. Decide for certain how you feel about this girl. If you can't see yourself spending a lifetime with her eventually, then don't rush into any commitments. One should never, EVER get married JUST because he or she had a kid. That is a HORRIBLE reason to get married or live with somebody.

 

[SovietSecrets]

Abortion or welcome to manhood. Of course theres always the option of taking no responsibility, but you don't want to be a ***** now do you?

 

[RyanBishop]

Massive Lulz at the Russia part... With you guys saying that, imagine me sitting in Moscow, thinking of myself in such a situation... where am I to run, huh? =))))

OT: Sucks big time. That's why humanity invented a rubber bag for your bratwurst =P.
To summarize the situation the following comes to mind: "Whack for ma daddy-o, there's whiskey in the jar-oh!"

 

[Liberaliter]

Make sure it's yours first, you don't want to be caring for some other guys kid.

Also try convince her to abort it, failing that look after your damn kid. It's your own fault that you got a girl pregnant so you have to deal with the aftermath. Sure she may have acted like a bit of a *****, but you had unprotected sex.

 

[likalaruku]

Pills. I don't like them because they can cause fatal blood clotting in women who's families have a history of heart problems. Your grama ever had a heart attack or stroke? Then don't take pills.

A true romantic would use a condom & advice his lady not to risk death for a few minutes of fun. %Then again, this girl sounds like she's loose, easy, & not in it for the romance.

Well, get DNA testing. & if she doesn't want the baby, you can put it up for addoption or sell it to an infirtile couple. If you're both under 18, neither of you legally get a say in what happens.

 

[Mandal0re]

No condoms=no sex dude.

Also you seen watchmen? What the Comedian does when girls he has impregnated piss him off? Ye that....

 

[Mighty Lighty]

How old are you and do you have a stable job



P.S wow you`re quiite screwed aren`t you

 

[bluepilot]

Now, I've never been the most attractive guy, but I've always been sort of a hopeless romantic, looking for that one girl that'll love me more than anything. Well, a few months ago, I thought I had found her, albeit she was a friends girlfriend at the time (something I'd rather not get into), and after a few weeks of late-night texting and hanging out after school, we became close. Really close. So close that one day, when her parents were gone, she took me up to her room, and boots were a'knockin.

Now, I realize that situation in itself was a mistake, I mean, we weren't even a couple yet, and we had already had sex. We went waaaaay too fast,something I never plan on doing again. She had told me on the pill (PEELZ!), and I trusted her, I had no reason not to, right? She said she loved me (a real first for me) and I was completely sure she was telling the truth.

Turns out, that time she was, but a week after we slept together the second time, she texted me and told me she had "forgotten" to take her pills for roughly a week. And after asking a few of my friends that are girls, they said that just doesn't happen, you don't just forget to take your pills for a week.

My initial thought after that was "Oh...FUCK." Which is to be expected. of course. And the kicker is, a few weeks after she told me that, her period was late, which scared me shitless. But she got her period, so I thought we were okay. Fast forward a few weeks, and it turns out she's a about a dozen weeks pregnant, most likely by me and the time we had sex when she "forgot" to take her pills.

I'm scared out of my mind, and I don't know what the hell to do. We aren't together anymore, but she wants us to be a couple still. I don't know, I just don't know at all, I have this incredible feeling that she lied to me and did it on purpose. The fact that I recently realized I'm severely, and I mean SEVERELY, depressed isn't helping my situation at all. I don't want this kid, but she refuses to abort or adopt, so I'm at a loss. I want to just ignore it, but I know that's not an option, and I'm completely willing to pay child support. I'm just so lost, confused, and scared I don't know what to do. I'm not asking for your help, friends, I just wanted to let you know what position I'm in right now.

And yes, our parents know, everybody in our school knows (I HATE small towns) and I go away to college in a year. I don't want to hear your lectures, but I know I'm gonna get them anyway. So bring it on. I love you guys/girls.

Tl;Dr? Fuck off, this is a real problem.

EDIT: For godsakes, I've talked to a countless number of people before this. I just decided to post this on here because I felt like it.

EDIT2: My friend and the girl had broken up beforehand, before we ever hooked up.

I am not trying to insult the lady, but she seems to be a lady of a `alternative` morality and a have doubts that you could be the only possible candidate for father.

I read through your post, and the maths seems a little off. I think she was pregnant before you had sex

You have the right to request a paternity test, especially if she demands maintence. I suugest that you first confirm that the baby IS yours, then move from there.@

I cannot help but says it but, always always always use a condom. The pill is only as reliable as the woman who takes it. Even if the woman lies about taking the pill and gets pregnant, although her actions were morally wrong, they do not relieve you of any responsibilty.

 

[Lemon Of Life]

How old are you? Sorry about the whole situation, make sure it's your child, and if it is, don't make it suffer for your mistake.

 

[ParkourMcGhee]

Dear Escapist, I F*cked up

Jesus christ I thought you'd gone and killed a bloke.

Don't worry mate, life goes on . As most people advise story sounds fishy and ask for pregnancy/dna test.

If it actually is yours, congratulations . But in all seriousness, if it is, you have a kid that you should prioritise for now. If not, sit back, buy yourself some ice tea and chill for a day.

I just started thinking about what if this had happened to me. I'm at uni, and I'm not sure if I want kids. Definitely know I'm not ready for them financially... but I genuenly don't know what I would do.

2 options are: become a loving father, and go apeshit and join the marines XD

 

[LloydEsaka]

For one, being a "hopeless romantic" doesn't excuse being a dumbass (a word to this degree is appropriate) so don't put it in there in a way that makes it sound like an excuse. Sure, she lied, but its your fault, consentual sex takes two WILLING parties. I say get a DNA test, hope its your buddies, whom you betrayed (which erases any and all sympathy you would have deserved) and if its yours have fun raising it.

EDIT: erm...missed the bit on how your buddy and the lady had broken up....sorry about that. You have my sympathies then (to the extent she lied and no further)

 

[Ekonk]

Wow, dear christ. She didn't take the pill on purpose? That's rather... disturbing.

And I hate to say it to you, but: should've used a rubber, man! And I haven't got a clue what you should do next.