Deciding not to have children (socially unacceptable?)

[Bat Vader]

Isn't Japan in a bit of a population crisis?

 

[E-mantheseeker]

Wow, after dealing with the idiots that infest most of the topics on here dealing with children and parenting, I have to say--it's refreshing and encouraging to see so many people with their head on straight when it comes to reproductive issues.

The only bad part as others have pointed out is that while we're all being responsible and thoughtful about our decisions, those idiots are out there breeding away.

Still though, it's nice to see so many people thinking of children as human beings here for their own sake and not as accessories that parents have some sort of right to own. I think that's why "the notion of never having children seem so unacceptable to the general public": you're asking them to confront the question of whether they *should* be parents, when all they ever ask is if they *want* to be parents. The idea of having to justify the decision to be a parent is very threatening to a lot of people: perversely, the very people who shouldn't be parents in the first place.

You are absolutely correct, nobody really asks, "Should I have a child?" or "Do you think you should have children?" It's usually about "When" they want children, as if deciding to create another human being and raising them properly is the same as deciding to buy a large television. There's a lot of responsibility in deciding to have a child, and I feel there's also a great deal of responsibility in the choice not to have any, not a lack thereof.

 

[DarkRyter]

Don't worry, it's perfectly fine to hate the idea of having kids.

Having no kids at all is always better than having kids you don't want.

 

[Laura.]

Having no kids at all is always better than having kids you don't want.

Couldn't agree more!

I don't know if I'll want children someday so I try to remain open minded. Who knows what will happen in a few years... :3

 

[grimsprice]

i can relate more than most people in this discussion. im 19.... 20 in december and i've come to the same conclusion logically. this is a terrible world... its getting overpopulated and poluted. i dont want to put any child through this. shit is going to hit the fan in a few decades and thats not the right place for kids. im not that cruel.

but i do totally agree that women want kids WAY more often. i mean there was this girl in highschool and everyone called us the ''unofficial twins''. she and i agreed about EVERYTHING. we often said the same thing is the same situation and i lost track of how many times we jinxed each other. but oddly she wants 5 kids and i want none.

oh and if our species is going to survive we seriously need to stop having more than 1 or 2 kids per family.

 

[seidlet]

But then why isn't the 19 year old who says they *want* kids not also greeted with "surprise and unbelief"? So that can't be it.

we are. when i started trying for a child after my wedding at age 20, i got more than my share of public scorn. i also want a large family, and in the atheist-socialist circles i run in, this is seriously frowned upon. in short, no matter what you want, someone else is going to ***** about it.

oh and if our species is going to survive we seriously need to stop having more than 1 or 2 kids per family.

we need to get reproductive education and birth control to the developing world - we can clearly see that people will manage their own fertility when given the proper resources - the first world is actually underpopulated.

 

[DavisJ3608]

Yeah, I've kinda come to the same decision, but not for the same reasons. I don't have a problem with bringing kids into this world, and I think I would be a pretty good dad (obviously, not having actual kids, I don't know for sure), but I simply don't see kids in my future. It's not something I thought out or came to a decision about, I just don't think it's going to happen. Of course, I could be completely wrong, and I'll meet a beautiful woman that wants to have tons and tons of kids and we'll use them to take over the world or something, but still...

 

[Borrowed Time]

You don't want kids? Great! or if you change your mind. You do want kids? Great! It truly makes no difference. Part of why a lot of people do want kids is this idea that they're passing something of themselves on down into the future. :shrug: It's actually a pretty selfish and egotistical way of looking at it really. You won't be remembered for having kids or not having kids most likely. Then again, with out any kids, you may not even be remembered at all.

Then again what does that matter either, eh? Everyone's just a crapstain on this planet right? /sarcasm

I personally have a bit more meaning to my life (not saying you don't, but from the attitude a lot of people here on the escapist forums seem to have, there's no meaning to anything so why care?) but that's my business.

I'm happy with myself, love my wife and kids, and love my life. Sure I've got problems, not only physically but day to day issues in life, but they're what make me a better person. The conundrums my kids get themselves into are part of that, and it's quite an incredible thing being able to help mold and shape them into constructive members of society. (or gaming nerds that sit around playing games all day :cough

Oh the Power!

 

[faselei]

quote="Internet Kraken" post="18.124484.2565074"]

I HATE CHILDREN.

But there's a gap between being a child and getting to the stage where you feel you might some of your own when kids are just an annoying irrelevance. That's just the way it goes.

Sorry, I wasn't clear. I have a grudge against children. I have bad childhood memories, and everytime I see a child of elementary school age my gut wrenches a little.

Your holding a grudge against small children?[/quote]

Wouldn't you want to give your child a better childhood than you had? Experiencing its childhood from your perspective?

 

[Shock and Awe]

Well, I dont really know, I suppose because its against "tradition"

Personally I want to have a family later in life, why? Dont really know, I love kids(well at least the ones related to me) and most likely whoever I marry will want them.

 

[Shock and Awe]

I HATE CHILDREN.

But there's a gap between being a child and getting to the stage where you feel you might some of your own when kids are just an annoying irrelevance. That's just the way it goes.

Sorry, I wasn't clear. I have a grudge against children. I have bad childhood memories, and everytime I see a child of elementary school age my gut wrenches a little.

To be honest, it sounds like jealousy, they have what you didn't so you resent them, that is not exactly fair t them now is it?