A few points.
First, I have never found myself in a relationship by actively looking for one. I don't know if this is generally true but I find that "sweaty desperation" phase after a breakup (which tends to come 2 - 3 months after said breakup, the period in which I remember that video games books and movies are awesome) is sufficient for little more than the cheapest of relationships.
When I have managed to land a girlfriend, it has never been the result of a clever pickup line or a particular attitude or anything else, but rather the natural result of our interaction. My current girlfriend was the result of making a comment in passing about another person at a party (who was acting like a drunken douchebag, probably as a result of actively participating in drunken douchebaggery). That sparked a conversation that we decided to continue in greater detail.
I know plenty of women who like jerks, but even if it might seem at times that the majority of women like jerks I simply reason that if I have found a half-dozen women who like me (and I am a geek and somewhat lacking in jerk related skills) then it seems reasonable that there are plenty of women who are looking for a guy like me.
In my slightly longer than average experience for this place I have learned a few useful things. The first of which is simply that looks, strictly speaking, do not matter. Yes, you need to be able to be physically attracted to the person if you want a relationship to weather the long haul but keep in mind that physical attraction does not need to equate to "supermodel". The simple facts of the matter are that the portion of the female population that fits into the "idealized woman" category (in terms of appearance) is incredibly small. The second is that there is no single way to get into a relationship. Women, biological differences aside, are just people. Just strike up a conversation with them as one would with a male. People who think they've found a magic way to do so probably end up in long strings of unfulfilling relationships with people they would be better off not knowing in the first place. And, finally, the most important thing in a relationship, as far as I'm concerned, is how well I get along with the person in everyday life. It doesn't matter how beautiful the person is or how sexually proficient they are, if you can't stand being around them with their clothes on in public, you're better served moving on. The bottom line is that a girlfriend has the word "friend" in the title for a reason. If you're just hanging out with them because they're hot, you're doing it wrong.
First, I have never found myself in a relationship by actively looking for one. I don't know if this is generally true but I find that "sweaty desperation" phase after a breakup (which tends to come 2 - 3 months after said breakup, the period in which I remember that video games books and movies are awesome) is sufficient for little more than the cheapest of relationships.
When I have managed to land a girlfriend, it has never been the result of a clever pickup line or a particular attitude or anything else, but rather the natural result of our interaction. My current girlfriend was the result of making a comment in passing about another person at a party (who was acting like a drunken douchebag, probably as a result of actively participating in drunken douchebaggery). That sparked a conversation that we decided to continue in greater detail.
I know plenty of women who like jerks, but even if it might seem at times that the majority of women like jerks I simply reason that if I have found a half-dozen women who like me (and I am a geek and somewhat lacking in jerk related skills) then it seems reasonable that there are plenty of women who are looking for a guy like me.
In my slightly longer than average experience for this place I have learned a few useful things. The first of which is simply that looks, strictly speaking, do not matter. Yes, you need to be able to be physically attracted to the person if you want a relationship to weather the long haul but keep in mind that physical attraction does not need to equate to "supermodel". The simple facts of the matter are that the portion of the female population that fits into the "idealized woman" category (in terms of appearance) is incredibly small. The second is that there is no single way to get into a relationship. Women, biological differences aside, are just people. Just strike up a conversation with them as one would with a male. People who think they've found a magic way to do so probably end up in long strings of unfulfilling relationships with people they would be better off not knowing in the first place. And, finally, the most important thing in a relationship, as far as I'm concerned, is how well I get along with the person in everyday life. It doesn't matter how beautiful the person is or how sexually proficient they are, if you can't stand being around them with their clothes on in public, you're better served moving on. The bottom line is that a girlfriend has the word "friend" in the title for a reason. If you're just hanging out with them because they're hot, you're doing it wrong.
![Fr]anc[is](https://eg-forums-escapist-data.nyc3.digitaloceanspaces.com/data/avatars/l/93/93202.jpg?1620797781){kind=avatar}
