Do I deserve to be spat on for saying this to a gay person?
- Thread starter James Joseph Emerald
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Just to pick up on this, specifically the "nearly non-existent" point. Now I dunno where you're from, but it's not gone. Not anything like gone. I rarely go a day without hearing someone discriminate or use a sexuality as an insult or otherwise degrade the worth of homosexuals.burzummaniac said:
On topic: I'm in agreement with the Girl With One Eye (at least I think that's your screenname) here, I highly doubt that all your friend said was "here lads etc", though whatever he said the reaction was unjustified, but if he did say more than that or use a tone that was aggressive, I can understand why the guy was angry, because it does build up after a while, because often you have no opportunity to fight back, so when the chance comes, it's hard to resist. Oh, and yeah as for the media, fools will be fools. And haters gonna hate.
[img=http://www.hatersgoingtohate.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/haters-gonna-hate-eagle.jpg]
I can understand having a couple kiss is annoying, but I don't like how he asked them to stop, they could've moved.
However, being spat on breaks all rules. I hope they got owned.
However, being spat on breaks all rules. I hope they got owned.
well, i think that your friend was just a bit on the intolerant side of things. i mean, if he would do the same to a heterosexual couple, i guess it's alright, but still, i think instead he should have just moved to a different seat. now, i also think him getting spit on was unnecessary, and the guys could have either stopped, or said that they didn't think they were doing anything wrong, and if they wanted to, why should they stop, and make the suggestion that i made. both sides i believe are at fault, and it wasn't a hate crime.
If anyone ever spit on me, for any reason. The story would not be about a brawl, it would be about a murder, because anyone who spits on anyone else deserves to have their skull caved in.
That being said, your friend was totally reasonable, if anyone goes to something like a theatre to watch a movie, they should watch the fucking movie, not sit there and make out in front of everyone (at the very least, move to the back).
That being said, your friend was totally reasonable, if anyone goes to something like a theatre to watch a movie, they should watch the fucking movie, not sit there and make out in front of everyone (at the very least, move to the back).
Ive always found it to be a sense of reverse bigotry. For example, One of my best friends is gay, and in the normal sense of the word, not the flamboyant, Im shooting a pilot for bravo gay. Sometimes he will go off on a tear ranting about how unfair it is in the US how gays get treated, which I guess hes got a point, to which I wont argue it. However, when he gets like this, takes forever to get him to move on.
So one night hes ranting on legislation concerning gay marriage and gay rights saying its deplorable how in this day and age it isnt something that is a given. I had been trying to derail him getting him on any other topic for almost an hour, to which I finally got him off of it by bringing up the republic of Lakohta (the movement by american indians who are trying to reclaim soverignty over parts of 5 states in the upper midwest in order to support a population of less than 20 million.
So I asked, should the US go ahead and acknowledge the Republic of Lahkota? And his response was " NO! why should 95% of the population bow down just to accomodate 10% of the population? Obviously it was a loaded question on my part simply because I knew from what he had told me before that the percentage of gays in the US population is roughly 10-15%.
I am starting to think it is just human nature to disregard the validity of people who are not like you, and that being tolerant and accepting of other peoples ideas and beliefs goes against our nature and is something we have to work at in order to achieve.
So... Yes your friend was right to do what he did, and quite frankily the guys in the theater causing the obtrusive behavior had no real basis to cause trouble. I mean would it have been any different than if a couple of hetero teens were doing the same? What about a mother with a crying baby, what about someone who is getting a work phone call every 10 minutes?
I say the problem really isnt the people, its the concept of corralling humans into public places. Which begs the question, for a species that is supposedly so dependent on social connections, why do we want to cause so much trouble with the people we interact with?
So one night hes ranting on legislation concerning gay marriage and gay rights saying its deplorable how in this day and age it isnt something that is a given. I had been trying to derail him getting him on any other topic for almost an hour, to which I finally got him off of it by bringing up the republic of Lakohta (the movement by american indians who are trying to reclaim soverignty over parts of 5 states in the upper midwest in order to support a population of less than 20 million.
So I asked, should the US go ahead and acknowledge the Republic of Lahkota? And his response was " NO! why should 95% of the population bow down just to accomodate 10% of the population? Obviously it was a loaded question on my part simply because I knew from what he had told me before that the percentage of gays in the US population is roughly 10-15%.
I am starting to think it is just human nature to disregard the validity of people who are not like you, and that being tolerant and accepting of other peoples ideas and beliefs goes against our nature and is something we have to work at in order to achieve.
So... Yes your friend was right to do what he did, and quite frankily the guys in the theater causing the obtrusive behavior had no real basis to cause trouble. I mean would it have been any different than if a couple of hetero teens were doing the same? What about a mother with a crying baby, what about someone who is getting a work phone call every 10 minutes?
I say the problem really isnt the people, its the concept of corralling humans into public places. Which begs the question, for a species that is supposedly so dependent on social connections, why do we want to cause so much trouble with the people we interact with?
First off, I'd like to say that your friend was being reasonable in his request, I'd probably do the same. Secondly, it creeps me out too. I don't choose to be creeped out by it, I just am (and I do have gay friends who do it in public).
1. Openly gay and comfortable. They can still be one of the guys and as well as dating one.
2. Gay and uncomfortable. They're gay, one of the guys but scared to come out.
3. Openly gay and very, very proud. They're gay and they want everyone to know, the best way of course is to be as camp as possible.
I'm not saying these are the only types (in fact, it's wrong of me to categorize but I'm trying to get my point across here).
It's only type 3 I have an issue with. The ones that are so blatantly camp (to an extent where it's obviously forced) and who seem to go about like they have to prove a point. It seems like attention seeking (the 'look at me, I'm gay' thing you mentioned. I get it, you're gay, you're proud, but you can do that without hitting on every straight man you see. It's these people I've come across who don't care if they know you're straight, they'll hit on you all night long and if you say anything they'll turn it around and make you look like a wanker.
Still, making out in public (especially cinemas) is something I can't stand. Really kills the movie when the guy next to you has his tongue in someone's ear and all you can hear are slurps and giggles ¬_¬
Thirdly, let me express my opinion on this. I hate to generalize usually, but I've yet to be proven wrong (by personal experience) on this account. There are three types of gay men I've met:James Joseph Emerald said:
1. Openly gay and comfortable. They can still be one of the guys and as well as dating one.
2. Gay and uncomfortable. They're gay, one of the guys but scared to come out.
3. Openly gay and very, very proud. They're gay and they want everyone to know, the best way of course is to be as camp as possible.
I'm not saying these are the only types (in fact, it's wrong of me to categorize but I'm trying to get my point across here).
It's only type 3 I have an issue with. The ones that are so blatantly camp (to an extent where it's obviously forced) and who seem to go about like they have to prove a point. It seems like attention seeking (the 'look at me, I'm gay' thing you mentioned. I get it, you're gay, you're proud, but you can do that without hitting on every straight man you see. It's these people I've come across who don't care if they know you're straight, they'll hit on you all night long and if you say anything they'll turn it around and make you look like a wanker.
Still, making out in public (especially cinemas) is something I can't stand. Really kills the movie when the guy next to you has his tongue in someone's ear and all you can hear are slurps and giggles ¬_¬
your friend didn't deserve that in the least and I completely understand where your friend was coming from by asking them to sod off with the kissing. And I also think that its damn wrong that the papers put the hateful spin on it that they did.
I would have said the same thing to a straight couple. The gay guy was just being overly-defensive and rude, and obnoxious.
Anybody making out in front of you would be distracting, homosexual or not. If a homosexual were talking on a cell phone in the movie theater, would it be intolerant to ask him to stop?
I don't know if the guy in question reacted so strongly because he thought your friend was intolerant, but if that is what he thought then that was awfully over-sensitive of him. He sounds like a jerk regardless of sexual orientation.
I don't know if the guy in question reacted so strongly because he thought your friend was intolerant, but if that is what he thought then that was awfully over-sensitive of him. He sounds like a jerk regardless of sexual orientation.
I doubt your friend really asked them to stop in such a polite manner to get spat on, but i agree that the gay-guy was being dick for spitting in your friends face. Also, chances are they weren't the sharpest tools in the toolbox either if they get bored watching Inception. Not only do they sound like obnoxious pricks but stupid ones too.
I think what you should have done though is not said anything and moved seats in the cinema.
I think what you should have done though is not said anything and moved seats in the cinema.
What does me kissing someone take away from a movie? It's never disturbed me and I've nearly got kicked out after starting an argument over someone whispering during a movie.CJ1145 said:
If anyone does anything in a cinema besides watch the god damn movie I want them shot, whoever they are regardless of age, race, sex or sexuality. Don't talk on your phone, don't gab with your friends, don't tongue your significant other, don't bring children. Shit down and shut the hell up so I can watch the movie.
Laughing in a comedy is okay.
Shrieking in a horror is fine.
Beyond that... no.
Laughing in a comedy is okay.
Shrieking in a horror is fine.
Beyond that... no.
I think that your friend was just trying to be polite after ignoring them for a while, but I think the couple did overreact, ALOT!
Anyone making out in a theater is obnoxious. Your friend was completely justified in asking them to stop.
This really isnt anything to do with Homosexuality, if a hetrosexual couple were snogging and being distracting then i would have asked them to move, he was within his rights to do what he did, it really doesnt appear to have anything to do with homophobia
I guess the real question is whether he would have asked a straight couple to stop, if yes then no problem, but if no then he deserved it
They should have been sitting in the back row. Next movie I take my girlfriend too, we're sitting somewhere in the back. Not because I'm planning to make out the entire movie, but because... If you're attracted to somebody and going to be sitting in a dark room with them for several hours, you should just assume it's a possibility and try not to bother everyone else.
Your friend probably would have done the same thing if it had been a heterosexual couple. I can see how trying to watch a movie with that going on in front of you guys would be very distracting. The one guy who spat at you overreacted in the extreme, and is a perfect example of the sort of person who believes that "discrimination" equates to "ever telling me anything I don't want to hear." In other words, he sounds like an immature jerk regardless of sexuality. Obviously he felt entitled to spoil everyone's movie (everyone behind him, anyway), which is very rude.
If somebody approached me like your friend did, I would have either moved back several rows until I wasn't bothering anyone, or else stop making out.
Your friend probably would have done the same thing if it had been a heterosexual couple. I can see how trying to watch a movie with that going on in front of you guys would be very distracting. The one guy who spat at you overreacted in the extreme, and is a perfect example of the sort of person who believes that "discrimination" equates to "ever telling me anything I don't want to hear." In other words, he sounds like an immature jerk regardless of sexuality. Obviously he felt entitled to spoil everyone's movie (everyone behind him, anyway), which is very rude.
If somebody approached me like your friend did, I would have either moved back several rows until I wasn't bothering anyone, or else stop making out.