Do I deserve to be spat on for saying this to a gay person?

[X10J]

X2

They were just arseholes, playing a victim card of being gay to try and act the bollox with impunity.

You must have missed the part where the OP said that his friend probably wouldn't have done anything if it were a heterosexual couple and has himself probably done "far worse" in public with a girlfriend. I think the amount of people who are taking the OPs story blindly really says something about homophobic (and minority in general) prejudice in these boards. That so many people find this scenario likely is pretty telling.

I'm gonna go ahead and quote myself here...

He spat on your friend.

Repeat after me, everyone: All else is irrelevant.

Repeat after me, everyone: All else is irrelevant.

All else is irrelevant.

yes, for me, being spat on = being punched in the face. I'm probobly throwing fists after that.

 

[HolyMoogle]

i have kind of a similar story that did actually happen to me...

me and you seem to have the exact same opinion on gay people they are cool make good friends and are generally sound guys but i cant stand the ones that try and make a big deal aboutit...

anways storytime.

it was my girlfriends (at the time) birthday and since it was her night i said to her we could go anywhere she wanted it was just us some of her girl friends and her gay friend so she chose the gay club "for some grope free dancing and so her friend can pull" i said sure (although woulda been much happier if she chose the union or something, anyways when we get there we danced to some hefty choons and were having a great drunkin time, when someone grabbed me on the ass, i knew it wasnt my gfs, but thought it was her gay mate you know taking the piss having a laugh inding me up like he does, so i turn round and it was some pervy old man me drunk and not feeling happy about the whole thing (naturaly) i turned round and punched him in the face being dundee this esculated into quite a big fight, we managed to get out, i did feel really bad since it was my gfs birthday so i apologised for being a dick and overreacting like i did but then she started gettin angry because i am such a homophobe i pointed out that and her gay friend is like one of the soundest guys i kno and that see if that was a guy that groped her ass (that wasnt me) she wouldnt turn round and slap him? but apparently thats not the same thing =/

anyways yeah your mate had every right to tell them to stop making out i have been told numerous times in cinemas to stop making out with the girl im with... they fight for equal rights but then when they start gettin treated equally they complain about its bein homophobic? thats what annoys me most its the same with racism sexism etc etc its getting a bit rediculous especially in the UK

I'm sorry, but you really could not have been more wrong here. You were in a gay club, yes? Then you had no right to punch. Upset, sure, but no right at all to get violent. You deserved to have your girlfriend pissed at you, it is an incredibly homophobic thing to do.

Think of it like this: If you were in a "straight" club, would you punch a girl if she groped your ass? I'm hoping you'd say no to that, so by the same token it is completely wrong to punch a guy for groping your ass in a gay bar. You can obviously be upset and tell him to go away, but you have no right at all to get violent.

ok if it was a girl who came upto me and groped me on the ass whilst i was dancing with my girlfriend i wouldnt need to punch her because she woulda already been on the floor because of my girlfrend not me.

theres nothing homophobic about it im not gay i was at a club with my girlfriend in a dance that quite obviously showed that she either was my girlfriend or pretty damn close to it, the perv got whats coming to him he can look but he deffinately cant touch.

sorry i shoulda mentioned it was pretty obvious throughout our time there that i was no way gay as we were all over each other.

if i was homophobic andy definately woulda pointed it out

No, I'm sorry, you had absolutely no right to be violent. It is irrelevant what your girlfriend would have done in a straight bar, you are not your girlfriend. YOU would have not punched a girl in a straight bar, would you? Again, I'm assuming no, and you have no right to punch a gay person in a gay bar. Thinking violence is somehow an appropriate default reaction is an extremely dangerous way to be, there is a good reason she was pissed at you and told you you're homophobic, because fact is, right now, you are.

 

[Ziggy the wolf]

people suck...gay or straight black or white but people who act on their suckiness tend to suck even more

 

[ThePostalGamer]

He spat on your friend.

Repeat after me, everyone: All else is irrelevant.

Agreed.

While I'd disapprove of anybody making out in the cinema right in front of me if they were disturbing the movie, I'd ask them to stop as well, as your friend politely did. But if they spat on me then it'd be a whole different story. OP, you and your friend's actions were completely justified.

 

[Quak0r]

yes, for me, being spat on = being punched in the face. I'm probobly throwing fists after that.

regardless of sexual orientation. Equality.

The End.

 

[otterhead]

i have kind of a similar story that did actually happen to me...

me and you seem to have the exact same opinion on gay people they are cool make good friends and are generally sound guys but i cant stand the ones that try and make a big deal aboutit...

anways storytime.

it was my girlfriends (at the time) birthday and since it was her night i said to her we could go anywhere she wanted it was just us some of her girl friends and her gay friend so she chose the gay club "for some grope free dancing and so her friend can pull" i said sure (although woulda been much happier if she chose the union or something, anyways when we get there we danced to some hefty choons and were having a great drunkin time, when someone grabbed me on the ass, i knew it wasnt my gfs, but thought it was her gay mate you know taking the piss having a laugh inding me up like he does, so i turn round and it was some pervy old man me drunk and not feeling happy about the whole thing (naturaly) i turned round and punched him in the face being dundee this esculated into quite a big fight, we managed to get out, i did feel really bad since it was my gfs birthday so i apologised for being a dick and overreacting like i did but then she started gettin angry because i am such a homophobe i pointed out that and her gay friend is like one of the soundest guys i kno and that see if that was a guy that groped her ass (that wasnt me) she wouldnt turn round and slap him? but apparently thats not the same thing =/

anyways yeah your mate had every right to tell them to stop making out i have been told numerous times in cinemas to stop making out with the girl im with... they fight for equal rights but then when they start gettin treated equally they complain about its bein homophobic? thats what annoys me most its the same with racism sexism etc etc its getting a bit rediculous especially in the UK

I'm sorry, but you really could not have been more wrong here. You were in a gay club, yes? Then you had no right to punch. Upset, sure, but no right at all to get violent. You deserved to have your girlfriend pissed at you, it is an incredibly homophobic thing to do.

Think of it like this: If you were in a "straight" club, would you punch a girl if she groped your ass? I'm hoping you'd say no to that, so by the same token it is completely wrong to punch a guy for groping your ass in a gay bar. You can obviously be upset and tell him to go away, but you have no right at all to get violent.

ok if it was a girl who came upto me and groped me on the ass whilst i was dancing with my girlfriend i wouldnt need to punch her because she woulda already been on the floor because of my girlfrend not me.

theres nothing homophobic about it im not gay i was at a club with my girlfriend in a dance that quite obviously showed that she either was my girlfriend or pretty damn close to it, the perv got whats coming to him he can look but he deffinately cant touch.

sorry i shoulda mentioned it was pretty obvious throughout our time there that i was no way gay as we were all over each other.

if i was homophobic andy definately woulda pointed it out

You miss the point entirely mate. I'm gay and will happily dance (and I mean properly dance) with girls that I know. In a 'gay club' you are in an environment where nearly any sexual preference goes and where everyone is accepted. (That's why the LGBT flag is a rainbow).
The guy that pinched your @$$ might have thought you were Bi or may have just been playing. You should have either explained that you weren't gay, moved away or told him to f**k off (depending on drunkenness level).

Some of us are forced to go to gay clubs to escape from people like you. Gay people spend most of their early life (or more) carefully considering their actions in each environment/context they are in. You should have done the same in that club because you were in a place where certain behaviour is expected and where certain people go. Like you said, it ruined the evening for your girlfriend and that really sound gay guy she knows...

 

[otterhead]

Is that according to the gender roles which have been drummed into you all your life? I can see what you mean with a 'fair' fight or boxing match but in a brawl or fight to the death I think a bit of hair pulling might fit into the mix pretty well.

 

[Wardnath]

No, I'm sorry, you had absolutely no right to be violent. It is irrelevant what your girlfriend would have done in a straight bar, you are not your girlfriend. YOU would have not punched a girl in a straight bar, would you? Again, I'm assuming no, and you have no right to punch a gay person in a gay bar. Thinking violence is somehow an appropriate default reaction is an extremely dangerous way to be, there is a good reason she was pissed at you and told you you're homophobic, because fact is, right now, you are.

Would you kindly stop derailing, please?

 

[w-Jinksy]

over reaction much?

Really this is their fault for causing it by retaliating in such a vulgar way anyone with a shred of decency would have stopped either they had no manners or where those type of gays who think just because their gay they can do whatever and give other gay people a bad name.

 

[otterhead]

Is that according to the gender roles which have been drummed into you all your life? I can see what you mean with a 'fair' fight or boxing match but in a brawl or fight to the death I think a bit of hair pulling might fit into the mix pretty well.

Pulling hair shows weakness and doesn't actually accomplish anything; unless you think you can K.O a guy by pulling his hair.

Shows weakness? How exactly? I was thinking it would be a useful distraction to get the upper hand before then attempting a K.O. or something. I think it depends on what you are trying to accomplish.

Do you do a lot of fighting Lupus, and generally for what reason?

 

[Lullabye]

Is that according to the gender roles which have been drummed into you all your life? I can see what you mean with a 'fair' fight or boxing match but in a brawl or fight to the death I think a bit of hair pulling might fit into the mix pretty well.

Pulling hair shows weakness and doesn't actually accomplish anything; unless you think you can K.O a guy by pulling his hair.

Shows weakness? How exactly? I was thinking it would be a useful distraction to get the upper hand before then attempting a K.O. or something. I think it depends on what you are trying to accomplish.

Do you do a lot of fighting Lupus, and generally for what reason?

Isn't that why professional fighters cut their hair? Because anyone well versed in actual combat would know that having long hair is a major potential weakness? Only people who have never been in a serious fight think that "going for the weak spots shows weakness". Maybe if you were fighting for pride or something, then I could understand, but not in an honest fight.

 

[otterhead]

Is that according to the gender roles which have been drummed into you all your life? I can see what you mean with a 'fair' fight or boxing match but in a brawl or fight to the death I think a bit of hair pulling might fit into the mix pretty well.

Pulling hair shows weakness and doesn't actually accomplish anything; unless you think you can K.O a guy by pulling his hair.

Shows weakness? How exactly? I was thinking it would be a useful distraction to get the upper hand before then attempting a K.O. or something. I think it depends on what you are trying to accomplish.

Do you do a lot of fighting Lupus, and generally for what reason?

Isn't that why professional fighters cut their hair? Because anyone well versed in actual combat would know that having long hair is a major potential weakness? Only people who have never been in a serious fight think that "going for the weak spots shows weakness". Maybe if you were fighting for pride or something, then I could understand, but not in an honest fight.

I agree. It think very generally speaking when you see a skin head thug sort of person it might be for that reason also. Then again it might not.

 

[HolyMoogle]

No, I'm sorry, you had absolutely no right to be violent. It is irrelevant what your girlfriend would have done in a straight bar, you are not your girlfriend. YOU would have not punched a girl in a straight bar, would you? Again, I'm assuming no, and you have no right to punch a gay person in a gay bar. Thinking violence is somehow an appropriate default reaction is an extremely dangerous way to be, there is a good reason she was pissed at you and told you you're homophobic, because fact is, right now, you are.

Would you kindly stop derailing, please?

Giving my opinion on a pertinent story which emerged naturally along the flow of the topic is not derailing.

Anyway, I think the information given at this thread's halfway point by the OP pretty much answers his own question. Brawling, however, is never appropriate.

 

[Joe Matsuda]

so the theater was mostly empty

and they decided to make out in front of the guy trying to enjoy the film

yeah, I'd tell any pairing of people (man man, man woman, woman woman) to knock it off...its fucking Inception!!!

 

[Wardnath]

No, I'm sorry, you had absolutely no right to be violent. It is irrelevant what your girlfriend would have done in a straight bar, you are not your girlfriend. YOU would have not punched a girl in a straight bar, would you? Again, I'm assuming no, and you have no right to punch a gay person in a gay bar. Thinking violence is somehow an appropriate default reaction is an extremely dangerous way to be, there is a good reason she was pissed at you and told you you're homophobic, because fact is, right now, you are.

Would you kindly stop derailing, please?

Giving my opinion on a pertinent story which emerged naturally along the flow of the topic is not derailing.

Anyway, I think the information given at this thread's halfway point by the OP pretty much answers his own question. Brawling, however, is never appropriate.

Very well, then, I apologise. And I agree with you somewhat, that guy (not the guy in the OP) should've known better than to walk into a place like that.

 

[tsb247]

I'm not familiar with the laws in the UK, but here in the U.S., spitting on someone is considered battery if I'm not mistaken. If they really wanted to be dicks like that, I would file charges. Then again, I'm sure the charges would get tossed out seeing how the papers seem to have spun things.

They were in a movie. It's not asking much for them to be respectful of those around them. I don't think your friend deserved to be spat on, and it was not wrong for him to politely ask them to, "knock it off! We're trying to watch the movie!" or something like that...