Do you know ANYONE who has actually gone from gay to straight post-puberty?

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Mar 9, 2010
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AndyFromMonday said:
You're right, sexuality isn't a choice. However, that doesn't mean it can't change with time. If 10 years of 'pampering from mummy' can make you gay then 20 years of hearing your friends sexual conquests can do the opposite.[footnote]This may not be the best example, but it makes my point very clear so don't attack the example, only the point.[/footnote]

Sexuality is defined by a number of things, not just genetics. Yes, if the genes are there to make you a homosexual then chances are that you'll never change, no matter what happens. However, if your sexuality is defined by social or environmental factors then there is the possibility that they can change your sexuality later on too.

That said, the effects that your social environment can have on you at older ages is drastically reduced from your younger years. While the possibility is there, it is incredibly unlikely.

Consider it in the same way to the sword in the stone. The sword is set there for most, but for the next king it is free to take.[footnote]No, I'm not referring to heterosexuality as being kingly, don't be the asshole that assumes every interpretation is a correct interpretation.[/footnote]

OT: I don't know anyone, like I said it's unlikely that it'll happen. Then again, I am only 17 and have known only a few gay people. I would be surprised if the number reached 5, really.
 

Shia-Neko-Chan

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I've seen it happen. I used to know a person who did just that.

He just didn't like the male body anymore, apparently.
 

random_bars

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Azuaron said:
Still waiting to see AndyFromMonday's reply to this...

He probably won't, though. That generally seems to be what happens when someone who keeps insistently pushing their uninformed point of view gets thoroughly trounced by someone who actually knows what they're talking about.
 

Hansinkdu

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So here's the thing...

Had I saw this post 3 months ago I would have said no and that changing your sexual orientation is the individual's attempt at having a choice in their personal interests. But now my sister, who has been a lesbian throughout her entire life, has suddenly started liking this one guy, and they fallen in love with each other. Be it chemical reactions, or changing hormones that is what has transpired. She even told him she used to be a lesbian (not a bisexual, 100% only women) and he is fine with it.

They are both living happily together at the moment and have engaged in sexual activities together. I believe being attracted to a specific gender or both is not decided at birth or by preference, but by genuine endearment to those that one would feel the most sensitive and honest emotions for.
 

Jamesfox849

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When talking about anything related to humans, the point it this:
There is almost always going to be some kind of related, supposedly disproving incidental behavior, in this case going from one sexuality to the other, but this can be very easily explained by the simple fact of the diversity of every individuals body chemistry.

Shit has the possibility of happening, but won't for 99% of the population.
 

agentorange98

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I've always held the personal opinion that everyone is born bisexual but that isn't accepted by society so we can't accept it in ourselves, idk probably just me bein crazy
 

Drake the Dragonheart

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Me personally? No. A friend of mine however does know someone who was openly gay, and is now married, to a woman and has a family.
 

funguy2121

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The-Epicly-Named-Man said:
funguy2121 said:
If a person has found himself or herself (theirself?) attracted to both sexes during their lifetime, then that person is, to a degree that perhaps Kinsey or one of his contemporaries could articulate better than I, a bisexual person.
Themselves, I believe. Sorry, that's genuinely all I wanted to point out from your post.

Edit: Actually, f*ck, that doesn't fit the context. Sorry D: .
No worries. It just nags at me. "Themself" (or "themselves") is a particularly unweildy and crass sounding word. I was just trying to be funny about it.
 

Woodsey

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aashell13 said:
AndyFromMonday said:
The causes of homosexuality might be relatively unknown but what is known for sure, 100%, is that your sexual orientation is not a choice, it never has been a choice and trying to pass it off as a choice is just a way to further stigmatize the gay community. Your sexual orientation is NOT a choice, it's NOT a mental disorder and it can never, ever, EVER be changed.
you seem very sure of this. why?
Well, for not a choice and not a mental disorder: because no one would ever actively choose to be gay, and because its not classified as a mental disorder.
 

Malgan

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Heard a lot of people claiming it's a phase. Sort of annoys me, as I've never seen anyone actually turn from gay to straight. However, what might fog the statistics is the fact that some people are aware of theirs sexuality at such an early age, that they come out of the closet at 12-13 and then go back in, as they couldn't take the mockery from their classmates. I know atleast a couple where this is the case.

I turned from bisexual to gay though, don't know if that counts.
 

Robert Ewing

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Yes, I do know someone. He was a real player with the women in school. He got laid quite a lot. But after school, and half way through college, he'd thought he'd experiment with a guy. And he's never gone back since. He's completely infatuated with males now, he now looks at females the same way he looked at men back in school, completely without interest in them. It's really quite interesting to observe.

This probably fits your criteria.
 

iDoom46

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I don't know any, but I'd imagine that there are probably SOME people who at one point might have thought they were gay, but later on realized that they weren't.

...and for some reason that episode of American Dad where Stan tries to be gay comes to mind.
Other than that, I don't really see how plausible it'd be, since -you know- you're either born gay, or not, and all that.
 

Chasing-The-Light

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I don't know... maybe it's just me becoming bi. But I've been a lesbian for 6 years at least, and after a few certain instances I've begun to think that perhaps in certain situations I could be with a guy. *shrug* That's my only experience with such a thing.
 

funguy2121

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gamezombieghgh said:
funguy2121 said:
gamezombieghgh said:
AndyFromMonday said:
StrixMaxima said:
The issue here is not biological, for the most part, it is psychological.

And I know of a man who spent his early teens and adulthood as a gay man and shortly before 30 declared himself straight. He is currently married and has 2 children.

No, he didn't turn to religion or anything. He simply decided he would be happier a straight person, and stopped seeing men.

Did he really stop? Only he would know. But he's been steady with women for some time now. No angst, no internal dilemma. Simply his personal decision of changing his sexual outlook.

Do whatever makes you happy and fuck everyone else.
Are you saying we should all be bisexual?

*trollface.jpg*
He gave that to you. He said, here, have at it.
Are you trying to take away my satisfaction from the joke?
You HAD a sense of humor. Somewhere in there you lost it :p
 

sivlin

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AndyFromMonday said:
Scipio1770 said:
AndyFromMonday said:
OT: Your sexuality is set even before birth. You can't change that and hell, why would you want to? Do whatever makes you happy and fuck everyone else.
I think you're putting way too much emphasis on genetics in this, sexual and emotional behaviors are heavily influenced by social environment, education, hormonal balance, etc. the person's gnome is hardly the defining trait in determining sexuality.
Yes it is, especially when it comes to sexual attraction and to an extent even emotional attraction since emotional attraction is just another form of sexual attraction. If you're gay, you will always be gay. There's no going back. Society might pressure homosexuals into a relationship with the opposite gender but you will never be sexually attracted to a person of the opposite sex if you're gay. Education and hormones have no effect on a person's sexuality. If you're born gay, you will always be gay and I cannot stress this enough.
... We have no real idea what it is that makes someone gay or straight. To say that you are born gay is incorrect. We can't even say we are born straight. I'm assuming you are gay? If so, did you find yourself attracted to the same sex when you were a baby?

You grew up and developed as a person who found the same sex attractive. Whether that was because of social surroundings or because of some strand of DNA that hard-coded you to react that way - it doesn't really matter. I'm of the mind that EVERYTHING is a choice, and I believe the same in this case. There is no wrong answer, but everyone has full control. You choose who you are and that is the end of it.
Azuaron said:
AndyFromMonday said:
OT: Your sexuality is set even before birth. You can't change that and hell, why would you want to? Do whatever makes you happy and fuck everyone else.
AndyFromMonday said:
Your sexuality cannot be changed.
Scipio1770 said:
I think you're putting way too much emphasis on genetics in this, sexual and emotional behaviors are heavily influenced by social environment, education, hormonal balance, etc. the person's gnome is hardly the defining trait in determining sexuality.
StrixMaxima said:
Scipio up there summed up what I'd say quite well. The link between sexuality orientation and genetics/psychology is still full of gray zones, and I think it is a bit foolhardy to put all your chips into one or the other.

I've heard way too many stories to think this is simply a genetic issue. The society we live in interfere profoundly in all our behavioral actions.

And, I would never say that "If you are gay, you are gay" with such confidence, just as I'd never state that heterosexuality is etched in stone.

We need to accept we don't know as much as we think we do, when we are talking about the brain and its processes.
AndyFromMonday said:
If you're born gay, you will always be gay and I cannot stress this enough.
Okay... way too much misunderstanding about genetics' relationship to brain processes... As a psychologist, I will try to explain.

First, if homosexuality was purely genetic, gay people would need a "gay gene" somewhere up their family tree (or an unlikely random mutation), and, as far as anyone can tell, straight people are the ones who keep having children who turn out to be gay.

Secondly, sexual attraction is part of several complex brain processes. When children are very young, they go through cycles of rapid synaptic growth and rapid pruning, essentially completely rewiring their brains twice between 2 and 8. This is why no one can remember anything younger than 2 or 3 (and if they say they can, they either have false memories or they're lying). This synaptic growth and death is largely influenced by: nutrition, society, heavy metals (don't eat lead, kids!), family environment (delayed gratification is largely set by 6), and education. If memories can't survive, why do you think anything as complex as sexuality would? Especially since the synaptic pruning eliminates neural paths that aren't being used (and I don't know any four-year-olds who think about sex).

Thirdly, babies are never homosexual. Nor are they heterosexual. They are asexual. Children "discover" their sexuality during puberty. Anyone who claims sexual memories before puberty is reinterpreting nonsexual memories to have a sexual meaning later, lying, or was horribly abused as a child.

I know there's a lot of pressure to say that homosexuality is purely genetic and can't be changed because then you won't have religious crazies trying to "convert" gays to being straight, but the data doesn't back it up.

Now, I'm going to explain how schizophrenia works and make an analogy between homosexuality and schizophrenia not because I think homosexuality is some kind of sickness, but because they're both complex brain processes that affect a small proportion of the population and for which no "cure" (either chemical or behavioral) has been developed ("cure" is in quotes because homosexuals shouldn't need to be "cured", I just can't think of a more succinct word).

So:

Schizophrenia has a genetic component (if one identical twin develops schizophrenia, the other is likely to as well), but is not purely genetic (if one identical twin develops schizophrenia, the other does not necessarily develop schizophrenia as well).

There also appears to be some effect where if the mother gets the flu when she's pregnant, the child is more likely to develop schizophrenia. No one knows why.

Finally, schizophrenia usually develops at the tail end of/just after puberty, so many have hypothesized that the hormone rush of puberty changes their brain structure, triggering schizophrenia. However, the potential to develop schizophrenia must already be there, and is likely a result of some combination of the following: genetics, heavy metals, nutrition, and culture (more important than you think... catatonic schizophrenia has been very prevalent in some cultures, but is almost unheard of in others).

To compare...

With homosexuality, there is a genetic component, but it's not purely genetic (a homosexual twin does not necessarily have a homosexual sibling, which blows your "purely genetic, born gay" hypotheses out of the water).

I doubt influenza in utero has influence on homosexuality. I mentioned it because no one knows why it affects a person's likelihood to develop schizophrenia. Homosexuality's in a similar boat in a lot of ways: no one knows the specific mechanisms that cause it to develop.

Finally, homosexuality (all sexuality, really) tends to develop during puberty, which means it's highly likely to be influenced by raging hormones, which can be influenced by (again): genetics, heavy metals, nutrition, culture, family environment, and their peers.

See, the problem with not understanding the basic mechanisms of how something develops means you can't really rule anything out. You can, however, rule out certain things being purely the cause. You can also show that certain things do have some effect. For instance, twin studies (for both schizophrenia and homosexuality) have shown that genetics have some effect, but are not the sole determining factor.

In conclusion: sexuality is not (purely) determined by genes; don't strongly assert ideas you don't fully understand.
I like this person. He wrote a much better version of what I was thinking. +1.
 

BlueMage

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This thread confirms less "everyone's different lol" and more "everyone's fucked up AND opinionated"
 

JoesshittyOs

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AndyFromMonday said:
OT: Your sexuality is set even before birth. You can't change that and hell, why would you want to? Do whatever makes you happy and fuck everyone else.
To let you in on a little secret, that "people being born gay" is a little bit more for the ignorant crazy fundamentalist types who don't think men and woman should be able to choose who they love.

It really isn't set in stone what sexuality you'll like. It's also the reason why a high amount of children adopted by gay men and women turn out to be gay themselves. It's the norm for them.

OT: This is gonna get a little personal, but whatever. When I was a child I definitely was a little.... confused. I got a rush out of seeing a naked person no matter what gender.

It turned out that in all reality, I much preferred the woman sex (I'm a guy) and I kinda grew out of it. Didn't force myself, but I really stopped finding men attractive (and I think it's worth saying that this was about when I was 5-6 years old). Except Josh Hartnett.

The things I would do to that vegetarian piece of ass.
 

AndyFromMonday

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JoesshittyOs said:
To let you in on a little secret, that "people being born gay" is a little bit more for the ignorant crazy fundamentalist types who don't think men and woman should be able to choose who they love.
Statistically speaking, children of gay parents often turn out straight. Those are statistics taken from the Royal College of Psychiatrists and not shit I pulled out of my ass. And who the hell says you can't choose who you have sex with? No one is prohibiting a gay person from fucking women. It's just that trying to change a persons sexuality can be dangerous for the person themselves.

Azuaron said:
Take it up with a major psychological association, not with me. I don't have a problem with it not being genetic but I do have a problem with it being considered a choice. According to every single psychiatric association in the world, homosexuality is not a choice. If you believe you've got the knowledge to counter their claim then do so. Not with me that is, with a member of those associations.

I've also been unable to find anything in regards to synaptic brain growth and its effects on sexuality.