Doing Sex to Me
- Thread starter DarkRyter
- Start date
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Im confused, and i don't think i realy want to re-read that.mechanixis said:From Omegle.com:
Stranger: ım 15 years old and ı look for girl with pic and msn
You: Just go find some porn kid
You: like a normal person
Stranger: no ı wanna girl
You: they don't do that stuff
You: at least not here
Stranger: m/f?
You: ... >:[
You: GUESS
Stranger: f?
You: what do you really think is going to happen here
You: in your best case scenario
Stranger: ı dont understand
You: do you honestly expect
You: some random hot girl to be like "ok"
You: and send you a pic
Stranger: no ı dont have pic now you sent a pic
You: Do you even speak english
Stranger: no
Stranger: thats first
You: What?
Stranger: ı want your pussy.
You: you are too hilarious to be real
Stranger: dont understand you.
Stranger: ıf you r a girl ıwill want your pussy
You: what is a pussy
Stranger: your mom have it.
You: ok
You: what do you want to do
Stranger: ı want to see a pic
You: okay
You: what will you do then ')
You:
Stranger: ıf u r a girl ı will fuck u ın cyber
You: ok
You: take off your pants
Stranger: ı take off my pants
You: mmm
You: i touch your leg
Stranger: mm
Stranger: u lick my penis
You: tell me about it
You: almost got that pic
Stranger: do u have msn?
Stranger: ın there ı will fuck u
You: no we must do it here
Stranger: why ı wonder to u
You: i gently place my sock in your mouth
You: shhh
You: okay here is pic
You: http://img382.imageshack.us/img382/1567/ep2ia71119rlw8.jpg
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
We would also have accepted "absolutely everywhere on the internet at any point in the past five years".MelasZepheos said:
To be honest, the worst butcherings of the English language I've heard usually come from stupid conversations between my friends and I. Particularly my old housemate, he has a quite ridiculous theatrical turn of phrase, almost Shakespearean at times, so we'd come up with some absolute drivel.
Voldemort got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face. "I hath telekinesis."Gxas said:
Wow, I regret reading the first few chapters already.
On an escort service flyer in a hotel in Prague:
All our girls speak language.
Well, at least we know they're not employing Ms. South Carolina!
Also, not exactly mangled English, but still weird (same hotel):
My bf wanted to take me out for a swanky meal as a holiday treat and wanted to book in advance, so he enlisted the assistance of the receptionist at the hotel. While making the booking for him, she asked him, "Will you be taking the blonde you arrived with?" Yup. Seriously. (Note: I would be that blonde.) We'd already been there for a couple of nights in a double room, and we were set to stay for at least one more night. What the hell did she think we were doing? (Probably she was hoping he'd say somthing like, "No, what I really want is a girl who speaks language!" She probably got commission.)
Seriously though, what the fuck? Although I mustn't complain, my bf and I still get good laughs out of the "speak language" thing!
All our girls speak language.
Well, at least we know they're not employing Ms. South Carolina!
Also, not exactly mangled English, but still weird (same hotel):
My bf wanted to take me out for a swanky meal as a holiday treat and wanted to book in advance, so he enlisted the assistance of the receptionist at the hotel. While making the booking for him, she asked him, "Will you be taking the blonde you arrived with?" Yup. Seriously. (Note: I would be that blonde.) We'd already been there for a couple of nights in a double room, and we were set to stay for at least one more night. What the hell did she think we were doing? (Probably she was hoping he'd say somthing like, "No, what I really want is a girl who speaks language!" She probably got commission.)
Seriously though, what the fuck? Although I mustn't complain, my bf and I still get good laughs out of the "speak language" thing!
