Don't Beam Me Up Now, Scotty, I'm Taking A Sh...

[Straitjacketeering]

First I wrote "Don't erase this or you'll regret it." in sharpie the next day it was erased so I spent my entire lunch period spraypainting,"See the mistake of not listening!?" Instead of trying to clean it they painted all the stalls black so the last day of school I put a stickynote on the stall door saying,"Yaknow how hard it is to find a white sharpie!? Ya impossible you assholes."

 

[Mercernary]

*above a urinal*
''Stop reading this and pay attention. We wouldn't want you to miss... again.''

 

[War Penguin]

A comedian once said a very interesting and relevant fact and this thread reminded me of it: a lot of people shit with pens.

 

[Spicy meatball]

Written next to one of three urinals in a pub.

"Express Lane Only!. 5 beers or less

 

[barryween]

All I see is "DUR DUR UR GAI!!!!" and the like.
I once saw one that said
INSURT PURLY SPELT TXT HURE<--------One down, countless more to go.
I found it funny because this idiot thought he was doing something good, but added even MORE to the mess on the stall's wall.

 

[CrafterMan]

"Call me on xxx-xxxx for a good time. I'm eight inches long and two inches thick"

"... are you a ferret?"

Lmao brilliant.

 

[Xyphon]

"Some people come here to take a shit, I come here to leave one."

 

[Woem]

Wow, this makes every bathroom I've ever gone too seem very mediocre.

The same goes for me. The toughest thing we get here are burn marks or random carving. If we get lucky there might be an anarchist sign...

 

[kemosabi4]

I worked at a summer job last year for Monsanto. We had to cross-pollinate corn. The field we worked in was up north of town, in the country. There was no where to go to the bathroom but a single porta-john. Some of the workers would go in there and smoke. No one knew about it until one day, someone wrote on the inside of the door:

Stop smoking or we're taking the toilet.

 

[Lord S. Binkleheimer]

Let's see.
I've seen one with the ENTIRE Singing Poop song from Conker's Bad Fur Day.
One had the line "If you ain't in here to shit, you might as well quit" above the toilet paper dispenser.
Then there was the entire chess game played out on the damn wall.
I also saw:
"Reading this line makes you gay."
Followed by "Thanks for the pick me up (Insert smily face), my day was shit."
Also followed by "Then put it in the pot."

 

[Willwillwritehiswill]

In a stall, on the left side.
"in case of emergency, look right."

on the right side
"I said in case of emergency, idiot!"

 

[Evilbunny]

At my old school, Mayfield
"Everyone at may field is a douche"
and of course, someone had to respond
"Yeah! Wait, I'm at Mayfield! OH SHI-"
Directly under that they taped a picture of a black hole.

Oh, that reminds me of this one in the bathroom of the Astronomy building at my school. Somebody had carved a triforce into the bathroom stall and somebody wrote above that "Newfags can't." It's a little unnerving, actually.

 

[Dr.Poisonfreak]

i wish i was a glow worm, a glow worms never glum , how can you be unhappy when the sun shines out ya bum ? made me chuckle for a bit

" the cleaners job was all in vain, As the shithouse poet strikes again!!" Made me chuckle..

this is absolute genius, i will have to remember it

 

[teisjm]

A pic of a drunk dude pissing in front of the toilet, and the text said
"please move closer, it's shorter than you think"

 

[Aac18]

First I wrote "Don't erase this or you'll regret it." in sharpie the next day it was erased so I spent my entire lunch period spraypainting,"See the mistake of not listening!?" Instead of trying to clean it they painted all the stalls black so the last day of school I put a stickynote on the stall door saying,"Yaknow how hard it is to find a white sharpie!? Ya impossible you assholes."

That's genius if a bit over the top and this thread is hilarious.

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

I want to put "Dump free zone" in a bathroom stall. Never had the chance to do it though.

 

[Jettling]

I once saw a poster in a bathroom that said "Graffiti is a Crime" and just after the "a" some one had written "fun" heh heh
"Graffiti is a fun Crime"

 

[Zeldadudes]

A friend of mine stole my Sharpe permanent marker and wrote "[Cock Joke]" on the white urinal.
I haven't used that Sharpe since...