Dragon Ball Evolution review

[Twilight_guy]

When I saw the first ad in a movie theater my first thought was "fail." My thoughts have not changed since then, nor will they ever.

 

[mokey91]

Nice review. This doesn't surprise me in the least bit. 20th Century Fox are the EA of cinema, they care about nothing but money. Well, now I'm off to go watch "Cooler's Revenge", hehe.

 

[S.H.A.R.P.]

Nice review I have to say, you confirmed all of our suspicions that we should shun this flick. Thanks!

 

[dwightsteel]

I've been marathoning DBZ seasons to get the awful taste of this movie out of my mouth. Piccolo was a joke. Everytime he'd enter a room, he'd do it like he was a bad guy in a really bad 80's movie. Every actor but the dude who played Goku, phoned in their role. You could tell not one of them gave a flying crap about the piece of shit movie they were in.

I have once concession on this craptastic movie: Justin Chatwin as Goku. I might get flack for this, but I still say he wasn't a bad choice for the role.
Goku at that age wasn't a big powerhouse. Mind you he wasn't as scrawny as this kid was, and he could have stood to gain at least a few pounds, but I still contend that with a (much, much, much, much, much) better script, and a lot of recasts, he could have pulled the role off.

But yeah, crappy hacky lines. A cliched "the One" type story (seriously, like they didn't have some amazing stuff to draw from), and calling most of the characters one dimensional would be giving them too much credit. More like .5 dimensional, if I'm being generous.

 

[lenneth]

the movie should have covered the saiyan saga of DBZ (if only to get IT's OVER 9000) but seriously i didn't even think this level of fail was possible

 

[LogicNProportion]

Sad...And not having Master Roshi not being a old pervert that lives in a island in the middle of the ocean is like having Lord of the Rings trilogy without the ring.

In all fairness I had a habit of blocking out anything with hobbits in those movies. Literally, the screen would be black with voices and then there would be a battle scene and it would flicker to life for me to enjoy orcs getting fresh pwn on their new carpets.

 

[commit97]

What a surprise. Next you'll be telling me the live-action Cowboy Bebop movie isn't good.

That said, your review has numerous grammatical and tense errors. If you tightened that stuff up, it'd be easier for me and others to read. Also, am I the only one who was completely disgusted by your comparison at the end? I'm sure it's a horrible movie, but... Yuck.

What does make me sad is the recent "anime to live-action" movie trend. A Battle Angel movie has been in the works for a long time, but now I'm starting to think it'll just be another Dragon Ball, and I couldn't take that combined with the "no way it's gonna be even decent" Cowboy Bebop movie.

Two of my favorite things are about to be ruined... NO!

Now all they need to do is make live action movies out of Monster, Ghost in the Shell, RahXephon, Blade of the Immortal and Hunter X Hunter in order to drive me to either suicide or mass murder.

I think ghost in the shell is coming.

Also I don't care about tense or grammar for a quick review I wrote while watching tv

Ok, I'll use a different comparison at the end next time. Bestiality good?

Ghost in a shell is happening. They have a script and are casting soon. I wont be suprised if uma therman or how ever you spell her name will be taking the leading role.

As a deciated fan of the GITS Series, I will valently try to like the movie, but i imagine a truck load of vodka will be invovled

(Re-reads) OH SWEET GOD ABOVE?! UMA THURMAN? Please tell me you are joking, she is the most removed person possible from Motoko. Screw the vodka, I'll will need LSD to get throught THAT film....

 

[Aptspire]

What a surprise. Next you'll be telling me the live-action Cowboy Bebop movie isn't good.

That said, your review has numerous grammatical and tense errors. If you tightened that stuff up, it'd be easier for me and others to read. Also, am I the only one who was completely disgusted by your comparison at the end? I'm sure it's a horrible movie, but... Yuck.

What does make me sad is the recent "anime to live-action" movie trend. A Battle Angel movie has been in the works for a long time, but now I'm starting to think it'll just be another Dragon Ball, and I couldn't take that combined with the "no way it's gonna be even decent" Cowboy Bebop movie.

Two of my favorite things are about to be ruined... NO!

Now all they need to do is make live action movies out of Monster, Ghost in the Shell, RahXephon, Blade of the Immortal and Hunter X Hunter in order to drive me to either suicide or mass murder.

I think ghost in the shell is coming.

Also I don't care about tense or grammar for a quick review I wrote while watching tv

Ok, I'll use a different comparison at the end next time. Bestiality good?

Ghost in a shell is happening. They have a script and are casting soon. I wont be suprised if uma therman or how ever you spell her name will be taking the leading role.

As a deciated fan of the GITS Series, I will valently try to like the movie, but i imagine a truck load of vodka will be invovled

(Re-reads) OH SWEET GOD ABOVE?! UMA THURMAN? Please tell me you are joking, she is the most removed person possible from Motoko. Screw the vodka, I'll will need LSD to get throught THAT film....

Anyone seen DBZ:E yet?
Anyone but Uma...The Gods have mercy on us!!!
One gigantic failstorm coming our way...Reboot...in motherf***ing Live Action D:

 

[kokirisoldier]

Ok. I'm watching it right now...

o__O

...Now I'm drinking straight Vodka...


...Wow this is still horrible....

*blarrrgggh*


...ZZZZZzzzzzz....

*wakes up*

"OH GOOD ITS OVER!"

My rating 2/10

 

[iTommeh]

I refuse to watch this movie and lose my childhood. I'm clinging to it, I've lost so much of it.

Just curiously, what martial artist would you most like to see portray Goku in a Dragonball movie?

My vote goes either for Tony Jaa or Jet Li.

Probably Jet Li, he has that sort've silly aura around him. Like a nuke in a clown suit.

 

[RAKais]

I thought the actor who played Goku was particularly likeable so... 1/10

Seriously though, the film makers just shoved everything that made Dragonball Dragonball and rolled it up, shit on it and kicked it down some stairs and out came evolution.

Jesus, the guy who wrote the manga/anime helped direct and he cocked up his own franchise!!!

This film had SO MUCH POTENTIAL.

P.S Kamehameha's are BEAMS not gushs of blue air. BEAMS GODDAMIT!

P.S.S The monkey was too small

 

[DalekJaas]

Hahaha LOTR orcs was funny.

DUDE you missed one of the stupidist things!!! Goku gets shot and to revive him Roshi uses KAMEHAMEHA on him!! And the oozaru is a demon from the past, and gokus isnt even a saiyan (he arrives in a meteorite and is a demon) and oozaru looks like a bad CGI werewolf.

 

[ssgt splatter]

Wow dude. You should apply for a job with Yahtzee and write his material for his next review.
I knew this was going to an absolute F***nugget of a movie the very nanosecond I saw the movie title. At first, I had no idea what movie this was, it was that obscure. As soon as saw it was Drangonball this is what I said word for word, "oh...my...god, really? Are they really going to do this? Are they CRAZY?! They're just asking movie critics to ass-rape them with a S*** dick wrapped in rusty barbbed-wire."

 

[Solstrana91]

OP fails.
It was an adaptation of the original anime/manga etc
If you want a carbon copy
go buy all the cartoon films on dvd.
pfft.

 

[Solstrana91]

YOU FORGOT THE FLYING FACT THAT GOKU'S NOT AN ADULT TILL DRAGONBALL Z.........

sorry for the caps but I think it's retarded the number of dragonball fans that forget this
(if you think it's Z go F_ck yourself piccolo is the villain)

Incorrect.
Goku is an adult at end of Dragonball, when he fights Piccolo Jr.
Sorry to be a db fanboy, i just wanted to point it out

 

[pirateninj4]

Go go homogenized crappy mess.

 

[grimzero]

have not seen the movie but don't need to see it to know it's just s@#t