Yeah, you heard me. Full game. By some strange twist of fate, Duke Nukem got released four days early in Australia. How do you like that, America? Huh? Huh?
*ahem*
Anyway, I pre-ordered the game out of morbid curiosity. I just had to see what kind of creature is born of three(?) developers and 14 years. After playing about 4 hours of the PC version, I am very unimpressed. But rather then bombard you with opinions, I'll throw down some hard facts.
- Yes, there is a 2-weapon limit. Although you also get pipe bombs, trip mines and Halo-style melee on top of that.
- Yes, there is rapidly regenerating health.
- Yes, you will be using cover on a fairly regular basis. At least on medium difficulty.
- Yes, the vehicles control like arse.
- Yes, the mighty boot is gone. You can only kick enemies during scripted finisher animations.
- Yes, movement speed is fairly slow. You can sprint for a limited time. After a few seconds, Duke starts gasping like an asthmatic.
- Yes, You frequently have to mash a prompted button to open doors or finish off stunned enemies.
- Yes, you die fairly easily. Some non-boss enemies will finish you in three hits.
- Yes, the demo is an accurate representation of the full game.
EDIT: Yes, the game is eight hours long.
...
Okay, now I start bombarding you with opinions. Feel free to ignore everything below.
In a nutshell, if you are looking for an old-school run-and-gun murder-'em-up... then look elsewhere. This isn't it. Serious Sam is better. Painkiller is better (just). Hell, even Bulletstorm is better. And this is coming from someone who isn't even a huge fan of run-and-guns. However, it would be a ridiculous stretch to call it a CoD-clone (as some tremendously stupid people have). It feels more like playing a combination of Halo and Half-Life 2, but with every single good thing mercilessly ripped out and the protagonist replaced with a colossal wanker.
I should note that it's not all bad. For example, there are some creative and amusing sequences involving Duke being shrunk down to about five inches tall. Navigating kitchen shelves as mini-Duke as he spouts bad one-lines in a hamster voice has an undeniable appeal. Also, there is a bit of humour in there. If you are truly determined to buy and enjoy this game, then this is where you'll probably have to extract your money's worth. If a handful of vaguely amusing pop-culture references and snide digs at well known games is worth $60 to you, then Duke Nukem will provide.
I guess the most damning thing I can say about that game is that I was frequently bored while playing it. This is not one of those games that keeps you up into the small hours. Rather, it's a game where, after an hour or so, you start wondering if your time would be better spent doing the dishes or tidying up the yard.
EDIT: Oh yeah, almost forgot. There are naked breasts. Quite a lot of them in fact. If you find the prospect of polygonal boobs and blunt innuendo genuinely appealing then, well... don't worry, that whole puberty thing will be over soon.
*ahem*
Anyway, I pre-ordered the game out of morbid curiosity. I just had to see what kind of creature is born of three(?) developers and 14 years. After playing about 4 hours of the PC version, I am very unimpressed. But rather then bombard you with opinions, I'll throw down some hard facts.
- Yes, there is a 2-weapon limit. Although you also get pipe bombs, trip mines and Halo-style melee on top of that.
- Yes, there is rapidly regenerating health.
- Yes, you will be using cover on a fairly regular basis. At least on medium difficulty.
- Yes, the vehicles control like arse.
- Yes, the mighty boot is gone. You can only kick enemies during scripted finisher animations.
- Yes, movement speed is fairly slow. You can sprint for a limited time. After a few seconds, Duke starts gasping like an asthmatic.
- Yes, You frequently have to mash a prompted button to open doors or finish off stunned enemies.
- Yes, you die fairly easily. Some non-boss enemies will finish you in three hits.
- Yes, the demo is an accurate representation of the full game.
EDIT: Yes, the game is eight hours long.
...
Okay, now I start bombarding you with opinions. Feel free to ignore everything below.
In a nutshell, if you are looking for an old-school run-and-gun murder-'em-up... then look elsewhere. This isn't it. Serious Sam is better. Painkiller is better (just). Hell, even Bulletstorm is better. And this is coming from someone who isn't even a huge fan of run-and-guns. However, it would be a ridiculous stretch to call it a CoD-clone (as some tremendously stupid people have). It feels more like playing a combination of Halo and Half-Life 2, but with every single good thing mercilessly ripped out and the protagonist replaced with a colossal wanker.
I should note that it's not all bad. For example, there are some creative and amusing sequences involving Duke being shrunk down to about five inches tall. Navigating kitchen shelves as mini-Duke as he spouts bad one-lines in a hamster voice has an undeniable appeal. Also, there is a bit of humour in there. If you are truly determined to buy and enjoy this game, then this is where you'll probably have to extract your money's worth. If a handful of vaguely amusing pop-culture references and snide digs at well known games is worth $60 to you, then Duke Nukem will provide.
I guess the most damning thing I can say about that game is that I was frequently bored while playing it. This is not one of those games that keeps you up into the small hours. Rather, it's a game where, after an hour or so, you start wondering if your time would be better spent doing the dishes or tidying up the yard.
EDIT: Oh yeah, almost forgot. There are naked breasts. Quite a lot of them in fact. If you find the prospect of polygonal boobs and blunt innuendo genuinely appealing then, well... don't worry, that whole puberty thing will be over soon.
