Dumbest Things Customers Have Said

[008Zulu_v1legacy]

Due to one of my chosen vocations being hilariously represented on one of my favourite shows, I now answer the phone in the following manner;

Hello I.T department, have you tried switching it off and on again.

You can guess how some of my days go.

 

[Canid117]

I used to work in Coldstone Creamery.

A customer came in with coupon and she wanted to get something of more value than what the coupon was offering. Obviously, I wouldn't let her.

Then she was crying and then said "You should really honor the coupon you know"

Irony...

How is that Irony?

 

[BlackIvory]

god, I work at a tech call center for a major ISP in my country, and If a cummulative experience of a little over 2 years in this job has tought me anything, is that people need to pass a goverment sanctioned test about basic pc terms and usage before they are allowed to buy one.
And I do mean basic like whats a mouse, how to turn on/off a screen/pc (and tell the difference between them, stuff like that) and a BASIC understanding of the english language

 

[RoyalSorceress]

I used to work at Gamestop (please don't hit me, I suffered at their hands enough), and some of the things I heard absolutely made me wonder how people handled a control.

A very common one "Do you have Mario for XBox/Playstation?" "I...what? No."

It was common place for people to ask for Nintendo games or accessories for other consoles. I can understand not knowing, that's perfectly fine, no problem, but stop doing it every time you walk in my store and I tell you it's not now, nor will it ever be, on that console.

I got that a lot. And almost everyone of them insisted that you could get Mario for the Xbox or Halo for the PS2.
My response was always "If you can show me an actual copy of Mario for the Xbox/Halo for the PS2, I will not only pay for it, I'll give you $1,000,000.
Not one of them ever tried to collect.

 

[Don't taze me bro]

I worked at EB games in Australia for a few years. I had a customer complain to my Area Manager, when I refused to accept her 'counterfeit GBA cartridges' as trade ins towards a new Pokemon Emerald. She complained loudly to anyone who would hear, how we were depriving her son of his favourite game, and ranted loudly until she had left the shop.

The worst thing about the whole charade, was my Area Manager telling me I was in the wrong. God he was a wanker.

 

[mysecondlife]

I used to work in Coldstone Creamery.

A customer came in with coupon and she wanted to get something of more value than what the coupon was offering. Obviously, I wouldn't let her.

Then she was crying and then said "You should really honor the coupon you know"

Irony...

How is that Irony?

she herself wasn't honoring the coupon. Think it was a bad choice of words?

 

[pigmypython]

I worked at a Future Shop (Canadian version of Best Buy but soley for electronics). While I remember there being many customers I wanted to punch I mostly just shook my head at what people expected out of cheap electronics.

Example: I constantly had customers wanting to buy the $200 cheap ass netbooks only to return them the next day screaming that our product was crap because it wouldn't play Crysis 2 (or another game of similar requirements). This is of course after I warned them the technical abilities would not support it...

I also remember another customer getting angry that we wouldn't give him a discount on a computer that was already on sale for half it's original price. (I was already giving him a bundle deal with it). He then demanded the manager which I got. The manager saw I was giving him too good of a deal and proceeded to charge him more for computer...the customer smiled at me and said "well that backfired didn't it!" Cheap bastard...

Every customer who pulls the "do you know who I am?" line, or "I have spent a million dollars here and I should get a deal!!!" I have spent a lot of money at the grocers but strangely tomatoes still seem to cost the same...strange.

 

[Josh Horton]

Ok, when I worked at Wal-Mart in the Electronics Department, not only did I have a dumb question from the customer but also a dumb moment from customer service.

I get a phone call transferred from CS back to electronics where I promptly get asked, "Do you carry doggy condoms?" At first I thought this had to be a joke but sadly enough I realized it was not.. They then continued to go on and explain they had to change their jeans several times because the dog kept humping them. Hence the phone call for doggy condoms... I really wanted to tell them off but I was so dumbfounded about the whole situation and why electronics was transferred the phone call about doggy condoms... I just ended up telling them to call around town for this mythical item.

Much to my amusement they called back later wondering if we sold them on walmart.com. I asked if they had tried searching online themselves. They replied with, "Yes, it shows nothing, we even tried googling them but nobody has them."


You don't say.... *sigh*

 

[The Artificially Prolonged]

Wow reading these comments makes me glad I've managed to avoid getting a job in retail up to this point.

That said back when I first left school I worked as an apprentice doing maintenance jobs on housing estates with a company. One day a women who's house was of the ones we where working came out to us while we where on a break and asked "which one of you is in charged?" To which we all quickly pointed to head builder who replied, "is something the matter?" The women then said "my daughter has got toothache so she broke the kitchen window, can you fit a new one?" To this day I cannot even comprehend the logic behind a toothache someone causing someone to break a window, unless there is some bizarre cause and effect science I'm just not seeing here. Sadly that was not a one off incident either, a few days later in the same area someone else maanged to break a their own window this time by throwing a water hose that had been lowered into garden from bathroom at the window, in an attempt to get the hose back inside the house. Apparently the idea simply pulling the hose back in from the bathroom was not thought, and of course we where expected to repair the window immediately because it's our job to maintain the buildings. Some people....

 

[Belluavir]

I worked at Kroger for a short time and there was this one old guy who stood next to the cart of frozen vegetables I was unloading. He stood there watching for a little while and said "you know your vegetables are meltin'." I don't remember my response. It's not really funny or interesting, it's just bizarre, who does that asshole think he is? Things like vegetables and frozen dinners can stay frozen for quite some time out on the floor, especially when there's a lot of them piled up together... And vegetables don't melt!

 

[Aurgelmir]

This isn't a silly customer story, but I like it anyways:

I was once in a computer store, and I am standing in line, the lady in front of me is having issues with her mp3 player, and was trying to get it fixed.
The guy behind the counter keeps telling her there is nothing he can do and he will need to send it back to the manufacturer.
So the guy starts typing stuff into the computer, and I realize two things:
1. This will take forever.
2. Thats the same type of mp3 player I have.

So I go up to the counter and ask if I can borrow a paper clip and the mp3 player
It took me two seconds to fix the player, by shoving the paper clip into the reset button hole...

 

[Merkavar]

I don't have any of my own to add, but I know a place that does.

http://notalwaysright.com/

They've collected THOUSANDS of customer service stories. Warning, that site can swallow days of your life, and you'll despair for the future of humanity, and probably laugh a LOT too.

Milking A Complaint For All It Weighs
Retail | MA, USA

(I?m checking out an older woman at the register.)

Customer: ?Can you bag these light for me??

Me: ?Sure thing.?

(After several bags worth of items, she has no complaints. I then ring up a gallon of milk for her, and place it in its own bag.)

Customer: *angrily* ?Did you not hear me earlier? I asked for these bags to be light. Do you want me to break my arm??

Me: ?Ma?am, there is only one item in that bag.?

Customer: ?You?re trying to break my arm! Supervisor! I need a supervisor right now!?

Supervisor: ?Can I help you with anything??

Customer: ?He?s trying to kill me! I asked for light bags, and he made this one too heavy. He refuses to redo it!?

Supervisor: ?Ma?am, there is only a gallon of milk in that bag. Would you like him to pour out half of the milk for you? That is the only way I see to make that bag lighter.?

Customer: ?I?m calling your manager and getting both of you fired. You belong in h*** for trying to kill me!?


that one made me lol

 

[Eddy-16]

Back when I used to work as a paper boy for the local post office, this one guy started complaining that his paper was wet. It was winter and snowing like hell and I'd had to walk the entire 3 mile round because I couldn't bike through it and my dads car was stuck. So anyway he was complaining that the paper was wet, so I said to him have you not seen outside, he replied yes then said its snowing that doesn't make things wet though. *Facepalm*

 

[daniel the immortal]

customer: hello do you work here?
me: *no i just like stocking shevles and wearing this shit uniform*

 

[_dante]

When I worked at Mcdonalds.

A lady came up to me at the counter and asked "is this Subway?"

 

[Byere]

No, my best ones that I've had are as follows...

Keep in mind, my uniform (at the time) consisted of a very ugly purple shirt with both the store logo on the back, on the front AND having a large name badge with the logo on it as well. The amount of times customers came up to me and said "Excuse me, do you work here?" *facepalm*

My other example isn't so much a dumb thing said, it was just incredibly awkward.
I was placing stock out on the bottom shelf at the time and these shelves are about an inch off the floor so to get to the back you have to either kneel or sit down to reach it. As I'm putting stuff out, an old lady came up behind me and said "Whenever I see you, you're always doing something on your knees."
Again, keep in mind this was BEFORE I came out of the closet ¬.¬'

 

[Lono Shrugged]

"Does this come in black?"

While holing a red pen.

Of course itdoes, you fool.

In fairness, I have asked this question about specific pens that only come in blue ink.

The worst I had was a woman breaking down on the phone telling me her mother was dying of cancer. Not stupid just kinda depressing.

I also had a client in my current business accused me of being a C.I.A. agent, trying to steal her ideas and screaming crazy shit at me in a crowded coffee shop. (I live in Ireland and work in media)

Ok thats depressing too.

Ah! Sometimes you have a bunch of kids calling late at night pranking, I spotted it straight away and spent five minutes scolding them and giving them pointers on how to prank properly. "draw it out more lead them on! and tell your donkey sounding mate to shut his mouth! Dead giveaway, Man alive! Do you even HAVE a plan? etc."

My boss heard the whole thing and pissed herself (laughing).


I think the whole "Do you work here?" thing is more awkwardnes than stupid. It's like saying "can I ask you a question?"

 

[sonicguru]

Most common one is this;

Customer: Do you know where [item] is?
Me: (points) Just there.

They were blindly standing next to it.

 

[Quaxar]

I currently work as a paramedic/EMT and we get a lot of stupid people sometimes. I mean I've had people call the ambulance because they slipped while cutting toenails...

Then there's people who always demand to see an emergency doctor and treat you like crap or ignore you in total. Not those with heart attacks, mind you, but those with practically nothing.

Naturally. We're just here to carry and drive anyway. Would be a bit stupid to just let anyone with a few months of training and a big test deal with smaller emergencies, no?

 

[Valdus]

Me: *bringing shutters down, turning off all lights and walking outside at at about 5:30 when our sign says we close at 5pm*
Customer: "Oh are you closed"?

Customer: "Does your chicken mayonaise have mayonaise in it?"
Me: "Oh god I hope so."