Escape to the Movies: Centurion

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CK76

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Maybe its a generational thing as Bob mentioned about in "Heavy Metal" but T&A in films just bores me. Don't get me wrong, I love women and enjoy seeing them. However, meaningless bimbos parading around in bikinis does not do anything for me. I'm desensitized to this stuff to the point that I don't even notice it. It comes off kind of sad that anyone would pay money (3-D film is what, a good 12-15 dollars?) with big drawing part is "look at boobies". We do have the internet Bob, lots of free...stuff, out there.
 

deckai

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Oct 26, 2009
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Shadefyre said:
cornmancer said:
Didn't Piranha come out 30 years ago... under the name Jaws?
Actually it came out in 1978 as the movie Piranhas. And again as Piranha's 2:The Spawning in 1981. And again as Piranha in 1995, a remake of the 1978 movie. I'm surprised Bob didn't at least take a break from poking at the people who watched(not even liked) the Expendables to mention that Piranha is another 2000's shitty remake of a sub-par horror movie from the 70's-80's. Which I'll probably go see, because bad horror is very entertaining to me,for the laughs. As for Centurion, I liked Dog Soldiers/The Descent/Doomsday so I'll probably see it, though it's unfortunate that this "review" is the first place I've heard of it.

I think this whole "Bob's on his high horse, just being a douche to people who don't agree with him" thing was summed up really well way back on one of the first reviews of a movie he didn't like (don't remember which one, probably Transformers). He simply sucks at reviewing movies he doesn't like. This is because instead of breaking them down into their components and discussing said components like he does in reviews of movies he likes (when they aren't just excited fanboy squealing *cough*Scott Pilgrim*cough*) he just picks randoms things that he doesn't like and labeling as made by stupid people, for stupid people/jocks/fanboys/etc. I understand that he's a critic, and is payed to speak his mind, but it would be nice if he could try to be a little bit objective, to get some facts across once in a while, rather than just repeating that the movie is bad/stupid/pointless and going all nerd rage on it. At least Yahtzee (I hate to bring him into this, but the two fill a comparable role for games/movies) occasionally attempts to the good bits of an otherwise bad game. Bob just needs to grow up a little, maybe meet a lady friend to fix his almost juvenile fixation on boobs and lesbians, and try to act a bit more like a critic by doing some actual criticizing.

On a side side note, how did the Escapist devolve so much in the year or so since I last posted? Flame wars, white knighting, spelling/grammar equivalent to the average Youtube commenter, and #sters seem to run rampant throughout the threads on the site. Maybe people used to think we Escapists were a bit elitist, but there is a big difference between being an elitist and having some common standards.

Oh, and I have no interest in seeing the Expendables, nor did I before Bob whined about how bad it was. So I'm not just being verbosely butthurt about being one of the people his insults were directed at, FYI.
Well, the first Piranha was spoofing Jaws, Universal even tried to sue them for it. But Spielberg liked the movie so much that they came to an agreement outside the court. And the second movie was directed by James Cameron(!!!). I'm a big fan of both and I can't wait for the remake, in worst case it will introduce the people to the older ones... and if it sucks, well I still have the originals.

OT: I definitely disagree with Bob. I saw a lot of his points, but they all were forgivable, nothing that really put me off. IMO, the Expendables is a very enjoyable movie, a movie that's not driven by superb story or camerawork, but by great characters and actors, i doubt it would have worked with other actors. Yes it could have been better, but not much.
 

ProjectTrinity

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bojac6 said:
Hatchet90 said:
And you make fun of a movie that you didn't even see, where at least MB went that far. Hey buddy, guess what Scott Pilgrim was about? Video Games!!! Are you really that stupid to say that a movie dedicated to video games is not as good as a typical, piece of shit action movie and that the Expendables is more deserving of the Escapist's praise? Go jump off a bridge with Masterchief and the Marcus Phenix behind you, the world will be a much better place. You are a typical douchebag.
Silent Hill
I am sadfacing you. D=
 

TheAngryMonkey

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Starke said:
Shale_Dirk said:
M. Morgan said:
One of my favorite movie lines comes from the Ruroni Kenshi O.V.A. series more commonly labeled as Samurai X here in America.

"It is foolish to listen to anyone who will not listen to you."

And that's what we have here. You Did Not Listen To Your Viewers. You pitched a hissy fit because they didn't go see the movie you wanted them to, called them names in the most obscene childlike manner available to you, and this week you had the audacity to explain why it's okay for you to act like an adolescent brat because the movie ... didn't have more fake blood and naked women?
Seriously?

Ok, Bob never said "You. My fans. The people that regularly watch this internet program", he said, "You, the general movie-going public who buys this crap up".
Seriously? Bob never said "You, the general movie-going public who buys this crap up", he did however say "you're probably the worst sort of person."

In fact, no one (I've seen) said anything even vaguely similar to what you're attributing to people. Please try to elevate yourself above Bob's tantrum and, you know, participate in discussion.
Shale_Dirk said:
Furthermore, the sales of The Expendables has nothing to do with whether or not Bob "listened to his viewers".
Or, you know, this argument. What the sales of The Expendables is relevant to is Bob's infantile tantrum he threw last week while equating his audience with "the worst sort of person" for enjoying it. Let's think about this for a moment. Bob's saying, quite literally, that if you enjoyed the Expendables you're the worst kind of human being? Seriously? Nothing worse? Really? Huh.
Shale_Dirk said:
I swear to god you people must be smoking something wonderful, else this whole boycott and rage bs would be over now (as if it should have ever started).
Except, like a small child, Bob hasn't learned not to pick at scabs. This would have been a dead issue this morning, the other thread ran up to last night, but it was mostly dead by that point, and then Bob comes back and decides that the people who don't dutifully follow in his footsteps like mindless sheep mewing his praises must be jocks... Right...
Shale_Dirk said:
Just because you people can't figure out who Bob is talking about we're still having this discussion.
I'm sorry, you seem to have made a slight error here. It should be "just because Bob can't figure out who he's talking to." You see, there's a lot of people who come to this site, or did, to watch Bob's reviews. Between masturbating for most of a review, and then throwing a puerile tantrum, a lot of those people are flat out gone. Gone. They aren't making money for the site anymore, they won't come back, ever. They know who Bob was talking about when he threw a fit.

Seriously, Bob threw a tantrum because a film with a major ad budget and a nation wide release out preformed a limited release film with a, quite frankly, shitty lead actor, whose previous work included Year One... Right... You put this opposite a cavalcade of recognizable actors and who's surprised when it sinks like a stone? And yet, Bob decides, rather than to deal with this like a rational adult, what he needs to do is throw a tantrum. Yes, the rational mature thing for him to do is behave like an eight year old who just found out his favorite film isn't everyone else's favorite. In so doing he pissed off a lot of people who'd mistaken him for an adult with rational critical abilities. That he called them names in the process doesn't help.
Haha easy their Captain Passive Aggressive, and you openly insulting him and calling him a "child", "..behave like an 8 year old..","Between masturbating for most of a review..","..mistaken him for an adult with rational critical abilities."
What would you classify your comments?
And the Pièce de résistance, "..called them names in the process doesn't help."
Because your just full of help, alwase taking your own advice.
Clap Clap Clap.
 

Julianking93

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Holy shit!! Centurion is done by Neil Marshall and stars Micheal Fassbender????

Now I'm pissed this didn't come out in my town :(
 

FallenJellyDoughnut

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I'm fairly sure he didn't insult people who went to watch The Expendables, only the people who enjoyed it (although that is still a large audience)

And he doesn't like Pirahna 3d because of nudity (although that is my 1 reason to watch it) he likes it because its a fun R-rated movie with an absurd premise. The same reason some people enjoyed Crank.

Everyone stop having a hissy fit because a man over the internet told you you're dumb for liking a movie that isn't actually that good (I saw it, its meh.)
 

Ian S

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MovieBob said:
I did NOT know that. Kinda makes a little more sense that that dude's got that kind of endurance/flexibility dynamic going on...

It's kinda like when you see Vincent Cassel doing that "this one's for the ladies" yoga business in "Ocean's 12" and it's like "Huh. I didn't expect that was in this particular actor's skill-set." Then you remember, "Oh, right. That's Mr. Monica Bellucci, he'd better be able to do that..." ;)
Thanks, Bob! Glad to know you read the comments here, even if you may not take the time to respond to all of them (I guess you'd go crazy if you did).

I saw an interview with Kelly Brook on "Attack of the Show," and between that and what else I read about her, she sounds like a real sweetheart. I'm guessing the reason you prefer someone like her over, say, Megan Fox is because unlike Fox, she doesn't act so full of herself or pretend to be some sort of serious actress when she isn't or is given to saying outrageous things.

I wish you could have devoted a little more time to the cast of Piranha 3D, as to me, that was a large part of what made the movie work. In addition to Ms. Brook, Ving Rhames and the cameo castings of both Richard Dreyfuss and Christopher Lloyd, there was Elizabeth Shue, whom I hadn't seen doing anything of real consequence since The Karate Kid or Adventures in Babysitting (seeing her playing a 40-something mother of one teenager and two pre-teens made me feel old, BTW. But man, she's still got it going on!). Also Jerry O'Connell just about stole the show playing the douchebag pornographer who seemed to have been based on Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis. Eli Roth also had a cameo as the host of a wet T-shirt contest. Everyone in that movie looked like they were really having fun doing it, and it it went a long way towards the finished product. :)
 

RTR

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Wait so I get buckets of blood, hot naked chicks, Ving Rhames AND Christopher LLoyd?? Great Scott I must see this now!!!!
I guess what Bob is trying to say is that a junkie movie is something you really have to see for yourself to determine if it's good or not. I think the forumula for a good one is complicated given how it's so easy to make one.

BTW, "History is written in blood" has to be the best movie poster tagline I've seen in all year, right next to "An Epic of Epic Epicness"
 

Swifteye

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SirPumpkinLongshanks said:
Wow people get easily offended.

So many people want to see movies and games as art and they argue endlessly about how it can be done and what it would look like etc. and then they go out and support a piece of shit like The Expendables and they're surprised when another person within the geek community gets on their case for feeding the machine? I'll bet you anything a lot of the people who are offended over this have insulted, directly or indirectly, the audience of something that they didn't like.

While perhaps they expect Bob to hold to a higher standard the thing we're forgetting is he's just a guy who happens to review movies. Critics say this kind of stuff all the time and right or wrong, they're human. They don't owe it to us not to violate our sensibilities. In fact one of the things I find so refreshing about Bob is that he comes out and says what he thinks, period. It's the same reason I like Yahtzee so much. Yeah he goes for comedy but there's more truth in what he says than in many professional reviews, and though he slathers his insults with a good dose of wit he's still insulting his audience at many turns.

As for the "boobs, blood, etc." comments... Seriously? He didn't give reasons for why he liked Piranha? Attractive people sell movie tickets. Even with porn we're hardly immune to the pull of attractive people doing their thing on screen. That's not a reason to see a film in itself but when we're talking about B movies it is one of the perks. More often than not it isn't a good B movie without it. The same goes for the blood and gore. That's what those movies are about. When it's well done and you don't consider those good reasons to see a movie then B movies (at least that kind of B movie) obviously aren't for you.
You do know the biggest problem is that he insulted us for having different taste than him? And that he showed a movie that was equally bad and gave shallow reasons for why it's better? This seems pretty clear but I guess i'll add as to why that matters. It matters because he is supposed to be someone that matters and not some stupid troll. His buisness is in reviewing something. And with a little depth no less. But very often and espescially the last few weeks we've been seeing that movie bob is pretty much a giant nerd. And not the good kind. When you are someone who isn't affront about being a troll for entertainment purposes your expected to show conduct when producing something. When you go from being a random youtube user to being a person who might actually get some money to do this regularly on a website you are expected to not phone it in or slack off.

All he had to do is back up and maybe say sorry for going a little too far and we'd all be talking about the movie he should have reviewed but really didn't. You may ask us why this really matters? Well that's what a proper gentleman does. I don't intend on accepting anything less.
 

saber152

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Apr 21, 2010
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maddawg IAJI said:
Rigs83 said:
P.S.
Movie Bob this is the Escapist site and they mostly do stuff about videogames and videogames news and one of the biggest franchises in this current generation has a guy taking a chainsaw to the enemies face, another with a main character whose biceps are bigger than his head, and "Boom Headshot" means something cool. Get off the high horse when this audience likes to see stupid action films over an obscure comic book based film.
Okay, stop right there, I think you need to give this forum a better look.

-The majority reveres developers with the likes of Bioware, Valve and Bethesda. Two of which are well known for their RPGs and the other is known for it's storytelling in it's FPS games, even without dialog. You be surprised what you can pick up from looking in Left 4 Dead or listening to the characters in TF2 and Portal.

-There have been more MW2 and Halo hate threads then any other gaming hate on this site.

-Gears of War is hardly ever mentioned, and when it is, its met with "meh." or small praise.

We are not the generic Gamer. We play those games, sure, but we prefer the Story Telling in most cases.

As for movies? Guess what? I preferred Inception over Watchman and Avatar. Story Telling and Characters will always win my appeal over gore and special effects.
what can I say dude makes a few good points about gaming, I've played games from Bioware and Bethesda and I've always preferred them to games like Halo Modern, Warfare 2, and Gears of war (Gears dose have some cool monsters though). honestly it all breaks down to preference, some gamers like myself prefer story and gameplay over action or visuals, some follow a specific genre of games, others a specific series )yea i'm looking at you Starcraft). on a side note Inception, best movie I've seen in a while.
 

Therumancer

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Nov 28, 2007
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I've been trying to stay out of this, but I'll be blunt:

I can accept that MovieBob is a critic, however I think it steps over the line when he starts seriously insulting his audience, especially seeing as he's a professional. I say "seriously" because Yahtzee has done some similar stuff, but with his style I've never felt it was actually a real attack on anyone, but part of his routine and what makes him entertaining. With Moviebob it's something else entirely.

Truthfully, I think The Escapist needs to put a tighter rein on some of the people doing their articles. We had the anti-white racist stuff in some of the game reviews (like with Just Cause 2), we have this now... seriously, it's one thing coming from a humourist or comedy sketch, something else coming from more serious articles.

That bit said I will also say that I saw "Pirahna 3-D" as can definatly enjoy low brow entertainment. Boobies, blood, and absolute ridiculousness entertain me, and this movie delivered on those accounts. It was a very good movie, that did what it was trying to do well. The biggest disappointment for me was that I don't think Christopher Lloyd nailed his role very well... and umm, while it was a smaller bit I think the guy riding the Jet Ski while shooting Pirahna with a shotgun was more amusing than Ving Rhames. I actually did a "WTF did I just see" for a second but then figured "Ahh well, it fits the movie... carry on".

Oh and the Lesbian swimming scene was quite well done, remember we're not talking a highbrow movie here. :p

-

One final bit I will mention that I want to get off my chest is yes, predictably about "The Expendables". To be honest, I saw the movie and didn't think it was bad, not great, but not horrible. Looking back on it, the only real complaint is that it was a very "by the numbers" action movie, and simply was not as exceptional as it could be considering all the star power involved... but then again a lot of those stars are not exactly in their prime.

Despite the comments on their acting credits I kind of got the impression MovieBob actually didn't like the source material given his comments about musclemen. He also seemed to deliberatly go out of context with comparisons like talking about how it would have been a mistake to cast Van Damme in "The Matrix" for the reasons he stated. The reason why Keanu Reeves worked was not because it's better to teach an actor how to fight in a universal sense, but because of the kind of role it was. Van Damme looks like a musclebound tough guy, but the character Neo is not supposed to, he only fights because he basically "cheats" by altering computer reality to give himself those abillities. He's not supposed to look like a guy who can do the kinds of things he does, unlike Van Damme. Van Damme is good for other kinds of roles where you are using a straightforward tough guy, who is supposed to look like he can do the kinds of things you see in the movie.

I'll also be honest that I found it jarring that after he talked about only morons having a problem with skinny martial arts guys (which I'm not sure where he gets that impression from) he decided to rant about how Jet Li could take the cast of this movie apart. Sure Jet Li has some skills but he's not a young man, and is a lot smaller than a lot of these guys. If he's supposed to be talking about realism here or whatever, to be honest I think most of the guys in this movie would clean his clock, probably one of the reasons why he had no problems doing the movie given some of the more arrogant things I've heard about him. I mean Dolph is a 3rd degree black belt IRL, Randy is a multiple-time MMA champion, I don't know Jason Statham's training level but he's credited as being pretty good and is 10 years younger than Jet Li along with being a bit bigger, and so on. The point isn't some kind of massive pissing contest, but the point being that a lot of people in this movie are real world tough guys, not just walking slabs of meat, who have put a lot of work into their craft. Syfy magazine (I think it was) made a point about the Dolph, Jet-Li fight and the fact that they wanted Dolph to fight using more martial arts than he normally does (since he's cast as a brawler usually), people forget he used to do Kung-Fu movies alongside guys like Brandon Lee.

The point being I guess is that not only was he insulting to the viewers, but I think that despite the acknowlegements of some of their achievements, he was also fairly insulting towards the actors as well, pretty much implying that these guys were giant sacks of meat who slammed into each other and didn't worry about things like choreography, etc...
 

awsome117

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Piranhas 3D wasn't even that fun to much. My and my girlfriend were alone in the theater, and I could see why. It was just too stupid for me too care about. Wow, naked women, I've never seen those before! The makers of this movie are genius!

Glad a movie can be brought down to "boobies" and death.

And the death scenes were crap anyway. All you saw was the fish "eat" at them. And even then, you couldn't see it, just the after math of it.
 

Starke

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TheAngryMonkey said:
Haha easy their Captain Passive Aggressive, and you openly insulting him and calling him a "child", "..behave like an 8 year old..","Between masturbating for most of a review..","..mistaken him for an adult with rational critical abilities."
What would you classify your comments?
And the Pièce de résistance, "..called them names in the process doesn't help."
Because your just full of help, alwase taking your own advice.
Clap Clap Clap.
Yeah... that word you're using, I do not think it means what you think it does. Now, if you want to, you know, make sense, or, at least attempt to be (grammatically) coherent, please, by all means, do so. I await your input with bated breath, (or mild apathy).

Also, on the dispensing of advice: there's no 'e' in "always".
 

Caverat

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Gxas said:
In this thread: People continue their discussion of the expendables from last week because no one knows how to let anything go.
Trolls gonna troll.

Your statement about folk not letting things go would be valid if Bob himself didn't bring up the Expendables. But he did, and quite frequently, in this review.

What is wrong with Bob's love of boobage to the point where it shifts his opinions of films? The unknown thing is always the most alluring.
 

VanillaBean

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As ussual people are going to be pretty mad at Bob for things said in last weeks video. In all honesty though is it really going to kill everybody cause movie critic insulted your taste. Seriously people lets calm down a little bit, in the end you all won cause Expendables won 1 picture here in the states two weeks in a row.

Also concerning Bob's love for boobs. Bob made a list of stuff he is postivily bias towards in one of his intermissions, so we should all stop calling him a bad critic for liking a movie that has stuff he likes in it.
 

TraumaHound

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Just got back from seeing Centurion and I liked it. The battles had a grisly, visceral quality about them; the legend seemed as though it could've happened (and, for all we know, it did.) The acting was solid, the dialog believable, and the settings vast and varied. I was planning on seeing this but hadn't realized it was out yet. Thanks, MovieBob, for reminding me.

Now, whether or not to go see Piranha 3D...
 

JBJCurly

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Aug 21, 2010
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Do not see Centurion. DO NOT SEE CENTURION!!! It is thoughtless, unoriginal, and uninspired. Really. Unless you have a free ticket, do not spend money to see this movie... you have been warned.

BUT I have heard only good things about Piranha...
 
Feb 4, 2010
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Swifteye said:
You do know the biggest problem is that he insulted us for having different taste than him? And that he showed a movie that was equally bad and gave shallow reasons for why it's better? This seems pretty clear but I guess i'll add as to why that matters. It matters because he is supposed to be someone that matters and not some stupid troll. His buisness is in reviewing something. And with a little depth no less. But very often and espescially the last few weeks we've been seeing that movie bob is pretty much a giant nerd. And not the good kind. When you are someone who isn't affront about being a troll for entertainment purposes your expected to show conduct when producing something. When you go from being a random youtube user to being a person who might actually get some money to do this regularly on a website you are expected to not phone it in or slack off.

All he had to do is back up and maybe say sorry for going a little too far and we'd all be talking about the movie he should have reviewed but really didn't. You may ask us why this really matters? Well that's what a proper gentleman does. I don't intend on accepting anything less.
He gave quite a few reasons for why he liked the movie better. The fact is there's not a whole lot to say about a good mindless movie beyond "there's tits, there's blood, go see it." I'd love to see him delve deeper into what makes a good B movie but that's outside the scope of a five minute segment where he covers so much. (Though I wouldn't have minded if he dropped the second review for that purpose.)

The Expendables is shite. He insulted its audience. Deal with it. There's nothing else to be said. If he hasn't apologized then it means that he wants this discussion to happen (or at least accepts that it will). Critics do this all the time. Whether they should or they shouldn't they do and people eat it up. Everyone who's in an uproar about this is feeding the machine. If it really upsets you say your peace, stop watching and walk away. He's done it before, he will do it again, and you're as likely to hear an apology then as you are now.
 

Unesh52

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FUCKING GOD FUCKING DAMMIT I FUCKING HATE IT WHEN I WRITE A LONG FUCKING WELL CONSIDERED POST AND IT GETS FUCKING DELETED FOR NO FUCKING GODDAMN REASON FUCKINGBULLFUCKSHITDAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fuck....

OT: I kinda see where MB's coming from... he's just upset and... oh just forget it....