Explain teenage mothers to me
- Thread starter Vern5
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WorldofHarvis said:
or perhaps just like how people in their 20s/30s want kids so do they, just they are younger
yes there are a few people as you described but im willing to bet its only a very small amount of teenage mothers
There is a selection of reason, there are a fair few which do it because they see motherhood as a good objective due to how society depicts trophy wives and such, and having a family. Many do it because they get obsessed with raising a child, most likely caused by our children being given babies as toy, need I baby wee wee or whatever it was called, literally a baby that pissed it's self every so often.Vern5 said:
Many of these women are just unable to overcome the culture they are brought up with, which causes this slight obsession with child care and such.
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Having a positive outlook on life? Seeking direction or a deeper meaning perhaps? Not being able to kill an unborn child just like that? They show you nasty pictures which have been chosen to make you think otherwise... its not as easy as it sounds after you've been through that discussion at the doctors. (so i've heard)
In no way am I suggesting that everyone falls into that category (but it might've read that way).spartandude said:
I myself know young teen mothers and the majority got pregnant by mistake but their are some who generally wanted a child. Both those groups ended up in bad situations because the ones who got pregnant by mistake were left by their partners and those who actually wanted kids were unaware of the hardship that raising kids involves.
But really having kids so young is a very reckless and naive because raising them is hard work and to do it properly you will need a lot of help. (money, housing, parents etc). But if they want kids then fine, but make sure that they are aware of the hardships.
Usually when a girl does something like this they want unconditional love and they see a baby as a way to get it. My niece went through this and at one point she said that she was pregnant, and I tend to believe her (her belly was starting to show it and she even had an ultrasound) but her mother found out about everything going on and everything suddenly went quiet. I still think she forced her to have an abortion, but like all assholes in my family you can't prove a damn thing.
They confuse me just as not if not more than they confuse you, really.
But I think it's partly because when you're a kid, or teen, you don't have the same type of view on people as you do when you're older, although even then not all people break out of this way of thinking... people aren't individuals in the eyes of a child. You are more or less the center of the universe and everyone around you needs to have you in mind first and if they don't then you don't matter because you're obviously the most important thing ever. If that makes any sense.
They don't really view the reality of things, they don't understand that people aren't just other humans, they're their own individuals with their own ways of thinking and functioning, you simply can't expect everything to be as you view it because it's really not the case.
Teenage mothers probably think that having a baby is like having a pet, or worse, an accessory or a badge of "maturity" and/or independence. It gives them something that's all theirs and no one else's. Or so they think.
tl;dr: they're stupid motherfuckers and have no perception of the reality of the matter.
But I think it's partly because when you're a kid, or teen, you don't have the same type of view on people as you do when you're older, although even then not all people break out of this way of thinking... people aren't individuals in the eyes of a child. You are more or less the center of the universe and everyone around you needs to have you in mind first and if they don't then you don't matter because you're obviously the most important thing ever. If that makes any sense.
They don't really view the reality of things, they don't understand that people aren't just other humans, they're their own individuals with their own ways of thinking and functioning, you simply can't expect everything to be as you view it because it's really not the case.
Teenage mothers probably think that having a baby is like having a pet, or worse, an accessory or a badge of "maturity" and/or independence. It gives them something that's all theirs and no one else's. Or so they think.
tl;dr: they're stupid motherfuckers and have no perception of the reality of the matter.
I hate to pop the bubble of the above posters, that these girls are having babies so they can selfishly have someone to love and love them in return. But it is much much worse then that.
Overwhelmingly in the cases I witness everyday. Its girls who will not for whatever reason do what life dictates. Go to school, get job, support self.
In my country we have welfare, and for low to middle class we have the CCTB, which is lovingly and truthfully named "Baby Bonus", this monthly money is given to take care of children, whether it be child care cost or diapers, its to supplement whatever other income a mother has.
Now say mother has 2 kids and is on welfare, here in Ontario, she may get 900 to 1000 dollars. The majority of that will go to rent. (hopefully)
For two children on a low income mother Baby Bonus will be $940 or so, if the kids are under 6.
Now for my proof that these "girls" aren't having babies for someone to love.
First hand example. Girl has two kids alittle over a year apart, our welfare system on the main will leave you alone (as in not force you to at least job search with the threat of being cut off) But once children reach the age where they can attend Kindergarten, they will start suspending you monthly. So to prevent this, the winter before children start all day school and kindergarten girl get pregnant and has another child before or around school starts. Welfare fucks off again for another 4 years and Baby Bonus goes up another 500 or so dollars.
So do you see the pattern. I have seen this with not just one person I know personally but with over a dozen. The worst starting popping out kids at 15.
Overwhelmingly in the cases I witness everyday. Its girls who will not for whatever reason do what life dictates. Go to school, get job, support self.
In my country we have welfare, and for low to middle class we have the CCTB, which is lovingly and truthfully named "Baby Bonus", this monthly money is given to take care of children, whether it be child care cost or diapers, its to supplement whatever other income a mother has.
Now say mother has 2 kids and is on welfare, here in Ontario, she may get 900 to 1000 dollars. The majority of that will go to rent. (hopefully)
For two children on a low income mother Baby Bonus will be $940 or so, if the kids are under 6.
Now for my proof that these "girls" aren't having babies for someone to love.
First hand example. Girl has two kids alittle over a year apart, our welfare system on the main will leave you alone (as in not force you to at least job search with the threat of being cut off) But once children reach the age where they can attend Kindergarten, they will start suspending you monthly. So to prevent this, the winter before children start all day school and kindergarten girl get pregnant and has another child before or around school starts. Welfare fucks off again for another 4 years and Baby Bonus goes up another 500 or so dollars.
So do you see the pattern. I have seen this with not just one person I know personally but with over a dozen. The worst starting popping out kids at 15.
After an upbringing where they had not responsibilities or proper guidance, suddenly when all direction is elliviated from their life, in regards to school, they jump to the next best thing... the instinct that drives them to have a baby, to have motherhood responsibility, and a sence of duty.
These girls likely have never had much success in their life, or any sence of achievement, and the strongest feelings they have had is teenage love towards some, usually oder, guy, who has promised them the world... The choice is made for them... They can't think of anything else to do! They don't think they can get a job, they have no drive to learn a trade, they just know that because other people can have kids at that age, they must be able to as well!
Add the fact that society, from the perspective of these people, doesn't do much to dissuade them! Telly programmes like Teen Mom don't portray these young girls lives as either very good, or very bad... It doesn't necessarily gamourise teenage pregnancy, but it doesn't say 'hey you girls, you are going to fuck up your lives!' It creates an image of a safe environment, where yes, there are draw backs, but at the end of the day it all works out! Easily relatable to another young girl in a similar position!
On top of that the state, (at least the UK does) does a lot to help out young family's. Its easily phesable now to raise a kid independantly as a teen just using money given in benefits, even as a single parent! In the 70's and 80's a teenage single mother wouldn't be able to raise a kid on their own, and it would either have to be put up for adoption, or they would have to find financial support from somewhere else, be it family or friends or other!
Anyway, apologies, I have put lots of thought into this myself! I have wondered, looking at my previous school friends, exactly the same thing, and watched quite a few programmes to form an opinion! (Watch 16 and pregnant, seriously, but watch from a psychology and sociology perspective. Think about how the show would look to a 16 year old girl, who doesn't beleive she has a future! Its actually quite interesting!)
These girls likely have never had much success in their life, or any sence of achievement, and the strongest feelings they have had is teenage love towards some, usually oder, guy, who has promised them the world... The choice is made for them... They can't think of anything else to do! They don't think they can get a job, they have no drive to learn a trade, they just know that because other people can have kids at that age, they must be able to as well!
Add the fact that society, from the perspective of these people, doesn't do much to dissuade them! Telly programmes like Teen Mom don't portray these young girls lives as either very good, or very bad... It doesn't necessarily gamourise teenage pregnancy, but it doesn't say 'hey you girls, you are going to fuck up your lives!' It creates an image of a safe environment, where yes, there are draw backs, but at the end of the day it all works out! Easily relatable to another young girl in a similar position!
On top of that the state, (at least the UK does) does a lot to help out young family's. Its easily phesable now to raise a kid independantly as a teen just using money given in benefits, even as a single parent! In the 70's and 80's a teenage single mother wouldn't be able to raise a kid on their own, and it would either have to be put up for adoption, or they would have to find financial support from somewhere else, be it family or friends or other!
Anyway, apologies, I have put lots of thought into this myself! I have wondered, looking at my previous school friends, exactly the same thing, and watched quite a few programmes to form an opinion! (Watch 16 and pregnant, seriously, but watch from a psychology and sociology perspective. Think about how the show would look to a 16 year old girl, who doesn't beleive she has a future! Its actually quite interesting!)
There's also a movie called 18 Year Old Virgin. Are people encouraging others to have children at a young age or what?Otaku World Order said:
I, for one, never got the appeal of children in the first place. :/
Better that than what most of the teenage dads do. Just pretend it never happened.Vern5 said:
Also, some people want to be mothers all their lives, dont plan it, but it happens early. Should they be unhappy about it just because it happened earlier than planned?
Three ways I can think of.
1. To 'trap' a boyfriend or love interest with that person
2. For all the attention she'll get why she's pregnant or has a baby
3. Because they legitimately want a kid.
1. To 'trap' a boyfriend or love interest with that person
2. For all the attention she'll get why she's pregnant or has a baby
3. Because they legitimately want a kid.
They don't think it through. It's usually that simple. They're "young and in love" and absolutely infatuated with the idea of having a baby, but they don't consider what the real-world consequences will be.