Favorite Simpson Quotes

[quake52]

What is your favorite quote and, if possible, the episode it is from. Mine is:

HomerAfter getting a pot of water thrown on him by Mr. Burns, who had been heating it to scold him) Still cold.
Burns: Oh... Well let me get you a towel. (walks away)
(From The Trouble With Trillions)

Or

Homer: I AM NOT A NUMBER. I'M A MAN WITH THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS AND...wait I'm Number 5. In your face Number Six!
(can't remember title.)

 

[Marter]

From The Simpsons Movie:

"Spider-Pig, Spider-Pig. Does whatever a Spider-Pig does. Can he swing from a web? No he can't, He's a pig. Look out! He is the Spider-Pig!"

That was the best part for me.

 

[Dr. wonderful]

Marge: Homer, there's a man here who thinks he can help you!
Homer: Batman?!
Marge: No, he's a scientist.
Homer: Batman's a scientist.
Marge: It's not Batman!

Homer: I'm saved! And I owe it all to this feisty feline....
Lisa: Dad, a feline is a cat.
Homer: Elephant. It's an elephant, honey. And I'm sure he'll make a grand piano.

 

[Omega V]

"Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos!"-Homer, some Tree House of Horror

 

[AfterAscon]

Apu: I have come to make amends, sir. At first, I blamed you for squealing, but then I realized, it was I who wronged you. So I have come to work off my debt. I am at your service.
Homer: You're...selling what, now?
Apu: I am selling only the concept of karmic realignment.
Homer: You can't sell that! Karma can only be portioned out by the cosmos. [slams the door]
Apu: He's got me there.
Episode: Apu loses the Quik-E-Mart

 

[Ziorhon]

Marge: No Homer! You'll kill us all!
Homer: Or die trying!

 

[The_Graff]

Homer:When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power?like God must feel when he?s holding a gun.

Comic Book Guy: Last night?s ?Itchy and Scratchy Show? was, without a doubt, the worst episode *ever.* Rest assured, I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world.

can't remember the episodes, but love that Comic book guy quote.

 

[Nero09]

Police woman: This is a simple lie detector test [...] I'm gonna ask a few simple yes or no questions and all you have to do is answer truthfully, do you understand?

Homer: Yes!

"Lie detector blows up"

 

[GodofDisaster]

Homer: "I am so smart, I am so smart smrt, I mean smart."

(Can't remember the name of the episode, I think it's the one when homer returns to college.)

Homer: "That guy impressed me and I'm not easily impressed. Wow a blue car."

(Once again I can't remember the episode, sorry.)

Edit: Two more.

Homer: "Moe I need your advice, you see I've got this friend called Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabdoo."

Moe: "That's the worse name I've ever heard."

Guy runs out crying:

Barney: "Hey Joey Joe Joe."

Homer: "To start press any key. Where's the any key?"

 

[masher]

There's a leprechaun on my shoulder and he tells me to -burn- things. - Ralph

 

[Number 6]

Homer: If something happens to me, you have to carry on the Simpson name.
Bart: Screw that! When I turn grow up I'm legally changing my name to 'Joe Kickass'.
Homer: Oh my God, that is *so* cool

That episode with the bear

 

[Josh123914]

I can't think of any good ones right now but just 2 off the top of my head(from the Simpsons Game)
Lisa - we're being invaded, we need someone to save us, someone smart and with alot of inventions!
DRUMROLL AND EPIC MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND
Ralph - I drink blue juice from under the sink

and

Lisa - Professor frink, are you home?We need to talk to you.
Bart - Yeah We're selling band candy.
Lisa - No we need to tell him the truth
Bart - (holds up candy bag)I am, I need to sell this candy, alien invasion or not.
Lisa - Whatever, It looks like he's not home
Bart - (Sigh)Fine, I'll break, you enter
(Break's into Frink's Basement and start walking through it)
Bart - Wow, this place is sadder than Moe's house, and that dude is SAD

 

[Thunderhorse31]

Homer: You got any sugar around here?
Hank Scorpio: Sure (Reaches into pockets, pulls out two handfulls of sugar). You need any cream?
Homer: Err... no.

 

[quake52]

Homer: You got any sugar around here?
Hank Scorpio: Sure (Reaches into pockets, pulls out two handfulls of sugar). You need any cream?
Homer: Err... no.

Any quote from that episode fits this topic
Scorpio: Good afternoon, gentlemen. This is Scorpio. I have the Doomsday Device. You have 72 hours to deliver the gold or you'll face the consequences. And to prove I'm not bluffing, watch this. [presses a button causing a bridge to blow up in the background of the screen the gentlemen are visible in]
UN Man 1: [all the men look at the explosion] Oh My God, the Fifty-Ninth Street Bridge!
UN Man 2: Maybe it just collapsed on its own.
UN Man 1: We can't take that chance.
UN Man 2: You always say that. I want to take a chance!
Scorpio: [scoffs] Collapsed on its own--you sh...You have seventy-two hours. See ya.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Homer has just walked in on Scorpio, who is tuning a giant death ray.
Scorpio: By the way, Homer, what's your least favorite country, Italy or France?
Homer: France.
Scorpio: [laughs] Nobody ever says Italy

 

[squidbuddy99]

"He's already dead! He's already deeeeeaaaaad!"

"Oh my god, that man is my exact double! AND THAT DOG HAS A POOFY TAIL!"

"You are watching Fox!"
"WE ARE WATCHING FOX."

 

[Johanthemonster666]

Homer: "Hey Apu, where are the chips that give you diaherra?"
Apu: "Third isle on the left"
Homer: "It's that time of the year again, time to do some spring cleaning"


(From the "Simpson's Movie")

*Ralph sees Bart ride by naked of his skateboard*

Ralph- "I like men now"

 

[Snapekillsdumbledore]

"DENTAL PLAN"