Favorite Yahtzee Line on Zero Punctuation

[Ansem-The-Wise]

Let's not mince words. A game could fire white-hot shurikens from the disk drive directly into the smell center of my brain so that I perceive nothing but eggy farts for all eternity, and I would still rate it higher then Siren 1.
-Siren Blood Curse Review.

 

[Aggressor and Usurper]

"Demon'ssssssssssssss ssssouls is..."

 

[TPiddy]

I have two absolute favourites that make me laugh out loud every time:

1. From Left 4 Dead:

"It is a little frustrating as most of the time you'll be killed about as quickly as a gerbil in a speedbag..." "...There's no reason why I can't play as one of the crappy zombies while I wait, there's no need to reign in their numbers because they're like a gerbil in a speedbag full of broken glass".

2. From Resident Evil 5:

"Say my partner has an egg that I want to use, she can't just hand it to me or pop it straight into my mouth like a flirty dinner date, I have to exchange it for something of mine, use the egg, and then request my other item back, assuming she hasn't eaten it."

Just the picture of her with an AK 47 in her mouth and the word NOM above her brought me to tears laughing.

 

[WhiteFangofWhoa]

"Its like cock slapping the Mona Lisa."

Something like that, what episode was that from?

To answer your question it is from the Guitar Hero 3 Review regarding playing Classic Rock with the aforementioned 'multi-coloured, giggly, J-Pop Creature'.

Adding another to the pile of gems:

"It strikes me that in every sandbox crime game you're always roped into the same gangs, Mafia, Yakuza, or Street Gangsters, you're always banging on about respect, honor or wearing your pants around your thighs... [insert dissection of the 60s Batman here] ...it wasn't until I completed a mission where I sprayed people's houses with raw sewage than I realized that I was roleplaying as some kind of extremely unsubtle cousin to the Riddler." -Saint's Row 2

The only time a game review has caused me to accidentally inhale a drink up my nose.

 

[SamFancyPants252]

"..blasted all the way to Narnia"
and my close second
"STONKING GREAT TITS"

 

[SextusMaximus]

"Bull, Fucking, SHIT! We didn't lost contact, I was looking at them! They were etc..."

That sequence had me on the floor laughing.

What happens when this stupid arbitrary time limit runs out?! Do their suicide collars explode

Battle royale collars, but yes - that was definetly one of my favourites!

 

[TimeLord]

"Go Team Retard!"

This and "Boingo, Boingo, Whoopsy, Knickers!"

 

[Distorted Stu]

What do you mean we lost contact?! He was right fucking there! We were close enough to comunicate by wiggeling our eyebrows at eachother!

 

[matt87_50]

"Bull, Fucking, SHIT! We didn't lost contact, I was looking at them! They were etc..."

That sequence had me on the floor laughing.

yeah, my favourite quote I can think of comes at the end of that:

"As the exasperated Chinese Zoo keeper said to the last male panda on Earth: FUCK THAT!"

 

[kidigus]

Tobby Maguier's voice acting sounded like he was reading aloud a school report on his own frontal lobotomy. lololololololol

 

[The Mick]

I'm sorry but...

Spoiler

Ha ha I love that one too.

 

[Tekyro]

"It's like walking down a road in the middle of nowhere and stopping every five steps to crack yourself in the eye with a hammer...and the road is a million miles long...and the hammer is made of wank."

This, and I don't remember what review this one was from, but it started "If you ground the corpse of J.R.R. Tolkien into a fine powder..." I don't really remember the rest of it, could someone give me a hand?

Also, definitely NOT pants-on-head retarded. I hear that one so much, it's really starting to get on my nerves. Half of the people don't even know what they're quoting it from.

 

[RN7]

Air Strikes 2! Hooray for Airstrikes!

that and pretty much the rest of the mercenaries two and halo wars review.

 

[vodkainferno]

I don't know the exact line,
But it was from mad world, and it was about having enough piss to drown even the most open minded hooker...

 

[Macgyvercas]

"It's like walking down a road in the middle of nowhere and stopping every five steps to crack yourself in the eye with a hammer...and the road is a million miles long...and the hammer is made of wank."

This, and I don't remember what review this one was from, but it started "If you ground the corpse of J.R.R. Tolkien into a fine powder..." I don't really remember the rest of it, could someone give me a hand?

Also, definitely NOT pants-on-head retarded. I hear that one so much, it's really starting to get on my nerves. Half of the people don't even know what they're quoting it from.

The line is from the Witcher, and it goes: "What would you get if you took the corpse of J.J.R. Tolkien, ground it into a fine powder and snorted it off the doughy breasts of a prostitute suffering from touretts syndrome? Well, first you'd get a throat-full of dead writer, then the police will probably want to talk with you and you'll no doubt make an enemy out of Mrs. Tolkien"

And "pants on head retarded" is from the Halo 3 review, I think.

 

[BigHandInSky]

My favourites......well:

pretty much most of the Halo Wars and all of Call Of Duty, but my favourite bit was in the Bionic Commando one when he goes on about the swinging bit and what made me piss myself was when he put up the picture of Isaac Newton yelling at the commando guy "YOU ****!!"

 

[Furyaki12]

Loved the whole Scribblenauts review!

"...But as I tapped on the [ice] block to break it and it shifted slightly and I clicked the background and it was like, Fuck, my character had been waiting all day for me to do that. He flung his pick into the air and started jumping up and down like he wanted to be a clown when he grew up. I'd call him a fucking drunken spastic, but apparently those words don't exist.."

Also ADORED the little Painkiller short that played after The Witcher Review...

 

[OccamsRazor3]

Gotta be:

"But all you need to know is that there is a gun that shoots shurekins and lightning. I wish I could make this up, it shoots shurekins and lightning! It could only be more awesome if it had tits and was on fire."

 

[Bofore13]

All of them ever.

 

[Arcane Azmadi]

From his review of ESS TEE AY ELL KAY EE ARR Clear Sky:

"You couldn't get away with releasing a buggy game in the cartridge and casette days, you'd get sentanced to trampling under the company brontosaurus. But I'll tell you the worst part abouworst part abouworst part abouworst part abouworst part abouworst part abou[EXPLORER This program has performed an illegal action and will be shut down. Angry policemen are en route and resistance will only make them angrier.]and whistled for a baboon!"