Favourite simpsons quotes

[rottenbutter]

I have got a whole book full of them, where to start?

Marge: A drug? I know Bart can be rambunctious, but he's not some hyperactive monster.
(Bart appears outside the window dressed as a cheerleader)
Bart: Gimme an "F"! Gimme an "art"!
Skinner: Good lord! He's gotten into the pep closet.
Homer: I'd say he's coming out of the pep closet.

More to come.

 

[rottenbutter]

Luigi: Homer, he's out-a of control-a. he gave me a bad review. So my "friend" put a horse-a head in his bead. He ate-a the head and gave it a bad review! True story.

 

[Stagger P]

"It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times" - Mr Burns

"I call the big one Bitey" - Homer

and

Homer: I won't let them treat Poochie like dirt anymore just because he's the new guy.
Roy: Right on, Mr. S!
Homer: Put a sock in it, Roy

ah Roy.....how we miss you.

 

[L3w1s]

Chief Wiggum: "Oh my God it just disappeared! *gasp* It's a ghost car!
*Cop car screeches to a halt*
Chief Wiggum: "There are ghost cars all over these parts..."
Homer: "Hold me."
Chief Wiggum: "Only if you hold me..."

 

[Conqueror Kenny]

Lisa: Help me Buddha! Jessus! SPONGEBOB!
Buddha: Should we help her?
Spongebob: Awe, screw her!

That one. It was priceless! Topped only by "Save me Jebus!"

 

[FrankDux]

It's easily "Beer: the cause of, and solution to all of life's problems"

 

[Kaname13]

Marge: Homer it's easy to criticize.
Homer: Fun too.

[The Simpson family visits a cybercafe.]
Lisa: Wow, Dad, you're surfing like a pro!
Homer: Oh, yeah! I'm betting on Jai-alai in the Cayman Islands, I invested in something called "News Corp"...
Lisa: Dad! That's Fox!
Homer: AAHH! Undo! Undo!

 

[Fronken]

Lisa - "Im gonna have to ask mom first"
College Student - "You still live with your mom?"
Lisa - "uh, no, Its this gay guy we live with, we call him Mom"

and

"I'll have a whisky drink, i'll have a vodka drink, and if i have to pee, i'll use the kitchen sink" (Homers spoof of Song 2 by Blur)

 

[Barciad]

Lionel Hutz : "He hates me"
Marge : "Why?"
Lionel Hutz : "Cause I kinda ran over his dog"
Marge : "Kinda?"
Lionel Hutz : "Well if you replace 'dog' with 'boy' and 'kinda' with 'repeatedly'"

Homer : Help me God!!!
[phone rings - Homer picks it up]
Homer : Hello
Phone : Hello Homer, this is God....frey Jones

 

[MRMIdAS2k]

Lisa - "Im gonna have to ask mom first"
College Student - "You still live with your mom?"
Lisa - "uh, no, Its this gay guy we live with, we call him Mom"

and

"I'll have a whisky drink, i'll have a vodka drink, and if i have to pee, i'll use the kitchen sink" (Homers spoof of Song 2 by Blur)

Thats actually "Tubthumping" By Chumbawumba

 

[Duck Sandwich]

Homer: Wait a minute! Guys like me? I'm a guy like me!

Mr. Burns: What good is money if you can't inspire terror in your fellow man?

Moe: I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt... I can't compete with that stuff.

 

[Bob Loblaw]

Buddy, your car was upside down when we got here. And as for your Grandma, she shouldn't have mouthed off like that.

 

[Draguin]

Definately the episode where Homer is in the Navy and is surrounded by boats from different nations saying, "its my first day" in all the different languages.

Oh yeah also this one:
Homer: "This perpetual motion machine she made is a joke...it just keeps going faster and faster. Lisa, get in here! In this house, we obey the laws of THERMODYNAMICS!"

 

[Lord Krunk]

And of course I have to love the Max Power song.

Oh, this is my ABSOLUTE favourite:

Man (Can't remember who): Max Power! Great name!
Homer: Yeah, I got it off a hair dryer.

 

[rottenbutter]

Fat Tony: I don't get mad, I get stabby.

 

[Russian_Assassin]

Oh I remembered one more!

While being in a ready to erupt volcano, or some other bad situation

Homer: Jesus, Allah, Buddha! I love you all!

 

[newguy77]

"Oooh, so Mother Nature needs a favor?! Well maybe she should have thought of that when she was besetting us with droughts and floods and poison monkeys! Nature started the fight for survival, and now she wants to quit because she's losing. Well I say, hard cheese."
-Monty Burns

 

[Monkfish Acc.]

"You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel." Homer on the phone

I have a t-shirt of that.