Female escapists: Is shyness ever really attractive?

[RocksW]

I have to say im actually pretty surprised by most of the reactions here, I would have thought they would be a universal 'No' but there you go. Im a bit snowed under with homework tonight but I've read everyones and i'll be able to reply with a bit more detail tommorrow....

Feeling a bit more nervous about this party on friday though, I've been working in the shop for a year and a half but I've never been to any of these social things before... Im only known in the place as that guy who doesnt talk much who packs crisps really well This girl is new though so maybe she might be interested in talking to me...? Any ideas how I can get her attention in a noisy pub surrounded by loud, drunk, fun people? Never something i've been good at :L


EDIT:
Just a thought, everyone will be drinking heavily, perhaps if I mentioned I like her to somebody else they might just not so subtly blurt it out for me? Get over the initial bit? or is that a shit idea? She will be drunk probably too

 

[Dragunai]

being shy while still being a decent dude can encourage thoughts of "Well hes not a brash jerk off so theres potential"

I have no idea if thats true or not. I struggle with the same crisis of confidence as most male gamers do. Im angry, ranty and full of sarcastic rage on XBL (contributing to the sterotype!) while irl Im quiet, shy and generally a nice guy.

I guess I release my rage online... or at least thats what I tell myself ^_^

 

[Betancore]

Someone count the amount of clichéd 'be yourself' answers in this thread and I'll give them an inernetapplause.

I would do it myself. But I'm just too damn awesome.

7, I think.

And I reckon it depends on the girl. I don't know any particularly shy guys, so I can't say whether or not I find them attractive, but I'm guessing that some other girls might find it really cute and endearing, and want to take them under their wing and look after them because they're so quiet and shy. Then again, I'd probably not bother to get to know someone if they can't even work up the confidence to talk to me, unless they looked approachable or pitiable enough for me to start a conversation with them.

 

[hortez the champion of the frozen wastes]

I'm not a girl but I have found that shyness isn't attractive per-say, but a lot of girls find it endearing in people they already are attracted to.

 

[Sarah Kerrigan]

In my personal opinion, no. Outspoken guys are my favorite.

Though, it's just my opinion.

 

[hortez the champion of the frozen wastes]

Just a thought, everyone will be drinking heavily, perhaps if I mentioned I like her to somebody else they might just not so subtly blurt it out for me? Get over the initial bit? or is that a shit idea? She will be drunk probably too

I would say don't do it when she's drunk, it's just not fair to her. Also the blurting idea only really works if shes already attracted to you, so unless you are really sure and are just shy I'd say give it a miss.

 

[Sacman]

As long as your attractive than it's not shy it's "mysterious" otherwise if your shy your going to be turned down, called a weird loser and hey maybe they'll spread some nasty rumor around school about masturbating in the school bathroom so your only friends for the next 4 years don't speak English...

and no I can't be myself because myself is crap and no one likes him... I prefer Internet Chris, the one who can, at least, fake self esteem... but than again Guitar Chris has some semblance of cool since he you know plays the guitar which makes anyone cool... you know except me... but than again he is a mute so I don't know how well that would work... yes, I'm completely serious...<.<

 

[DiMono]

Depends if you're charismatically shy. If you're shy to the point of not being able to say anything to a girl, that's no good, but if you're shy but funny, that's okay.

 

[Tharwen]

Don't use it as an excuse. Shyness in this context isn't the same as awkwardness, which every experience and instinct of mine screams about for being unattractive.

 

[Naheal]

Asking if shyness is attractive to women is like asking if intelligence is attractive to men. The individual will find you attractive if they find you attractive, and that's really all there is to it.

 

[RocksW]

I added her on facebook, she seems to be one of those people who get on with everyone... I was hoping to get to know her at this party but as for actually getting her number I dont think its looking too good... How should I approach this? I am a bit awkward and dont really have a lot of friend but she doesnt have to know that...

the more i overthink this the worse it gets lol

 

[Rouse]

shyness is like cute girls. but then it depends, men like cute girls but most of the times they prefer hot girls. and a 'hot' man would be totally the opposite of shy, more like someone who easily speaks his mind. Because, you see, what women look for in a man is someone to rely on and someone who's able to deal with the problems they can't deal with, e.g. sexual harassment, if someone is flirting in an open, nasty way with her, would you go and beat the shit out of him or stay and be shy?

it really depends on the woman. but I personally don't think being shy helps a man in any kind of way. women can be shy, men are men. but most importantly, don't try to be someone you're not and fake it. that's even worse.

 

[xmbts]

Some girls find shyness cute, but I would say too much and it could be a problem, try to open up.

 

[The_Fuzz22]

Not attempting to be a TOTAL sexist, but girls on a videogames forum are the most likely people to give you a positive answer to this that might not reflect girls in general.

Before anyone gets irate, I'd like to point out that this is because you lovely ladies are open-minded enough to go against the stigma present in general society surrounding gaming.
In the same vein of thought, you're more likely to be open-minded about a person who isn't peacocking all over the place for attention.

 

[Rouse]

Thing is, women are naturally attracted to confident, independent men, for the most part. The individual foibles of the guy will vary wildly so a shy guy may very well seem great.... but the problem is, when does the shy guy ever show his interest in the girl? being shy can work, but he has to send out a bit of an "I'm confident and interested" signal in some way, otherwise he'll never get further than "friend". Your shyness may be endearing, but I'm afraid you'll have to learn to control it and get over it when you need to.

TLR version is, shyness may be fine but not when it makes the guy seem underconfident or stops him from speaking to a girl he likes and showing interest.

And now, to go off on one...

And hold on, am I the only person who is sick of all the people who bang on and on about "THE DREADED FRIEND ZONE!"? Wow, so you fucked up and getting her interests to go further than that? sure, it must be her fault for ensnaring you in her deadly web of non-sexual love and close friendship! how dare she, right?

Christ, be more grateful that at least you've found a friend, get over it, and next time you meet a girl be more outgoing and clear about it. The whole "FRIEND ZONE" thing may have some grounding in reality, but most times I hear about it it seems to be coming from jaded and slightly mysoginistic guys who can't understand why a woman doesn't like them and refuses to accept personal responsibility for fucking up...

Sorry for tangental and somewhat unrelated rant, not directed at OP or anyone in particular, this is just something I hear a lot in my day-to-day life both on and off the internet.

you just made me realise what I was trying to say in my previous post:

shyness is NOT sexy

If you're the shy type of guy you'll most likely end up as the woman's 'good friend'.
Because you do not have any sexual appeal.
Even assholes who pick up on others and joke around and can't shut their mouth for a second have more sexual appeal than someone shy, who doesn't talk too much.


The End.

 

[high_castle]

All girls are different. You'd do best to ask someone who knows this girl what she likes or doesn't like in a guy.

 

[OneOfTheMichael's]

I have a friend who is really shy except when i'm hanging out with him and there are quite a few girls who like him.
He's not looking for a relationship though.
But be yourself and ask her out.
best of luck

 

[OneOfTheMichael's]

Thing is, women are naturally attracted to confident, independent men, for the most part. The individual foibles of the guy will vary wildly so a shy guy may very well seem great.... but the problem is, when does the shy guy ever show his interest in the girl? being shy can work, but he has to send out a bit of an "I'm confident and interested" signal in some way, otherwise he'll never get further than "friend". Your shyness may be endearing, but I'm afraid you'll have to learn to control it and get over it when you need to.

TLR version is, shyness may be fine but not when it makes the guy seem underconfident or stops him from speaking to a girl he likes and showing interest.

And now, to go off on one...

And hold on, am I the only person who is sick of all the people who bang on and on about "THE DREADED FRIEND ZONE!"? Wow, so you fucked up and getting her interests to go further than that? sure, it must be her fault for ensnaring you in her deadly web of non-sexual love and close friendship! how dare she, right?

Christ, be more grateful that at least you've found a friend, get over it, and next time you meet a girl be more outgoing and clear about it. The whole "FRIEND ZONE" thing may have some grounding in reality, but most times I hear about it it seems to be coming from jaded and slightly mysoginistic guys who can't understand why a woman doesn't like them and refuses to accept personal responsibility for fucking up...

Sorry for tangental and somewhat unrelated rant, not directed at OP or anyone in particular, this is just something I hear a lot in my day-to-day life both on and off the internet.

you just made me realise what I was trying to say in my previous post:

shyness is NOT sexy

If you're the shy type of guy you'll most likely end up as the woman's 'good friend'.
Because you do not have any sexual appeal.
Even assholes who pick up on others and joke around and can't shut their mouth for a second have more sexual appeal than someone shy, who doesn't talk too much.


The End.

I wouldn't say it that no woman would ever love you if you were shy.
For example our friend who started this thread, he could just be shy with asking her out.
But if she says yes than he could get comfortable with that.
I know a good handful of girls at my school who like shy guys, and 2 that find the shy ones sexy and try to get to know them and pull away the shell they usually carry.
weird figure of speech... but it's totally NOT true that girl don't find shy guys sexy, also depends on the girl.