Fniff proves that you will not, under no circumstances, survive the zombie Apocalypse alive.

[Fniff]

Every now and again, some guy makes a thread. It is an annoying repeat thread. And it is calledwhat is your survival apocalypse plan? Note: This is a rant. Not to be taken seriously.

Now, don't get me wrong, I used to be one of these people, back when I was new to the interweb. I was always searching for a proper zombie apocalypse sim. I grew out of it, though, and forgot about it. Only now I realize what would be the proper zombie apocalypse sim. Somehow, hack into the L4D files, get rid of the weapons, give the ability to starve or dehydration, make it so that your character prays that he dies without being ripped apart or crawling on their hands and knees to get to a bit of candy underneath the fridge to find it was just a wrapper and then die. People, you cannot, I repeat, CANNOT survive the Zombie Apocalypse without leaving the country, let alone the planet. The Zombie Virus,whatever it would be, would be freaking impossible not to get, or be immunized to, since it never happened before, because everyone you know is now a zombie, or at least, going to be sooner or later . You can't get to an island, since your entire country would be quartined and you would not be able to get out. Also, what is up with the "Well, there is a gun shop up the road, I'll just steal a few guns! DUUR!". PEOPLE, THIS IS NOT AN ORIGINAL IDEA! Everyone in your district would have thought of this, taken the guns, then put a note saying "Sorry for stealing your guns, I'll buy you a beer.". So, that leaves you having to go to some gun owners house, to get some guns, only to be bitten, raped and pissed on by a zombie. So, do yourself a favor, to spare yourself in the long run, KILL YOURSELF IF YOU ARE IN A ZOMBIE SITUATION THAT IS BIG! Spare the zombies the trouble. Anyway, if you did bunker up, with your friends...It's only a matter of time until someone snaps in your party and does something bad. Then, your best friend "Alice" would go insane from the constant banging of zombies, trying to break in...Sooner or later, maybe they will...Only to find your body, with a shotgun with one bullet missing... You would have probably killed yourself in the despair of a hopeless situation, where humanity will probably flicker out like a light..

So, you will not survive, stop making plans. And repeat threads.

 

[Cherry Cola]

Fniff, you forget about one very important thing that Bill Murray taught me.

DRESS UP LIKE A ZOMBIE!

I mean, do we really know what Zombies use to figure out if you are human or not? Maybe they simply rely on vision.

 

[Fniff]

You are so dead on Z-Day.

...

That's the whole point!

 

[agiganticpanda]

Fniff, you forget about one very important thing that Bill Murray taught me.

DRESS UP LIKE A ZOMBIE!

I mean, do we really know what Zombies use to figure out if you are human or not? Maybe they simply rely on vision.

I agree with this statement.

 

[Cherry Cola]

Fniff, you forget about one very important thing that Bill Murray taught me.

DRESS UP LIKE A ZOMBIE!

I mean, do we really know what Zombies use to figure out if you are human or not? Maybe they simply rely on vision.

I agree with this statement.

Of course you do.

Because you are a Zombie that is trying to fit in!

*runs away*

 

[The_ModeRazor]

Actually, I have to survive the fucking Zombie Apocalypse every fucking day.
People can be retarded.
OT: There's not going to be a zombie apocalypse.
Someone who goes insane and very angry and degenerate from a virus is just going to die. Everyone (that is to say, zombies) would die very soon, because I said so.

 

[Jark212]

Don't feed the trolls...

Flame shield at ready...

 

[Kasawd]

Yeah, I can only agree. I'd probably load up a gun and put anyone I found out of misery just to be able to have killed someone off before the end.

Then, I'd top myself.

You have the right of it, sir. You do have to admit, though, that hitting a zombie in the face with a baseball bat or shovel would be satisfying.

 

[Fniff]

Yeah, I can only agree. I'd probably load up a gun and put anyone I found out of misery just to be able to have killed someone off before the end.

Then, I'd top myself.

You have the right of it, sir. You do have to admit, though, that hitting a zombie in the face with a baseball bat or shovel would be satisfying.

Then his or her zombie buddies overwhelm you, and you are one of the walking dead.

It's a lose/lose situation.

 

[ToxinArrow]

Speak for yourself OP.

 

[Cherry Cola]

Yeah, I can only agree. I'd probably load up a gun and put anyone I found out of misery just to be able to have killed someone off before the end.

Then, I'd top myself.

You have the right of it, sir. You do have to admit, though, that hitting a zombie in the face with a baseball bat or shovel would be satisfying.

Then his or her zombie buddies overwhelm you, and you are one of the walking dead.

It's a lose/lose situation.

Actually, that's a lose/lose/win situation.

You shovel a zombie who dies
Then you die
But tons of Zombies can go home with food in their... well... not all of them can digest food, considering that... you know, some of them might not have... innards.

 

[Herb sewell]

Why take away the weapons? I have two guns and a few hundred rounds of ammo within 15 feet of me not to mention a shed chock-full of stabby/smashy things.

 

[Kasawd]

Yeah, I can only agree. I'd probably load up a gun and put anyone I found out of misery just to be able to have killed someone off before the end.

Then, I'd top myself.

You have the right of it, sir. You do have to admit, though, that hitting a zombie in the face with a baseball bat or shovel would be satisfying.

Then his or her zombie buddies overwhelm you, and you are one of the walking dead.

It's a lose/lose situation.

I'd like to give myself enough credit to believe I wouldn't run up to the bloody hoard. I'd only take that chance were there a lone zombie.

 

[Fniff]

Yeah, I can only agree. I'd probably load up a gun and put anyone I found out of misery just to be able to have killed someone off before the end.

Then, I'd top myself.

You have the right of it, sir. You do have to admit, though, that hitting a zombie in the face with a baseball bat or shovel would be satisfying.

Then his or her zombie buddies overwhelm you, and you are one of the walking dead.

It's a lose/lose situation.

Actually, that's a lose/lose/win situation.

You shovel a zombie who dies
Then you die
But tons of Zombies can go home with food in their... well... not all of them can digest food, considering that... you know, some of them might not have... innards.

See! It just got triple bad!

 

[Kasawd]

Yeah, I can only agree. I'd probably load up a gun and put anyone I found out of misery just to be able to have killed someone off before the end.

Then, I'd top myself.

You have the right of it, sir. You do have to admit, though, that hitting a zombie in the face with a baseball bat or shovel would be satisfying.

Then his or her zombie buddies overwhelm you, and you are one of the walking dead.

It's a lose/lose situation.

Actually, that's a lose/lose/win situation.

You shovel a zombie who dies
Then you die
But tons of Zombies can go home with food in their... well... not all of them can digest food, considering that... you know, some of them might not have... innards.

Well, I guess I'd go back to the....earth?

 

[Fniff]

Why take away the weapons? I have two guns and a few hundred rounds of ammo within 15 feet of me not to mention a shed chock-full of stabby/smashy things.

Yes, but you will run out of ammo.

And if you bunker up in your house, the zombies would block the way. And if you left, you can't carry everything. You will have to get rid of some weapons for food, or water.

 

[Torque669]

If it did happen you could survive for a while if you had a weapon and you stayed to less populted areas. However eventually you would run out of food that wouldnt make you ill the second you take a bite and Old age will eventually get to you sooner or later.

 

[Nimbus]

Against shambling-type zombies, just get in a car. Instant weapon!

After that... Try to find a ferry, probably. If that's not an option, maybe a boat...

Provided the world is slow to react, a total country-wide quarantine is unlikely. Other than that, there are nearby army and navy bases I could go to. They have guns and boats and stuff.

Against zoom-bies, yeah, we're pretty much fucked unless we get guns. Luckily, I live in a relatively low population density area. This means the survivor to zombie ratio will probably be high enough to warrant a rescue rather than a nuking.