Fniff proves that you will not, under no circumstances, survive the zombie Apocalypse alive.

[Cherry Cola]

Yeah, I can only agree. I'd probably load up a gun and put anyone I found out of misery just to be able to have killed someone off before the end.

Then, I'd top myself.

You have the right of it, sir. You do have to admit, though, that hitting a zombie in the face with a baseball bat or shovel would be satisfying.

Then his or her zombie buddies overwhelm you, and you are one of the walking dead.

It's a lose/lose situation.

Actually, that's a lose/lose/win situation.

You shovel a zombie who dies
Then you die
But tons of Zombies can go home with food in their... well... not all of them can digest food, considering that... you know, some of them might not have... innards.

Well, I guess I'd go back to the....earth?

It wouldn't be a very bad way to go. At leat my remains are being involved with a mythical critter.

"Loady loady loady, I'll neva stray again!"
I'd think that your ... uhm... "remains" would be passed along form Zombie to Zombie.

They get awfully hungry ya know.

Damn it, man! You just gave me the image of two zombies frenching my remains between them. Unnatural hungers are unnatural but I would hope the zombies would decay eventually.

Now let that image be a reminder of what happens if you risk your life trying to smack a Zombie.

Do you want to be Zombie-poop when you die? (That would make the best P.S.A. quote ever)

*looks for the comment*

Did your comment get eaten?

...Are you a zombie now?

EDIT: Oh wait, there they are!

 

[Bat Vader]

You are so dead on Z-Day.

...

That's the whole point!

The people in the book World War Z seemed to have won and the odds were stacked against them.

 

[Cherry Cola]

now, excuse me if i'm being stupid, but i never got how mindless zombies know not to eat eachother. Surely it's as good of a food source as anything? (even though they only think they need food)

Basically, it would probabl-- Oh god, all this zombie survival stuff is coming back!

We can't have that! Remember that this thread is about how Zombie survival stuff is pointless.

 

[Cherry Cola]

You are so dead on Z-Day.

...

That's the whole point!

The people in the book World War Z seemed to have won and the odds were stacked against them.

Maybe that was because, oh I don't know, it's a book?

 

[orangebandguy]

All that bacteria and disease mumbo jumbo won't catch me if I run fast enough.

 

[Fniff]

You are so dead on Z-Day.

...

That's the whole point!

The people in the book World War Z seemed to have won and the odds were stacked against them.

Yeah, but they live in a descrated world where the zombies still exist. And they got off lucky.

now, excuse me if i'm being stupid, but i never got how mindless zombies know not to eat eachother. Surely it's as good of a food source as anything? (even though they only think they need food)

Basically, it would probabl-- Oh god, all this zombie survival stuff is coming back!

We can't have that! Remember that this thread is about how Zombie survival stuff is pointless.

OK, I am back.

 

[Cherry Cola]

You are so dead on Z-Day.

...

That's the whole point!

The people in the book World War Z seemed to have won and the odds were stacked against them.

Yeah, but they live in a descrated world where the zombies still exist. And they got off lucky.

now, excuse me if i'm being stupid, but i never got how mindless zombies know not to eat eachother. Surely it's as good of a food source as anything? (even though they only think they need food)

Basically, it would probabl-- Oh god, all this zombie survival stuff is coming back!

We can't have that! Remember that this thread is about how Zombie survival stuff is pointless.

OK, I am back.

Good. Now start preparing to die quickly for when the Zombie apocalypse comes.

I have to secure tickets to Alaska.

 

[AkJay]

I think I saw a Cracked article a few months back basically summarizing the same thing you have, Fniff.

Yea, not exactly what you stated, but still a fun read.
NOT ADVERTISING.

Spoiler

http://www.cracked.com/article/126_5-popular-zombie-survival-tactics-that-will-get-you-killed/
http://www.cracked.com/blog/whats-your-zombie-contingency-plan-11-practical-strategies

 

[Fniff]

I think I saw a Cracked article a few months back basically summarizing the same thing you have, Fniff.

...

Your avatar scares me.

*Hides behind couch*

 

[TheLastCylon]

You're wrongly assuming the zombie apocalypse hasn't happened before.

 

[Jaranja]

reading this post just made me a little bit depressed.

i think that humans could easily win against zombies, we have america. the ultimate weapon.

Not really, they'd probably just end up shooting each other.

Or they'd attack Mongolia or something.

 

[Fniff]

You're wrongly assuming the zombie apocalypse hasn't happened before.

..

How are we still alive?!

 

[Cherry Cola]

reading this post just made me a little bit depressed.

i think that humans could easily win against zombies, we have america. the ultimate weapon.

Not really, they'd probably just end up shooting each other.

Or they'd attack Mongolia or something.

I can see it in front of me already...

U.S.A.: What, we where bombing the Zombies!
A smart person: But there are no Zombies in Mongolia
U.S.A: Yes there are!
A smart person:.... where you looking for oil again?
U.S.A: .... OMGTEHZOMBIESARECOMINGGOTTAGO!

 

[Cherry Cola]

You're wrongly assuming the zombie apocalypse hasn't happened before.

..

How are we still alive?!

Because of... uuhm..... God!

All hail the glory of the Deus ex Machina!

 

[Fniff]

You're wrongly assuming the zombie apocalypse hasn't happened before.

..

How are we still alive?!

Because of... uuhm..... God!

All hail the glory of the Deus ex Machina!

Yeaah...

OHFUCKZOMBIES!

 

[TheLastCylon]

You're wrongly assuming the zombie apocalypse hasn't happened before.

..

How are we still alive?!

We *tear falls from eye* rebuilt.

 

[ArcWinter]

What if your plan is "run fast"? That can never fail!

 

[-BloodRush-]

why do people assume guns are the way to go anyway? they are loud, and will attract the zombie horde to your position.

all you need to do is destroy the brain. any blunt object will do.

all one needs to do to survive is secure food for an unspecified amount of time. either help comes, or you take a risk and try to escape your situation.

you dont really need to board yourself up, just find a high place zombies cant get to.

 

[-BloodRush-]

You're wrongly assuming the zombie apocalypse hasn't happened before.

..

How are we still alive?!

We *tear falls from eye* rebuilt.

you know that flood from the bible? it was actually zombies.

 

[Fniff]

What if your plan is "run fast"? That can never fail!

Except if they are more zombies then you.

Then you fail. Hard.