Fortunately, Unfortunately

[Vesuvius Hetlan]

Fortunately, you have a thesaurus and easily able to reclassify the Hoodlum and rapscallions into something else.

Unfortunately the only word the thesaurus has in it is rapist and space marine. (Choose wisely who get's what name...)

 

[M0rp43vs]

Fortunately you prepared a lightsaber that would dispatch these two without fail.
Unfortunately it is left behind in the flooded dimension and because of an oversight by the stupid designer you cannot pass this section without it.
No you can't use the thesaurus as a bludgeoning weapon
No you can't use the gun in your pocket on them, you have to save it for the section with the zombie in your bathroom later
No you can't just punch-Listen when I said stupid designer, I mean stupid designer

The muggers are approaching you slowly...

 

[Yuno Gasai]

Fortunately, you've dealt with this kind of thing before, and are able to avoid being raped mercilessly and slaughtered brutally by Space Marines.

Unfortunately, you didn't realize that rapists and Space Marines aren't the only inhabitants of the level you're on. You're now face-to-face with a strange tentacle demon which seems to have captured a Japanese schoolgirl, and is now setting its grotesque sights on you.

 

[Vesuvius Hetlan]

Fortunately you manage to save the japanese schoolgirl from the tentacle monster and get away.

Unfortunately the Japanese schoolgirl was a super assassin sent to kill you.

 

[Heartcafe]

Fortunately, you were a J-pop idol and entranced the schoolgirl with your BAMF dance skills and incredible hair-do

Unfortunately, this means the only chicks you will be getting are underage and their fathers/boyfriends are plotting your painful demise.

 

[Vesuvius Hetlan]

Fortunately you manage to seduce their fathers/boyfriends.

Unfortunately you manage to seduce their fathers/boyfriends.

 

[Kieros]

Fortunately, you packed an umbrella.
Unfortunately, it was a new folding variety. That you packed in the wallet.

 

[M0rp43vs]

But hey, it's not like the rain is gonna kill ya or anything.
Unfortunately, The rain is trying kill you. Each raindrop contains tiny Steven Seagal out for your blood. And the rain is acid rain

 

[puffy786]

Fortunately, your jacket is soaked in Applied Phlebotinum that is acid proof.
Unfourtantley, the Phlebotinum has shut down and you're running low.

 

[Rooster893]

Fortunately, you happen to have a spare in your back pocket.

Unfortunately, it fell out.

 

[Rooster893]

Fortunately, you see there is a chriopractor office a couple of doors over.

Unfortunately, when you shimmy inside, you see no one is in there.

 

[mcpop9]

Fortunately you didn't see anyone in there
unfortunately its a ninja on the ceiling and is about to slit your throat

 

[Rooster893]

Fortunately, you happen to know fisticuffs, and take him down right away.

Unfortunately, because of said fisticuffs, your back is broken even more.

 

[M0rp43vs]

But hey, it's not like having your spine bent 90 degrees is gonna kill you. Right?

Unfortunately, you are late for a date across town and you're pretty sure she isn't into hunchbacks