Fun ways to answer the phone

[XJ-0461]

"I'm trying to defuse a bomb, what do you want? Wha- Great, now The south East of England has blown up. I hope you're happy."

Yes, yes I am. I'm in Canada so the southeast of England doesn't concern me.

Ah, but if the South East of England is gone, then Buckingham Palace and the Queen are gone, and you'll have nothing to put on the back of your coins.

 

[StrangerMouse]

"Watson, come here, I want you!"

 

[RathWolf]

*In demon/Dr. Claw voice*
"Ah, hello. I've been expecting you"

 

[superbatranger]

I answer making perverted noises then going ''ohh, stop it someones on the phone- Hello?''.

I can just imagine at least one person saying "Nooo, don't stop!"

As for me, my voicemail for a while was me saying "Hello" then they'd start talking in and 15-20 seconds later they'd hear "I am so sorry to inform you that the person you are trying to reach is currently unavailable. Please hang up and try again later." And when I answered the phone it was usually "City Morgue. You stab 'em, we bag 'em." or I'd ask if it was a secure line. Most of them would be confused so I'd say "Are you trying to sell me out to the Russians?!". Good times, shame some of the ones we've mentioned doesn't translate well into Spanish. I'd definitely use them.

 

[Zayren]

the one i do the most is:
Mikes taxidermy you kill 'em we stuff 'em

If I might make a suggestion, ser. Use fill'em instead of stuff'em.


I just had a brilliant idea.
"Is it safe?"

Edit: Damn ninjas.

 

[Nouw]

"*do the best English ************ do you speak it impression you can"

 

[katsabas]

Hulk's Deli. You order, we smash.

 

[macuKAT]

Errrrm, well for people that try to advertise, I usually just starting trying to sell THEM things, like *hey man! wanna buy some lemonade?* or try and sell them the same product there trying to sell me.

 

[macuKAT]

OR repeat what they say ^^ totally annoying.

 

[Yarggg]

*Indian voice*
"Hello, Would you like to buy a phone?"
Telemarketers are the most annoying people on earth, but luckily for me i have a phone plan that blocks them out.

 

[Davey Woo]

If I get people trying to sell stuff I just don't say a word. It's always interesting to see how persistent they are.
I had a guy talk non stop for 5 minutes before pausing and going "Wait.... Is anyone there...?"

 

[Revolutionary]

Spreken Zu Deutch?...Hallo?
Geficten Aschloch! (sorry about the horrible spelling)

 

[Crystal Cuckoo]

"No she's dead, this is her son."

Cookie for reference.

 

[Optimus Hagrid]

"Mother no longer resides here.

Not ever since...

...THE INCIDENT."

 

[Greenwolf]

"Billy Bob's minimum security prison and gun store, how may I direct your call?"

Alternatively

"Franks house of erotic cheese art, what can I Do for you?"

 

[crudus]

"Joe's Bar&Grill. Grill speaking"

"Thank you for calling the Department of Temporal Anomalies. Please leave your message before the beep"

"Banana phone"

"Batcave"

"City Mogue, you stab'em we slab'em"

I have another involving an Abortion Clinic that will be frowned upon here.

 

[Jacob O'Neill]

Personal Favorite,

"Hello, Happy Haven, May All Your Dreams Be Wet One's"

 

[bartman675]

the one i do the most is:
Mikes taxidermy you kill 'em we stuff 'em

If I might make a suggestion, ser. Use fill'em instead of stuff'em.


I just had a brilliant idea.
"Is it safe?"

Edit: Damn ninjas.

good point sir