Funniest thing you have heard a teacher/boss say

[GrimTuesday]

My English teacher called lady Macbeth a "festering gutter-****" best class ever, he was acctualy up for teacher of the year in Washington state a few years ago.

 

[comadorcrack]

Y11 Geography.

I've always had an Issue with black

 

[The Jono]

After spending a lesson pratting around and generally raising a teacher's blood pressure she took us outside and, after a long and rambling speech,uttered those immortal words "You will never stop me teaching"
Ohoh, I think we might.

 

[Sacman]

On a standardized test day my teacher was playing The Legend Of Zelda on the gameboy until right in the middle of the test when it was all silent he screamed, "God Fucking Damnit!!! Why won't you die?!!?!!" and proceeded to bite the top screen and sit there for another hour looking bored as hell... it was hilarious but it was my gameboy...

 

[Viper1265]

Just today my chemistry teacher got talking to the class on how if they ever need to dispose of a body they should put it in a barrel of sodium hydroxide.

 

[zerzxes]

My spanish teacher replied to one of those who can't just shut their mouths like 3 times after they are supposed to: "Fuck you"

Or very much another teacher ever say because we have spent several lessons discussing cell phones and youtube videos.

 

[igan]

in one of my math classes, as per usual, kids were fiddling and mucking around, and, my very christian teacher, getting his words mixed up, yelled loudly at the class "stop fucking around!"

also, memories come up of many lessons talking about valve games and zombie appocalypses with my new religeon and math teacher.

 

[Project .hack]

My 11th Grade AP Lang teacher had the voice of a 13 year old shy girl and a very radiant smile/attitude and was always like amazingly nice yet strict. I was always a smart ass in that class and one day I said something to the contrary of what she was trying to teach. It was about taking time during the AP test. I said something out loud and she just looked at me and smiled. "Michael, keep talking and I'll throw you off the balcony and then run you over with my car." Honestly, that was the scariest thing I've ever seen, yet it was also one of the funniest.

 

[rafalian]

First day of class my Political Science teacher was making sure the microphone was on in the front of the class.

"Is this thing on?"
"All your base are belong to us, all your base are belong to us."

 

[Kuchinawa212]

Can't...contain...any...BWAHAHAHAHA!

He is awesome.

If you can think of any other preists that go onto Urban Dictionary.com or has a Ask-a-me Jesus on their desks, then yes he is pretty awesome

 

[Jesterz]

My maths teacher tried to help up remember the Sigma (&#8721 sign by saying "It kind of looks like a sideways crab." I turned to my friend and we started laughing our heads off. She didn't understand what was so funny.

 

[Cabaedium]

one weekend when my gf was out of town, my boss walks up to me at work and says "you know, if you wanna get married, i'm technically ordained...."

i was totally shocked, so i was like "what?" and he says "you know, to your hand! you guys have been spending so much time together lately "

 

[Flack]

I had a physics teacher who was telling us when he died, he wanted to be cremated and shot into the atmosphere so everyone would end up breathing him in.

Our reply?

"Causes thats the only way you'll get inside a woman"
He was a good sport and laughed along


Also my boss and my workmate were talking to this lady who comes in regulary that my workmate was attracted to;

Workmate: Hey girl its my bitrhday today!
Girl: Oh really? Happy birthday!
Boss: Can you belive it? 23 and still a virgin!
Girl: *embarrased face*
Workmate: *storms off*

was he trying to help the workmate by saying that? Or was he just joking to embarrass him.

Just trying to embarras him. Hes a bit of a jerk.

 

[Unstoppable Wall]

Well I wasn't personally in the class, but my History/Geography (yes our school is that poor) teacher (who by the way is almost holy due to being so frickin awesome) is telling the class that there is a quiz on friday and this one girl who is kinda durrrr! says "Is that like a test?" Teacher pauses at the stupidity for a moment says "Wait wha- Jessica just shut the hell up!, anyway we have a quiz on friday which YES is like a test." Not to mention all the stories he has about when he was in the army or growing up, it's a wonder the guy's alive. I'm confident he's the best damn teacher I'll meet.

Peace,War,Love,Hate,Chaos and Greed
-Unstoppable Wall

 

[Death2Nite]

We were getting our lockers in PE and when I walked into my gym teachers office, one of the other teachers came in, farted, and walked out. Everyone was like 0_o

 

[Zetona]

Algebra 2, back in eighth grade:

"So we take b over a...Spencer, get your fingers out of Kevin's hair!"

At that moment, a voice over the PA:

"Is Spencer there?"

Response:

"HE SURE IS!"

 

[Uber Evil]

Not very funny or anything, but my Language Arts teacher, after we got done with what we had to do, let one of the kids in the class watch "Erasing Racism [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oI7SaAh0JjM]" on Youtube, and didn't really care, just laughed.