Gaming headlines from an ALTERNATE DIMENSION!

[ElArabDeMagnifico]

Sony fanboys stop getting their knickers in a knot over FFVIII coming to the 360
"We just thought that there were far more important things in life to worry about, more than a game of all things" - says 11 yr old male fanboy

MGS4 comes to 360, Sony and PS3 fans rejoice that their fellow gamers will finally get a taste for Solid Snake
"I just didn't think it was fair that only gamers who had more money than sense to buy a PS3 should only be able to play MGS4, I'm glad now that everyone will be able to experience MGS4, except Wii owners, for obvious reasons" -remarks MGS4 creator Hideo Kojima

Wow. In your dimension the Ps3 is actually the least valuable choice? What sort of twisted world is that?

It's not really an alternate dimension tbh because even in this dimension we live in the PS3 is the least valuble choice, it just happens to be even more of a least valuble choice there

Ah, I see. You are posting from the biazarro world.
Do I need to go over the value of the Ps3?

Nah you're alright, I've read one of your topics already, I can't win against fanboyism, common sense or reason is no match.

Golden Rule #5 [http://www.destructoid.com/ten-golden-rules-of-videogame-fanboyism-83502.phtml]

Call everyone else a fanboy before they call you one!

Both of you shut the fuck up about what you think is a good value please, and keep the rest of your argument about which system is better in a PM convo or something, maybe "walking contradiction's' "I am right and you are wrong!" mentality and Indigo_Dingo's 'Don't talk that way about my system!" attitude can cause the world to implode if you keep it in one concentrated place.

THIS JUST IN, EVERYONE PULLS THEIR HEAD OUT THEIR ASS AND GAMING CULTURE IS NO LONGER FROWNED UPON! PRAISE BE!

 

[Dr Pussymagnet]

ESA lawyer Jack Thompson wins landmark case. Details at 11.

dont even joke like that

 

[ElArabDeMagnifico]

THIS JUST IN, EVERYONE PULLS THEIR HEAD OUT THEIR ASS AND GAMING CULTURE IS NO LONGER FROWNED UPON! PRAISE BE!

So its a crime to correct people?

You intended to correct a person but you ended up feeding a troll, causing another system war battlefield to spur out of nowhere because Walking Contradiction decided to attack the PS3, I wouldn't call it a "crime" to correct someone but I wouldn't call it a good idea if someone says something that implies they have some sort of agenda. (Key warning phrase should have been "More money than sense to buy a PS3")

Fanboys, Trolls, and other system war advocates everywhere apologize for their sins committed against the rest of the world, and will hold a simultaneous worldwide ritual suicide in a month; those caught between the flames will have a memorial set up for them - more details at 11

 

[Asymptote Angel]

South Korea ends the North Korean nuclear threat by Zerg rushing Kim Jong-Il.

That's really terrible, but I confess I did laugh.

Devil May Cry 5 to Have a Likeable Protagonist

Guitar Hero Fans Realize That Holding Down More Than One Fret on the Same String on a Real Guitar Does Not Make a Chord

After Playing BioShock, Players and Critics Decide That Video Games Cannot Have Meaningful Stories

 

[Unknower]

Eidos' new Thief game's depiction of Garret as a heavily armoured dual machine gun wielding badass praised as "new and exiting way of moving the franchise forward."

Military relieved after finding out what players mean with "RPG." Missile strikes to studios which make RPGs have decreased, though raids by special forces might still occur, "just in case."

Yahtzee admits he was mistaken.

I think stating "Please shut up about Flak Towers" in the credits after saying in his previous review that "I'm also pretty sure Nazis didn't have a gigantic armoured concrete tower that could only be described as Doom Fortress" counts as admitting a mistake.

 

[Hells Hand]

The pope admits to his love of the Rumble Roses franchise.

 

[SteinFaust]

Eidos' new Thief game's depiction of Garret as a heavily armoured dual machine gun wielding badass praised as "new and exiting way of moving the franchise forward."

Military relieved after finding out what players mean with "RPG." Missile strikes to studios which make RPGs have decreased, though raids by special forces might still occur, "just in case."

Yahtzee admits he was mistaken.

I think stating "Please shut up about Flak Towers" in the credits after saying in his previous review that "I'm also pretty sure Nazis didn't have a gigantic armoured concrete tower that could only be described as Doom Fortress" counts as admitting a mistake.

HAHAHA i love that one! i love talking loudly about RPGs in public and about how i play with them all the time, and watching non-gamers' horrified faces as i count how many i have XD

..and yes,yes historical accuracy and all that but who wouldn't want a doom fortress? especially one like Yahtzee made with the pirate flag on it?

 

[The Inev]

First Person Shooters: A Dying Genre?
The Industry's Thoughts on a Narrowing Market
By Jeff Gerstmann

July 29, 2008 - It's coming up on a full year since Halo 3 was released to mediocre reviews and disappointing sales, and people are asking themselves: does the First Person Shooter die with its last champion? It certainly seems so. With the proliferation of Point-and-Click Adventures in the late 90's, and with a vast variety of Platformers and Art Games clogging up the shelves, the market share for FPS games has been pushed more and more to the wayside. How can these increasingly rare niche games, such as the upcoming Duke Nukem Forever, compete? "It's not always about the storyline," says Cevat Yerli, president of indie game studio Crytek. "Sometimes it's about the graphics. The player who wants to stop thinking, just let himself into visceral feeling of combat: that's the kind of player we cater to."

"That kind of player is a vanishing breed," he adds.

First Person Shooters seem to be fighting a battle on all fronts just to survive. Roger Ebert, film critic and outspoken supporter of Art Games, has clashed numerous times with FPS advocate and iconoclast Jack Tho

Read the Rest of this Article [...]

 

[J'aen]

..and yes,yes historical accuracy and all that but who wouldn't want a doom fortress? especially one like Yahtzee made with the pirate flag on it?

The point was, Flak towers were Doom Fortresses, especially the last few.

 

[Inverse Skies]

Microsoft realise Halo is, in fact, just a generic Sci-fi story and shouldn't be milked.

Now that WOULD be from an alternative dimension.

WoW players realise they're wasting their lives, go outside to experience the sun again. (No offence)

Yahtzee actually enjoys a game for once

Nintendo release latest game in the US before Japan (that'll NEVER happen...)

Developers give up on Wii, realise it's too gimmicky

 

[sheic99]

Nintendo stops milking Mario.

 

[NewGeekPhilosopher]

One of the novels I was working on was set in an ALTERNATE DIMENSION which traded with Earth. In the book a Necromancer files a class action suit against his planet's division of Blizzard because he was tired of his profession being depicted as a perversion of nature in the Warcraft games. As a result the PR men encourage him to sell his merchandise rights to a Hello Kitty-like company who make him a chibi cartoon character whose face is plastered over stationery and clothing items.

Anyway, on with the ALTERNATE DIMENSION news items:

Noby Noby Boy creator found innocent of drugs possession charges because he made the whole game up in his perfectly reasonable imagination.

Peggle declared "The most awesome game of all time, and a deep hardcore experience that exceeds even Contra" by Maddox, as he releases his new book "The Alphabet of SNAG-Liness", in which he declares his entire career of scorning society "A mean awful mistake" for which he must make up for in "warm fuzzy hugs".

Final Fantasy 13 declared the Last Game in the Series, Square-Enix adds that it will be making more non-sequel games due to the success of The World Ends With You.

Nintendo releases the Wii 2: A $700 AUS gaming rig which has Blu-Ray technology, and sells for more than the $300 AUS PS3, which is going steadily in friendly competition with Microsoft's J-RPG-Box, designed to cater to America's never ceasing demand for Japanese RPGs. In other news, Fallout 4 is cancelled.

 

[Acid Armageddon]

Xbox 360 console reported to have 0.1% failure rate.

i wish.....I've had 3 systems break on me, then bought one from a friend, and that one makes circular scratches on the disks! Ohh If only i could sue and win!

 

[rohit9891]

Daily top 10 headlines from the other dimensions:

1)Halo Wars releases on PC...good work by ensemble(which isnt shut down in that univesre)
2)MS gives games for less than $ 10
3)Windows Vista voted the best os of the millenium
4)Resident Evil 9 bannes by the galactic federation as it is considered an alien racist(whatever name they give to it)
5)Bioshock 5 teaser:little girl(probably a little sister) standing in antartica
6)UT 4 dinosaur pack set to release(who knew we could get to play as ten foot tall badass t-rex)
7)Mr.bean game banned in australia due to xtremely violent content
8)Mass Effect 3 producer:Shepherd is back and is ready to kick some sheep ass
9)sam & max season 67 ep 2:marcus fenix must die
10)Halo 4 teaser:Master chief removes helmet(free xbox 1080 with every prebooked copy)

 

[antipunt]

"Surprise! Sims 3 is actually being released tomorrow instead of June!", says headlines

 

[bkd69]

"Tonight, on ESPN Sportscenter, it's March Madness, and we'll be looking at the final four in the NCAA Dwarven Fortress tournament!"