Gaming headlines from an ALTERNATE DIMENSION!

[Crystal Cuckoo]

"Square Enix ditches Final Fantasy!"
"Sony unveils low-price console!"
"Valve criticised as being "Worst game developed EVAR"."
"Halo 3 extremely underrated!"

 

[shatnershaman]

Sony admits PSP2 is under development.

Playstation Store to now include PSP Homebrew.

Infinity Ward to work on new IP after finishing Call of Duty X:Modern Warfare 4.

New PSP2 to use SD cards.

 

[Singularly Datarific]

Window's fans complain about lac of games for it, saying that everything is for Macintosh.
"Why can't Valve release a game out of the Macintosh OS?" asks a curious window's owner.

 

[Ravenholm27]

"NINTENDO IS SUED BY HOUSE WIFES FOR HAVING TOO MANY A-O GAMES ON THE WII"

 

[The Great JT]

Psychonauts Voted "Least Innovative".
Halo 3's Combat Balanced After New Weapons Introduced, Team Fortress 2 Player Base Ragequits To 360.
Dreamcast4 In The Works, Sony Closes Its Doors After Playstation Flops.
Atari Fans Break Into CEO's House, Give Him Hugs.
Gordan Freeman No Longer Main Character Of Half-Life, HL3 To Focus Around Gordan Frohman.
Mario Killed In Bloods/Crips Gunfire, Luigi Flees Country.
Sonic Team Wins Best Game Developers For Tenth Straight Year, Sonic vs. Black Knight Slated To Surpass 50 Cent: Blood In The Sand On Release Day Sales.

 

[Papopapo456]

VALVe stop producing videogames after a long history of bitterly bad games.

 

[J9387]

A release date announced for Golden Sun 3 (If only)
EA announces the discontinuation of the Madden Franchise

 

[DirkGently]

Console RTS Doesn't Suck.

Massively popular FPS, Call of The Gears of Halo, does not receive any criticism, has balanced online play and good skill-matchmaking service.

Microsoft releases software updates to allow all Xbox users to install 3rd party and community mods to their games.

Bethesda Hires Alec Baldwin for TES:V, doesn't kill him off before the tutorial ends.

Main Storyline of Fallout 4 Doesn't Suck.

Latest Version of Xbox360 Actually Repairs Discs.

 

[Endangered Puma]

FF7's Aries celebrates her 34th birthday this weekend.

Television sets are responcible for breaking thousands of Wiimotes since their arrival. Samsung sends a reminder to always use proper TV straps.

The red ring of life has just cured AIDS.

Carmen Sandiego was found outside of New Jeresy on Tuesday.

Little Big Planet was just taken off the market on account of it having intence drug promotion, explicit nudity and foul language.

 

[jsd379]

Patch downloads decided to be completely usesless, since all games are tested to perfection.

 

[SenseOfTumour]

Sports game slated for not enough comedy hats in the custom character mode.
Developers admit 'Sorry, we wasted too much time on gameplay'.

GTA 5 optimised for PC play and scalable to run on an average PC.

Lapsed WOW players 'admit to enjoying their time in Azeroth' reports state.

Peggle sequel to come on BluRay only, due to space needed for all the HD fmv plot sequences.

Metal Gear Solid 5 slated by critics - 'Its like they just didn't bother to write a plot, you're just dumped into the action and expected to play it!'

FIFA and Madden 2010 both take new Japanese turn based RPG angle - creative spokesman says 'We felt the series was getting stale and needed some innovation.'

Half Life 3 news - Gordon Freeman, the famed silent protagonist to be voiced by Yahtzee. Valve Spokesman states 'We just couldn't think of anyone with less to say in the gaming industry.'

Halo movie sweeps the board at Oscars, including Best Director for Uwe Boll.

Daily Mail gives free GTA collection to every reader - no tokens to collect! In other news, video games increase your child's school grades and help them lose weight.

 

[SenseOfTumour]

Yeah, I'm just bitter that I risked buying it, foolishly knowing I scraped in *just* under min specs, and I can't run it at even 1fps, but that's my fault for optimism, still feeling like it runs as tho its running GTA4 on a PS3 emulator.

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

"Jack Thompson throws his full support behind video games!"
"Blizzard has started work on something that isn't Warcraft, Starcraft, or Diablo!"
"MMORPG's are great for their amazing story and complete lack of grind!"
"A game set in a war other than WW2!"
"Metal Gear Solid 5 has NO cutscenes!"

 

[Booze Zombie]

"Brutal Legend realeased today!"

 

[Booze Zombie]

How can I get to this dimension?

I think Jack Daniels can take you there.