"get back in the kitchen"

[Deity1986]

There was also that female MP who recently said there should be measures to get more women into the higher political positions to 'keep an eye on the men'.
I think Ann Widdecombe luckily stepped forward to point out the flaws to this approach.

 

[SnowCold]

What's that big deal? If he tell's you to go to the kitchen, go to the kitchen.

Spoiler

so you can get a knife and stab him in the face

 

[dietpeachsnapple]

Lots of opinions and some pretty solid ideas already, but here are my two cents.

Everyone has different tastes, desires, and ambitions.

TRUST me, there are guys out there who will embrace your desire to raise children and care for a home.

If you want a guy who will embrace your career ambitions, there are guys like that out there as well.

The MOST important thing is that you know what YOU want in a relationship. Know what you want, communicate that to your partner, and make sure they understand your position. A good mate will either be on board, or accommodate you to the best of their abilities.

I am prone to think that the same fellows that embrace your position at home are also likely take that work for granted. Do seek to temper their open-mindedness to traditional family structure with active gratitude for the labors therein provided. Being in a relationship requires mutual respect.

*reads back over - cuts out most opinion/speculation* Good.

Take care!

 

[dietpeachsnapple]

Women may also work, but there are exceptionally few home-fathers who do the housework, cook, shop, care for children etc.

That's because the divorce rates skyrocket when the woman is the breadwinner.

Spoiler: Here's the link.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-467390/Househusband-backlash-high-flying-wives-ditch-men-em-em-wanted-stay-home.html

Most men are becoming aware of this fact and refuse to let the woman be the breadwinner in spite of how much sense it makes on paper (i.e when the woman has the higher-paying job and is more likely to advance in the company).

And those men are irrational.

They have allowed some visceral reaction to over-ride their common sense and what is best for their family in favor of their emotional reaction.

 

[Sark]

Here is my opinion on opinions. If you don't value someone, it shouldn't matter what they say or think about you. Always do what you think is right or the best thing for you, and if somebody disagrees with the decisions that you make then you should decide whether or not that person or groups opinion should have any affect of your life.

 

[Sparrow]

Well, my mom worked and so did my dad, and now I have both an Xbox 360 and a PS3... so the kids win..

This guy ended the thread before it started, really.

Work more folks, and get your kids the best of both worlds.

 

[dietpeachsnapple]

As a personal aside:

I have been told on MANY occasions, "I mean no offense, but you are going to make a great wife some day."

I am a six foot tall male with a large frame (not fat, I am only 180lbs).

I like cooking, cleaning, organizing things, playing with little kids, and... well yeah. People always catch me doing stuff like that and so compliment me on my potential for being a good wife. This first of all speaks to the nature of how we define the "wife" role, but also the ability to break that mold.

I do not PLAN to be a house husband, but if I ever end up married, and unemployed, I will be a damn fine one and be happy enough.

 

[Harlemura]

Do you want to be normal?

?

I think it's like saying "This." only they're too lazy to even say that.

Anyway.
I've seen a lot about equality and stuff like that, but I've never thought about it this way.
I think whatever you choose, just listen to the people who aren't telling you what you've done is wrong. Some people probably think murder and rape is right, so it's impossible to keep every single person happy.

 

[Axle_Bullitt_19]

How ever you both compliment each other the best is how it should be. Also I don't see how being the one in charge of making sure that which you own is presentable is a damining task.

 

[Toasty]

As a personal aside:

I have been told on MANY occasions, "I mean no offense, but you are going to make a great wife some day."

I am a six foot tall male with a large frame (not fat, I am only 180lbs).

I like cooking, cleaning, organizing things, playing with little kids, and... well yeah. People always catch me doing stuff like that and so compliment me on my potential for being a good wife. This first of all speaks to the nature of how we define the "wife" role, but also the ability to break that mold.

I do not PLAN to be a house husband, but if I ever end up married, and unemployed, I will be a damn fine one and be happy enough.

Good for you.
In today's society and economy both adults are likely to NEED to work. I just dont agree that roles should be determined by gender, eg 'housewife' and 'breadwinner' men should not feel that they arent 'real men' if they arent the main earner and that role should not be forced upon them as much as women should not be pressured to take on the role of 'housewife'.
No matter the gender some individuals will be better at some things than others and they should choose to do what they want to.......even sharing roles.

 

[dogmaster41]

The men who say that kind of thing aren't real men.

You have to find a real man who isn't going to abuse his position as the sole breadwinner if you want to stay home.

Real feminism is about having the choice to either work at home or work in the public sphere and to be expected to be compensated equally. Today's feminism has been twisted into something else.

I agree with you copmpletely........
Even if I don't want you to do something, I can't stop you, So I might as well back you up on it.

Unless it's something that could hurt you or others......... Then I Will Not Allow it
Or at least try to convince you not to do it

 

[Susan Arendt]

If you're in a position where the family can be comfortable on just one salary, then it's wonderful for kids to be raised by a parent instead of day care. Unfortunately, that's rarely possible in this day and age. Both adults usually have to work just to make ends meet.

I know a few "kept" women, who are solely supported by their men and every single one of them is bored stiff. That said, none of them have children, which would naturally take up a great deal of their time.

In the end, no matter what choice you and your partner make, someone is going to think you're wrong. I chose long ago not to have children and still get comments about it. Everything from "you'll change your mind" to "Why not? Do you have medical problems?" But it's your life, and your choices to make. Other people's opinions don't matter a bit.

 

[Jedoro]

Frankly, fuck being normal. Fuck what feminists think about your choice, and fuck what chauvinists think about it. The only person's opinion you'll have to worry about, is your husband at the time, and even then, not really. Once you find the right guy, you two will work something out that makes you both happy.

 

[TheZapper]

sometimes I feel whatever you choose you will be looked down on by some group. Women who are all about female empowerment will think you are holding back progress if you choose to raise your children and men will repeat their tired lines about sandwich making if you want to be a career woman.

Any real feminist should not look down on women who choose to stay at home. Feminism is about the right to choose more than anything.

 

[Toasty]

How ever you both compliment each other the best is how it should be. Also I don't see how being the one in charge of making sure that which you own is presentable is a damining task.

It shouldnt be damning....its viewed as such as a result of people(mostly men) that treat the role as inferiour to 'breadwinning'.

 

[chefassassin2]

but it has been twisted and contorted more by men than women it seems. Some girls want to work and have professional careers and thats cool, maybe ill do that too, and I guess a lot of guys feel that emasculates them somehow that they arent the sole provider anymore.

sometimes I feel whatever you choose you will be looked down on by some group. Women who are all about female empowerment will think you are holding back progress if you choose to raise your children and men will repeat their tired lines about sandwich making if you want to be a career woman.

that and if a guy wants to do something for me, I will let them. I could prolly lift that heavy object, but if a guy gets something out of the act of helping a girl I think thats great. It doesnt make me weak or dependant but there are people who will make it out to be like that.

i feel like its harder than ever to just be 'normal' maybe i dont want to be super progressive about some things, is that so bad?

A couple thoughts. First, I work in an industry primarily run by men. Statistically, there are more male chefs than female, but some of the greatest chefs I know are woman, and I'm a better chef for knowing them. I don't think it emasculates me at all. So to me, if I said "get back in the kitchen", I'd be kindof a hypocrite, since that's where I should be.
Also, I think you're right, no matter what you choose, people will look down on you. It's a fact of life. Just look at these threads. People who are Xbox fans are going to be blasted by PS3 fans, fans of Twilight will be nailed by haters. I believe that whoever you are, just treat each other with respect, because at the end of the day, we all put our pants on one leg at a time. Clicheed as that is, I truly believe it. Finally, i respect the hell out of my girlfriend, and she's becoming a career woman, and I support her a hundred percent. I think she'll be amazing at what she does, and if that means I have to be the one making her the sandwich, so be it. It's what I do anyway.

 

[JanatUrlich]

Just do what you wanna do and let other women do the same! It's alll gooood 8D

And I would "get back in the kitchen" but I can't cook worth shit! I envy people who can

I'd never give up anything for a guy/girl and I wouldn't expect them to either

 

[Bernzz]

When I eventually get my life partner, well, if they have a job that pays more or something like that, then I won't really care. It won't bother me. I don't get how guys could feel emasculated at all.

 

[damselgaming]

I reckon it's all the individuals choice, coupled with the situation at the time.
Personally I would love to be the cooker/cleaner, because I am a bitchin' cook and cleaning relaxes me. No kids though, can't deal with thinking about those disgusting creatures yet.
In fact I cook for my boyfrind as much as I can, and he doesn't complain. If I was working in a job I adored I wouldn't give it up, but if I hated work and he made enough to support us both and was happy with that then I wouldn't say no to days at home.