God damn, Escapist. I fucked up. I fucked up real bad.

[AndyFromMonday]

How about apologizing and attempting to make up for the damage by getting a job and paying for all the expensive shit you broke? Part of being an adult is being able to deal with your mistakes and learn from them. Avoiding them isn't something I would recommend because in the end what happened was entirely your fault. Avoiding your mistake would also be a "betrayal" of sorts as instead of attempting to remedy the situation you're letting your parents deal with it while you basically run away.

I'm 17 and I haven't yet found a job (currently looking!), I could no way afford to replace that table. I've tried apologizing and owning up to my actions, but they don't want to hear it. My step-dad doesn't even wanna talk to me.

I think the best thing to do would to get out of their hair for a while.

No. Doing so would only show them you've learned absolutely nothing from the experience. Whether or not you can replace the table is irrelevant, the act of attempting to repay is just enough to show your parents you're not a complete fucktard. Man up and deal with the consequences.

Did you even read what he wrote? He said his parents don't want to hear it. He's right to leave them alone for awhile. Of course, he should clean everything up the best he can before doing so.

They don't want to deal with him right now because they're angry at what he's done. He shouldn't leave, instead he should show he's grown enough to actually deal with the consequences of his actions.

 

[Ickorus]

Get a job and pay them back for damages, short of that do EVERYTHING around the house, it won't really make up for it because they'll still be paying money for your fuck up but at least it'll be something.

I really don't have sympathy for you, it's fine to invite a couple of close friends around to have a little get together but if you have a full-blown party with lots of alcohol and lots of people it really is all your fault, you may as well have done all those things yourself.

 

[Loves2spooge]

You fucked up, you deal with it. Welcome to the real world; hope you brought medication.

And the reason why you don't feel welcome in your home, is because your parents don't feel like they don't trust you any more to make rational decisions on your own, or ask them when you want to use their property for a party, and saying "But I love parties" isn't an excuse.

Also, packing up to your grandmother's wouldn't inspire confidence in them for how rationally you think, it'd be just another sign that you're not mature enough to deal with problems.

 

[AVATAR_RAGE]

How about apologizing and attempting to make up for the damage by getting a job and paying for all the expensive shit you broke? Part of being an adult is being able to deal with your mistakes and learn from them. Avoiding them isn't something I would recommend because in the end what happened was entirely your fault. Avoiding your mistake would also be a "betrayal" of sorts as instead of attempting to remedy the situation you're letting your parents deal with it while you basically run away.

I'm 17 and I haven't yet found a job (currently looking!), I could no way afford to replace that table. I've tried apologizing and owning up to my actions, but they don't want to hear it. My step-dad doesn't even wanna talk to me.

I think the best thing to do would to get out of their hair for a while.

Give em space and find ways of making up for it. Little things. You will get their trust back eventually, but trust is a funny thing, hard to get easy to loose.

 

[Aeonknight]

More like a hard ***** slap of truth.

The sooner the OP realizes what a twat his behavior is, the better chance he has of not becoming another degenerate moron. It's not even the fact that he has idiot friends that light his shit on fire, it's the fact that instead of understanding why he's in his predicament and learning from it, he wants to skip out on it and run to grandma, so he can become HER problem next.
Why? Because he likes parties.

OP, if you want your parents trust and respect back, the answer is one word: Accountability. Learn it, apply it, and maybe you won't be an embarassment to them or your generation anymore.

Despite coming across as a massive prick in this comment, you make a lot of sense. After my houseparty incident, I took responsibility and everything went down fine... The thing is though, is that this could have been a one-off mistake.
Calling him a degenerate moron and an embarrassment to his generation is a little harsh because, at that age, almost everyone makes mistakes. Hell, I was the most well-behaved of my siblings and in one moment of spontaneity, I ruined the house. It doesn't mean that I'm a degenerate, it means that I made a mistake. All people make mistakes.

The difference is that I learnt from my mistake and didn't do it again...now I've just graduated from university with an English degree...look how much of a degenerate moron and embarrassment to my generation I am now.

What you say about accountabilty is true...but insulting the guy so harshly for something which, for all you know is a one-off incident, is a a little off.

I would've toned down my post if he didn't mention that he's running off to live with grandma rather than man up and be accountable. From the sounds of it, he doesn't plan on changing or growing from this incident. As he is right now, he fits my description quite nicely.

Now... in the event he takes the route you've gone and makes something of himself... I'd actually be happy for him. This is an instance where I would love to be proven wrong.

 

[Tips_of_Fingers]

I would've toned down my post if he didn't mention that he's running off to live with grandma rather than man up and be accountable. From the sounds of it, he doesn't plan on changing or growing from this incident. As he is right now, he fits my description quite nicely.

Now... in the event he takes the route you've gone and makes something of himself... I'd actually be happy for him. This is an instance where I would love to be proven wrong.

True...maybe he's been advised to live there for a bit...?

In any event, I hope he sorts it all out...

 

[LuckyClover95]

So, I was home-alone for a whole week. I thought, "Hey, I'm a pretty swell guy. I think I'll just go and invite a ton of my friends and throw a big, drunken party!". Honestly, though, the party was fun. But shit.

The back-garden table ended up being set on fire, leaving a fairly expensive table pretty badly damaged. This is the main issue. I'm not sure exactly how it happened, I just know a couple of my friends were smoking in the garden and were dicking around with lighters.

The other big thing, is that a guy at my party was going on holiday in two days, and asked me to hold on to a bag of weed for him. I don't do that stuff myself, I tried it and it's really over-rated. Anyway, I didn't hide it very well, because when my mom came home she found it with a few hours. She was pretty angry with me. She was also angry at finding random empty beer cans hidden around the bed, and seeing the side of my bed was sick stained (a friend of mine CANNOT hold his drink).

My mom is angry and disappointed in me, my step-dad said he's ashamed of me. I really don't feel welcome in my home. I feel kind of regretful for holding this party and betraying my parent's trust, but on the other hand, I REALLY like parties. Tomorrow morning, I'm taking all my shit and I'm hightailing it to my grandma's house. I need to get out of here for a while.

What do you think of this, Escapist? What would you do in a similar situation?

EDIT: I think they understand about the weed, but are still kinda disappointed. Also, for the moment at least, I can't reason with them.

Friend, I totally get you. Parties are awesome. If your grandma is ok with you staying, go there while your mum and step dad cool off. After a few day's they'll hopefully get perspective and realize it's not the end of the world. At my party, my bed got broken, making my parent very suspicious that sound enthusiastic sex had taken place (which it had, just not in that bed). You probably won't regret having the party later when every guest there now has to invite you to their parties (I had my party at New Years, 7 months later people who went are still inviting me to theirs.) Have a nice few days at your grandma's. I know my parents wouldn't have taken the weed thing so lightly - personally, if I need to hide drugs or anything, game and dvd cases are where it's at.
Pay for the table, that'll help a bit. I know a guy who's mum was away for a few months when he was 16 or 17, and he had a party where loads of stuff, tv windows etc were destroyed, with money from people at the party and his own he replaced everything and his mum never found out.

 

[The SettingSun]

Sell your games, wash cars etc, deliver papers etc. anything to get money to pay the damages. Even if its only a small amount your parents will appreciate the effort

 

[Generalissimo]

one time i locked myself in the garage, i went in there to get my bike, then a gust of wind blew the big metal door shut, at which point the opening mechanism jammed. i was like: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU BECAUSE I WAS LOCKED IN A PITCH BLACK DANK STINKIN' GARAGE FOR 5 HOURS. my uncle is yet to make it up to me.

 

[Dragunai]

A table got set on fire, someone threw up and a bag of weed got passed ...

Why wasn't I invited?

The only way this party could have been more awesome was if you had strippers involved (or really drunk hot girls) and someone died.

...

Jerk!

Making me miss out on shit :'<

Btw, who gives a fuck what a step parent thinks?
If I had a step parent I'd tell them to go fuck them self and their unwanted opinion.

 

[The Diabolical Biz]

one time i locked myself in the garage, i went in there to get my bike, then a gust of wind blew the big metal door shut, at which point the opening mechanism jammed. i was like: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU BECAUSE I WAS LOCKED IN A PITCH BLACK DANK STINKIN' GARAGE FOR 5 HOURS. my uncle is yet to make it up to me.

Wait, what?

OT: I can't really comment, not being too familiar with this kind of situation but it seems to me that you're being given some sound advice here - deal with your shit if you want your parents love/trust (maybe not trust so much) back.

 

[XHolySmokesX]

snip.

Dude we've all been there, parents leave throw party £2,500 worth of stuff gets nicked, you feel like a dick.

Use it as a learning experience man, i wouldn't know how to deal with it with your rents because everyones rents see this stuff differently.

From my party experiences i learnt:

1) make sure you know everyone who's going, WELL. Only invite close friends, minimise of dickheads of any kind.

2) Hide EVERYTHING of any value the day before the party so you minimise any damage, chuck you table in your rents room if you have to.

3) I went to this party once where they put sheets of plastic across the floor to 'save the carpet' it was a pretty descent idea.

4) Make sure you have no plans for the day after so you can CLEAN THE SHIT out of your house. If you do this bit well your parents wont even know, and they wont need to know becasue everything will be fine. =)

 

[Seagoon]

So, I was home-alone for a whole week. I thought, "Hey, I'm a pretty swell guy. I think I'll just go and invite a ton of my friends and throw a big, drunken party!". Honestly, though, the party was fun. But shit.

The back-garden table ended up being set on fire, leaving a fairly expensive table pretty badly damaged. This is the main issue. I'm not sure exactly how it happened, I just know a couple of my friends were smoking in the garden and were dicking around with lighters.

The other big thing, is that a guy at my party was going on holiday in two days, and asked me to hold on to a bag of weed for him. I don't do that stuff myself, I tried it and it's really over-rated. Anyway, I didn't hide it very well, because when my mom came home she found it with a few hours. She was pretty angry with me. She was also angry at finding random empty beer cans hidden around the bed, and seeing the side of my bed was sick stained (a friend of mine CANNOT hold his drink).

My mom is angry and disappointed in me, my step-dad said he's ashamed of me. I really don't feel welcome in my home. I feel kind of regretful for holding this party and betraying my parent's trust, but on the other hand, I REALLY like parties. Tomorrow morning, I'm taking all my shit and I'm hightailing it to my grandma's house. I need to get out of here for a while.

What do you think of this, Escapist? What would you do in a similar situation?

EDIT: I think they understand about the weed, but are still kinda disappointed. Also, for the moment at least, I can't reason with them.

dude! We all fuck up! just live life and be glad you had an awesome party despite the outcome! everything will work out just fine..

 

[necromanzer52]

Oh shit! I have the house to myself for the next week, and I'm planning on throwing a massive party!

 

[mayney93]

i see you like party's but honestly did you not see this coming? i only ever invite freinds i trust with my life to partys and i make damm well sure i get it Ok'd by my mother, i mean, how would you feel in her position?

 

[Generalissimo]

but from whence did this advice come?