"God, I'm such a ****ing idiot."

[DarkxReaper56]

Once I was making a smoothie and when I was done I took apart the blender for cleaning...I forgot that I only drank half of the smoothie before taking the blender apart.

Also one day I was playing Monopoly with some friends. We had been up all night and were getting tired but we were determined to finish this game. We were snacking on Cheetos and when It was my turn I rolled a handful of cheetos and popped the dice into my mouth...I realized my mistake after I tried to bite the dice.

 

[EMFCRACKSHOT]

I smashed my face of the garage door once. That was both painful and hilarious.

 

[Urgh76]

cleaned out my cat's litterbox, left her shit on the counter

 

[Mr. Gency]

I did a roll on the floor and I hit my head against a hand rail.
I showed no signs of pain.

 

[Guitarmasterx7]

Wasn't recently, but once I had a paper plate to throw away and I had to go to the bathroom. I threw the paper plate in the toilet and only realized what I had done after I began to piss in the garbage can next to it.

 

[Lim3]

After seeing the title of the thread i thought you must have shot yourself in the foot. Or done an internet transfer between your accounts and accidentally sent all your money to another person's account.

Not just trip on the ground.

I've also tripped up the stairs, except i was carrying a glass and it shattered into my hand so i had to pull all the shards of glass out of it.

 

[ribonuge]

I once lit my cigarette the wrong way around. Smoking plastic isn't too nice.

 

[CoverYourHead]

I walked into a wall and managed to cut my shoulder.

... How the hell does that happen?!

 

[Urgh76]

Wasn't recently, but once I had a paper plate to throw away and I had to go to the bathroom. I threw the paper plate in the toilet and only realized what I had done after I began to piss in the garbage can next to it.

lol i did the same thing but with a napkin..... i was so tired..........

 

[UsefulPlayer 1]

I once had a candle with too much liquid wax in it. So I tried to pour it down the sink.

It was nearly a second before I realized what a bad idea it was.

 

[PrimoThePro]

i choked on air once... embarrassing, that.

 

[Roxas1359]

I was talking to my friends today and right in mid sentence I forgot what I was going to say, and I suddenly said "Derp". I derped myself.

 

[benoitowns]

I corrected a regular person about the parts of a computer and how it works instead of just shutting up.

 

[Hollock]

I was buying a computer with my dad and he wanted to know how many Jiggawatts (that's what he said) a computer had, and I yelled 1.21 Jiggawatts! pretty loud too.

 

[TheNumber1Zero]

Poured cereal into my milk, in both a saucer and a cup, then tried to eat it with a fork.
Choked on air (Not sure how)
Licked batteries (D batteries, multiple times)
Grabbed a handfull of sand, then tried to eat it
Ran into the floor
Sat in the tub fully clothed and tried to take a shower
Stuck a dead Bug in my mouth, thinking it was some carpet
Sprayed myself in the Eyes with Air Freshener. Aimed it right at my eyes and pressed the trigger.

I've done a lot of stupid crap

 

[Tomster595]

I thought I was confessing my love to this girl anonymously.... Apparently I did NOT hit the anonymous button..... That was a baaaaaddd night

 

[Donttazemehbro]

In one of my classes, a kid would plug his computer charger into t he wall, every time I walked past it i tripped, even when it wasn't there (muscle memory i guess)

 

[Panzer_God]

I accidentally set myself on fire cooking pancakes. I have no idea how.