Happiness... hap-piness... hap...penis... vaaaaaGINA!
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Quoted for truth.samaritan.squirrel said:
And now more Black Books quotes:
"Jim, Jim Jim Jim, did I ever tell you about the Old Country? The songs, oh Jim, they'd melt your face! 'Oh I live in a shoe on Moore Street, I'm a Prostitute from Newry'"
"Naughty little passport, hiding in the crisps again"
"Get away from me! It was a thrill to recreate with you, but now our association ends. You have brought nothing but pain, penury and strife to my days. I wish you good fortune in whatever avenue of life you assault with your presence. Here's your redundancy package, here. I'm sorry most of it is in Fenobian wooden dollars but that's largely your fault."
"It's some sort of delicious biscuit" "It's a coaster." "Is it? Are there any more?"
The Family Guy episode when Stewie got married:
Stewie: "What kind of man would I be if I just gave up and left when things got hard?"
Brian: "Well, you'd be a black man."
Stewie: "Whoa, where did that come from?"
Brian: "Oh, God, that's not me, that's my father talking, he's from another time-"
Stewie: "Man, you gotta work on that. Bad dog."
Stewie: "What kind of man would I be if I just gave up and left when things got hard?"
Brian: "Well, you'd be a black man."
Stewie: "Whoa, where did that come from?"
Brian: "Oh, God, that's not me, that's my father talking, he's from another time-"
Stewie: "Man, you gotta work on that. Bad dog."
Pretty much anything that comes from The IT Crowd, or is uttered by the mighty Zapp Brannigan.
[after being assaulted by the sex-starved Amazons]
Captain Zapp Brannigan: We need rest. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.
[Zapp Brannigan is briefing Fry, Leela, Bender and his crew on his plan to destroy an alien mothership]
Captain Zapp Brannigan: If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes should fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.
Piles of them here:
http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0013045/quotes
http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/The_IT_Crowd#Calamity_Jen_.5B1.2.5D
[after being assaulted by the sex-starved Amazons]
Captain Zapp Brannigan: We need rest. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.
[Zapp Brannigan is briefing Fry, Leela, Bender and his crew on his plan to destroy an alien mothership]
Captain Zapp Brannigan: If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes should fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.
Piles of them here:
http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0013045/quotes
http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/The_IT_Crowd#Calamity_Jen_.5B1.2.5D
I can't adequately express this in words. You have to see it to believe it.
It really is the most versatile word in our language. =3
It really is the most versatile word in our language. =3
I dont know, it's an impossible choice - walls, thermometers... I'll just have to hope that when I flip the coin it somehow explodes and kills me.
With all due respect John, I am the head of IT and I have it on good authority. If you type 'Google', into Google, you can break the internet, so please, no one try it, even for a joke
She's ignoring me. Of course, she's ignoring me. I sent her a swastika.
I've made a psycho call to the woman I love, kicked a dog to death, and I'm about to pepper spray an acquaintance... I mean, what's happened to me?
With all due respect John, I am the head of IT and I have it on good authority. If you type 'Google', into Google, you can break the internet, so please, no one try it, even for a joke
She's ignoring me. Of course, she's ignoring me. I sent her a swastika.
I've made a psycho call to the woman I love, kicked a dog to death, and I'm about to pepper spray an acquaintance... I mean, what's happened to me?
It's Always Sunny has so many great lines.
Brianna: You look like a holocaust victim in pageant make-up.
Dee: I will eat your babies *****!
Brianna: Bring it!
Frank: Nobody's eating anyone's babies.
Bobby: Hey, you looking to spar, little girl?
Frank: No, no. No fight. She's not ready.
Dee: Oh, I'm ready.
Frank: No, you're not ready.
Dee: I'm ready! Let me eat her babies!
And, of course, Metalocalypse.
Murderface: Hey grandma, is there olives in it?
Old Lady: In what?
Murderface: Lemon tart, Wrinkle-tits! Jeezees!
Old Lady: Gasp!
Murderface: Good, then it's pee-pee time!
Edit: Oh no! 666 post count. :O
Brianna: You look like a holocaust victim in pageant make-up.
Dee: I will eat your babies *****!
Brianna: Bring it!
Frank: Nobody's eating anyone's babies.
Bobby: Hey, you looking to spar, little girl?
Frank: No, no. No fight. She's not ready.
Dee: Oh, I'm ready.
Frank: No, you're not ready.
Dee: I'm ready! Let me eat her babies!
And, of course, Metalocalypse.
Murderface: Hey grandma, is there olives in it?
Old Lady: In what?
Murderface: Lemon tart, Wrinkle-tits! Jeezees!
Old Lady: Gasp!
Murderface: Good, then it's pee-pee time!
Edit: Oh no! 666 post count. :O
Wow, that was... well, it was a video clip.badgersprite said:
Excessive overuse of swearwords just for the sake of cussing is stupid and lowers the quality of a scene. That was just an excuse to cuss a lot. They obviously tried to pack in as many instances of that word as they could. That video sucked.
Oh, I just realised, this shouldn't be just limited to T.V. shows. If you've got any favorites from movies or games, let's hear those, too.
I was watching Spongebob today, here's a good one:
Squidward - "Pe-euw!" What's that horrible smell?! Is Patrick thinking again?"
Patrick - "I'M THINKING ART!"
Squidward - "Pe-euw!" What's that horrible smell?! Is Patrick thinking again?"
Patrick - "I'M THINKING ART!"
South Park, the episode where Stan's grandfather is trying to kill himself.
Stan - *reads* Chores: clean room, do homework, kill Grandpa. "I'm not gonna kill you, Grandpa.
Grandpa - "INGRATE!"
EDIT: Also:
(Zap is getting his men ready to invade an enemy planet)
The key in battle is the element of surprise... Surprise! *drop*
Stan - *reads* Chores: clean room, do homework, kill Grandpa. "I'm not gonna kill you, Grandpa.
Grandpa - "INGRATE!"
EDIT: Also:
Haha, yeah, love Zap.BeeRye said:
(Zap is getting his men ready to invade an enemy planet)
The key in battle is the element of surprise... Surprise! *drop*
Lois: "Women are such teases. That's why I went back to men."
Meg: "Okay, Mom, thanks for that..." *runs away*
Chris: *scoots closer* "Go on..."
Meg: "Okay, Mom, thanks for that..." *runs away*
Chris: *scoots closer* "Go on..."
[The ladies' room is being cleaned; Elliot decides to use the men's room]
Elliot: [reading off the bathroom stall's wall] "Rate Dr. Reid's butt?"... Yes! 9.2! Thank God this hospital's full of white guys.
Kelso: Don't be too pleased with that 9.2. That's out of 100.
also:
Dr. Maddox: Hi, I'm trying to keep non-medical personnel from coming back in here. I'm the chief of medicine.
Jordan: I'm the chief of slag-smacking, so I'd keep moving if I were you.
Dr. Maddox: That's clever.
Jordan: That's funny, being clever's not how I got the job; smacking slags is.
Scrubs is littered w/ good comedy.
Elliot: [reading off the bathroom stall's wall] "Rate Dr. Reid's butt?"... Yes! 9.2! Thank God this hospital's full of white guys.
Kelso: Don't be too pleased with that 9.2. That's out of 100.
also:
Dr. Maddox: Hi, I'm trying to keep non-medical personnel from coming back in here. I'm the chief of medicine.
Jordan: I'm the chief of slag-smacking, so I'd keep moving if I were you.
Dr. Maddox: That's clever.
Jordan: That's funny, being clever's not how I got the job; smacking slags is.
Scrubs is littered w/ good comedy.