Happiness... hap-piness... hap...penis... vaaaaaGINA!
- Thread starter Emperor Inferno
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What you thing I would climb into a truck full of red-necks without packing heat?
Said by Cleveland on The Cleveland show
EDIT: Just remembered another one, also from the cleveland show:
(Rolo)-And this roast is for Cleveland Junior, the man so fact his ass has it's own area code
(Cleveland junior)-Are you saying I'm as large as a municipality?
It made me laugh
Said by Cleveland on The Cleveland show
EDIT: Just remembered another one, also from the cleveland show:
(Rolo)-And this roast is for Cleveland Junior, the man so fact his ass has it's own area code
(Cleveland junior)-Are you saying I'm as large as a municipality?
It made me laugh
From a British Tv show called Coupling, after a girl Jeff has fallen in love with after sitting behind her on the train and seeing only the back of her head (and once her leg) sits across from him.
Jeff: (looking at her weirdly)
Woman: Is there something wrong?
Jeff: No, no, I was thinking you look just like the back of your head!
Jeff: (looking at her weirdly)
Woman: Is there something wrong?
Jeff: No, no, I was thinking you look just like the back of your head!
"BAAAAAM!" "PEANUT BUTTER AND JAAAAAAM!" I played the youtube video of that quote while my friend was playing mass effect at the point udina gets punched in the face. He cracked up.
"Damn right you're your own grandpa!"
"No way, this couldn't be my *looks at grandma* GRANDMA!!!"
"No way, this couldn't be my *looks at grandma* GRANDMA!!!"
From South Park:
Ms. Garrison: "Boys! Have you seen my penis!"
Boys: "Huh."
Ms. Garrison: "If you see my penis running around, just catch it with a piece of cheese!"
Watch it at southparkstudios.com by clicking this link.
http://www.southparkstudios.com/episodes/165704/
Ms. Garrison: "Boys! Have you seen my penis!"
Boys: "Huh."
Ms. Garrison: "If you see my penis running around, just catch it with a piece of cheese!"
Watch it at southparkstudios.com by clicking this link.
http://www.southparkstudios.com/episodes/165704/
DVD: "You wouldn't steal a cd. You wouldn't steal a handbag. You wouldn't steal a car.
You wouldn't murder a policemen and steal his hat. You wouldn't pee in his hat and give it to his grieving wife. You wouldn't steal it back off her again. Piracy is stealing. Stealing is a crime. We shoot criminals."
Jen: These anti-piracy ads are getting a bit ott aren't they?
Time to open the racist door.
Who's behind the door today? It's ching chong chinaman!
You wouldn't murder a policemen and steal his hat. You wouldn't pee in his hat and give it to his grieving wife. You wouldn't steal it back off her again. Piracy is stealing. Stealing is a crime. We shoot criminals."
Jen: These anti-piracy ads are getting a bit ott aren't they?
Time to open the racist door.
Who's behind the door today? It's ching chong chinaman!
From Family Guy:
Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, "Oooooo."
Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.
And here is why Dr. Perry Cox is my hero.
Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, "Oooooo."
Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.
And here is why Dr. Perry Cox is my hero.
"It's called a grocery store you f****g douche bags!"Aunel said:
"I do cocaine"
"This band is dildos"
Some good ones on here, I eve noticewd a Roberto quote. I noticed some Hank Scorpio on page one, there's a back-and-forth betwee him and Homer that I love.
Homer: You got any sugar around here?
Scorpio: Sugar? Sure.
[Scorpio reaches into his pockets and pulls out two handfuls of sugar, giving them to Homer]
Scorpio: There ya go. Sorry it's not in packages. [While reaching back into his pockets] Want some cream?
Homer: I... uhhhh no.
No-one's mentioned Clone High, (the only funny thig MTV has ever done, by the writers/producers/some actors of Scrubs.) I love some of the monologues on that show.
(Tom Green's speech on ADD)
"So some of you may have been mean to a kid with ADD. That's not cool.
Coffee? Anyone for - coffee anyone?
Huh? Oh, sorry.
I like cotton candy! Check out my muscle! Potato chips. It's a Ferris wheel! So I guess what I'm trying to say is... plastic bag. Plastic bag. Plastic bag. Plastic bag. Plastic bag. Plastic bag." (Runs off chasing the bag.)
----------------
Joan: Abe? What are you doing here?
Abe: I come out here to think sometimes.
Joan: Me too.
Abe: Well right now all I can think about is not thinking about you over there on your thinking dock thinking about what you did.
Joan: I was only trying to help Abe. You don?t know what you?re getting into. What she?s getting you into.
Abe: You don?t know what you?re getting into - and that?s out of my friendship.
[Abe stands up]
Abe: And you know what hurts the most Joan? This nail I just stepped on. But there?s a metaphorical nail in my other foot that hurts the second most and it?s from you backstabbing me! So maybe instead of the nail metaphor I should have used a stabbing metaphor but it?s too late for that now isn?t it!?
---------------
The quotes aren't all that funny on their own but how they're acted out really works. That show was great, from the animation to the fact that they got Michael J. Fox to voice one line as Ghandi's right kidney. A shame that MTV canned it because an intelligent and funny animated show is more expensive to produce than retarded handycam stunt/prank shows or spoiled rich kids.
Homer: You got any sugar around here?
Scorpio: Sugar? Sure.
[Scorpio reaches into his pockets and pulls out two handfuls of sugar, giving them to Homer]
Scorpio: There ya go. Sorry it's not in packages. [While reaching back into his pockets] Want some cream?
Homer: I... uhhhh no.
No-one's mentioned Clone High, (the only funny thig MTV has ever done, by the writers/producers/some actors of Scrubs.) I love some of the monologues on that show.
(Tom Green's speech on ADD)
"So some of you may have been mean to a kid with ADD. That's not cool.
Coffee? Anyone for - coffee anyone?
Huh? Oh, sorry.
I like cotton candy! Check out my muscle! Potato chips. It's a Ferris wheel! So I guess what I'm trying to say is... plastic bag. Plastic bag. Plastic bag. Plastic bag. Plastic bag. Plastic bag." (Runs off chasing the bag.)
----------------
Joan: Abe? What are you doing here?
Abe: I come out here to think sometimes.
Joan: Me too.
Abe: Well right now all I can think about is not thinking about you over there on your thinking dock thinking about what you did.
Joan: I was only trying to help Abe. You don?t know what you?re getting into. What she?s getting you into.
Abe: You don?t know what you?re getting into - and that?s out of my friendship.
[Abe stands up]
Abe: And you know what hurts the most Joan? This nail I just stepped on. But there?s a metaphorical nail in my other foot that hurts the second most and it?s from you backstabbing me! So maybe instead of the nail metaphor I should have used a stabbing metaphor but it?s too late for that now isn?t it!?
---------------
The quotes aren't all that funny on their own but how they're acted out really works. That show was great, from the animation to the fact that they got Michael J. Fox to voice one line as Ghandi's right kidney. A shame that MTV canned it because an intelligent and funny animated show is more expensive to produce than retarded handycam stunt/prank shows or spoiled rich kids.
Parks and Recreation:
Leslie Knope: "No. I've never used marijuana. I did eat a brownie once, it felt like I was floating.
Turns out there wasn't any pot in it. It was just a reeeallly good brownie."
Leslie Knope: "No. I've never used marijuana. I did eat a brownie once, it felt like I was floating.
Turns out there wasn't any pot in it. It was just a reeeallly good brownie."
