Have you ever dated someone just to not be single?

[Risingblade]

Yup, it didn't end well at all.

 

[Slayer_2]

It's not worth the headache. Although, if she's a good friend, it may work out. I dated a girl I despised. She was stupid, petty, and not even attractive to me. Horrible idea. Weigh the pros and cons before diving in.

 

[CrimsonBlaze]

No. I tend to be single, not solely because I am comfortable with it, but also because I haven't found some meaningful enough to be in a relationship with.

 

[JoesshittyOs]

Ehh, in like sixth and seventh grade where I didn't really understand the concept yet. But in all honesty, I don't think that really counts.

So... no. I've jumped into a few relationships half-heartedly, but never because I was looking to fill a gap.

 

[Sean Hollyman]

No, that's called 'using someone' over here..

 

[Vault101]

no

whats so great about a relationship? I mean ok yes I get it...but being single is fine, I'm a bit of a solitary person so it works for me

lack of sex is annoying though but thats par for the coarse I supose

anyway I wouldn't be with somone unless I actually wanted too..Im not so insecure I need somone else to be attathed to to validate my existance

 

[BlackStar42]

You might as well give it a try, she might surprise you. Don't stay with her just for the sake of it though, that's kind of a dick move.

 

[CODE-D]

I was under the impression that almost every girl does this especially in High school.

 

[axlryder]

no

whats so great about a relationship? I mean ok yes I get it...but being single is fine, I'm a bit of a solitary person so it works for me

lack of sex is annoying though but thats par for the coarse I supose

anyway I wouldn't be with somone unless I actually wanted too..Im not so insecure I need somone else to be attathed to to validate my existance

actually, you do need some form of attachment to other people to validate your existence. Just spend a month in solitary confinement and you'll know what I'm talking about. Or just watch Castaway.

Regardless, this isn't a case of validation, it's about gaining life experience and companionship. Feeling as though you don't need those things isn't really a sign of strength, just different priorities.

 

[The Unworthy Gentleman]

Yeah, go for it. Worst that happens is you both have a new experience to better prepare you for the future. Best that happens is that you get exactly what you want out of the relationship.

You might end up destroying her emotionally but I wouldn't worry about that, someone eventually will if she's that fragile. As long as you can live with it then I wish you all the best in your new shitty relationship!

 

[axlryder]

Yeah, go for it. Worst that happens is you both have a new experience to better prepare you for the future. Best that happens is that you get exactly what you want out of the relationship.

You might end up destroying her emotionally but I wouldn't worry about that, someone eventually will if she's that fragile. As long as you can live with it then I wish you all the best in your new shitty relationship!

How would I have less of a chance to end up destroying her emotionally if I somehow liked her lots and then got bored later? Also, I don't think people's initial feelings really determine the quality of a relationship, so preemptively calling it a shitty one sounds presumptuous.

 

[Vault101]

actually, you do need some form of attachment to other people to validate your existence. Just spend a month in solitary confinement and you'll know what I'm talking about. Or just watch Castaway.

Regardless, this isn't a case of validation, it's about gaining life experience and companionship. Feeling as though you don't need those things isn't really a sign of strength, just different priorities.

you know that's not what I ment

I'm talking about the kind of people that need to be chanied to somone, and not in the healthy way...in the clingly/I rely on you for all my happyness way

thats not where my priorites are right now, that may change, but right now..... [i/] "I got 99 problems and a ***** ain't one" [/i]

 

[axlryder]

actually, you do need some form of attachment to other people to validate your existence. Just spend a month in solitary confinement and you'll know what I'm talking about. Or just watch Castaway.

Regardless, this isn't a case of validation, it's about gaining life experience and companionship. Feeling as though you don't need those things isn't really a sign of strength, just different priorities.

you know that's not what I ment

I'm talking about the kind of people that need to be chanied to somone, and not in the healthy way...in the clingly/I rely on you for all my happyness way

thats not where my priorites are right now, that may change, but right now..... [i/] "I got 99 problems and a ***** ain't one" [/i]

haha, well I didn't know you swung that way

Seriously though, being dependent on someone in that way isn't healthy, but that's really not what's happening here. I've been in enough relationships to distinguish, I'd like to think.

 

[Vegosiux]

actually, you do need some form of attachment to other people to validate your existence. Just spend a month in solitary confinement and you'll know what I'm talking about. Or just watch Castaway.

I think the word you are looking for is "interaction", not "attachment".

Regardless, this isn't a case of validation, it's about gaining life experience and companionship. Feeling as though you don't need those things isn't really a sign of strength, just different priorities.

Well, "life experience" is a redundant justification simply because it applies to everything equally. Trying it gives you some. Not trying it also gives you some.

Companionship I can understand, but you should seek that in a person, not in your relationship to them. Being alone sucks, I know, but being in a relationship doesn't automatically mean you're not alone anymore.

As for your question; it's up to you, really. I wouldn't try it myself because I think it'd, for me, end up as more of a hassle than its worth.

 

[Vault101]

haha, well I didn't know you swung that way

Seriously though, being dependent on someone in that way isn't healthy, but that's really not what's happening here. I've been in enough relationships to distinguish, I'd like to think.

haha..no I don't (as far as I know anyhow)....

I'm just saying, if somone thinks that being single is a "failure state" and can't bear the thourght so they always have to be in a relationship...like they are "half" a person..if that makes sense

not that I would know, some people just desire companioship more than otehrs..theres a differce

 

[miketehmage]

I have been in that situation twice in one year OP. I couldn't bring myself to date either of them and I'm still not sure whether or not that was a mistake. One of them in particular was probably one of the coolest girls I've known. And she was hot too. I just wasn't attracted to her.

But what you might also like to know is that I've never had a relationship.

I've been with girls, but I've never dated. And to be honest, I'd like to, I just never ask anyone out. And it's not the fear of rejection, it's the fear of me hating it like 2 weeks in and wanting to break it off.

 

[malestrithe]

Probably just me, but I would see if she's interested in you in that way first. Maybe, she just likes your company and it not looking to go any further than that.

If she likes you that way, and both of you get closer than normal people should, then make a move. I would not do it because you don't like being single.

 

[chadachada123]

There's a chance that dating her will make it develop into something more.

It's totally possible.

That said, it's far more likely that it'll end up being just a sexual release, and one of you will get hurt. I have experienced this on both sides first-hand.

It's your call.

 

[TomLikesGuitar]

I'm currently contemplating doing what the title implies. I went through a pretty nasty breakup a while back. It was mostly extrinsic circumstances that forced us apart. I'd gotten used to being single, but I met a girl. Well, we've known each other for a while, but only recently started being friends. I'm not madly head over heels for her, but I know if I asked her out she'd say yes. She's nice, fairly smart and has it together; she's not burdened with the standard level of immaturity that most people my age tend to be. While not unattractive, she's not really my type, but I've always thought I could look past that in a person (despite being a naturally superficial individual myself).

Point is, she's not a bad person to date. This isn't a rebound, I've already weighed the pros and cons and I'm looking at this pretty objectively. I know if I don't ask her out soon then the window to do so will probably close. I'm on the fence. I'm not out to use her, but every other girl I've dated has been because I really liked them. This feels manipulative and selfish since the natural feelings that go alone with dating aren't really there (even though personal attraction is really a selfish thing anyway). Has anyone else been in this position? Has it gone well? Poorly?

Have you fucked anyone since your last girlfriend? If not, don't kid yourself. This is probably a rebound.

Just take her out and maybe hook up with her, but don't be exclusive or anything ridiculous like that.

90% of my friends all just hop into exclusive relationships the second they start seeing someone. Are you ready to get married?

No?

Then go out, have fun, and see anyone you want. The only other option WILL end in disaster.

...

BTW if you are in high school/early college, none of this applies and you and her have about a 5% success rate of not hating each other come 6 months from now.