Headlines you'd like to see

[blademaster zero]

"solid snake found to be a real person"
"hideo kojjima (is that right?) hired by US military to design metal gear REX,RAY and SHAGOHOD blueprints for use in the army"

 

[Social Pariah]

How clever, are you also wearing a tiedye shirt that says give peace a chance or down with the tyrannical America?

Not really... I just happen to live in a country where firearms are illegal, personally I prefer it that way. Surely it's narrow minded to infer that only an aging liberal hippy douche could ever possibly be against firearms legality. Also the drug reference was merely to emphasise how distraught Americans would be without the ability to own weaponry.

And I can't be blamed for Americas tyrannicalness.

 

[Erana]

"Video Games recognised as art by MOMA"

"WOW saved the president's life"

"Nicotine removed from cigarettes"

"The spelling of "Tasty" is changed to "Tastey""

"Physical evidence of pterasaurs found in New Gunea"

"The abortion issue dropped in favor of working on US education system"

"Stem Cell research does not have to involve the destruction of fetuses"
(true, but I'd like to see it get some publicity)

 

[Surggical_Scar]

'Representative of black nation reveals: "We were in charge all along".'

'Cause of Diana crash revealed - chauffeur was distracted by RickRolling papparazzi.'

'John Prescott to become new face of SlimFast pastry range.'

'Second coming of Jesus coincides with re-run of House. Millions have crisis of faith.'

'Mathematicians successfully divide by zer-

 

[Sayvara]

"New smart A.I. filtering cleans out stupidity from chat rooms, web forums and MMO chat channels in 0.2 seconds."

"Time-hole peeping shows that Jesus, Mohammed and Buddah never existed. Crisis of faith for one third of the world's population."

"All conspiracy theories revealed to a scam designed to keep people occupied. The truth is finally out there... and it's DULL."

"Starlet antics exposed as pure tabloid fiction to boost sales. The girls are more beautiful, healthy and successful than all of us. EAT IT losers!"

"Revolutionary mind-eye vision technology reveals: ugliness goes to the bone. The Inner Beauty-movement backlashes heavilly. Plastic Surgery revitalized as boom industry".

"Kids realize that they don't know how the world works. 'Humble' the new catch-word."

"Elderly shocked by irrefutable facts that the world changes for the better."

"Aliens say 'earthlings are laughable'. Our chaotic, emotional, feuding and impatient nature is the very reason they havn't made contact before. Sci-Fi TV script writers guild closes down over night."

"After 100 years of using GigaHertz telecommuniction devices, the evidence is unanimous: cellphones does not cause cancer. Scientists' only comment: Well D'UH!!!"

/S

 

[Sayvara]

Oh... I forgot the best:

"Chuck Norris caught in french maid suit being spanked by Thai ladyboy".

/S

 

[Haliwali]

'Second coming of Jesus coincides with re-run of House. Millions have crisis of faith.'

Funny joke.

"Time-hole peeping shows that Jesus, Mohammed and Buddah never existed. Crisis of faith for one third of the world's population."

Not so much. If you're going to bring up religion, at least be funny about it.

 

[Osloq]

"Firefly back in production, millions rejoice"

"The number of people named malcolm reynolds increases by 2000000 fold after the new pilot of Firefly"

"A decent superman game is made and in one day goes double platinum, people confused as to how it took so long to happen"

"Mario elected president of the U.S. despite being fictional and from a foreign country. Sonic is his V.P."

"Ben 'Yahtzee' Croshaw does a review realises at the end he hasnt ripped it a new one, eats his hat then is commited to a mental facility"

"Virtual reality technology is created but then is scrapped in beta when the testers play GTA V: Vercetti's revenge and get beaten up and shot by an italian mobster in a hawaiian t shirt"

 

[Zoomy]

Jesus returns over Vatican City. Claims Islam is the true faith.

British Government bans idiots.

British Government banned by its' own laws.

 

[Easykill]

Very nice, Zoomy.

 

[Daegen]

"Jack Thompson plays Mario Galaxy, Sim City. Apologizes to Gamers for Misguided View on Video Game Violence.
Quoted as saying: 'I've never had so much fun!' "

 

[Natural Hazard]

Top Story: Eating bread gives you "Add really bad typically over-analysed problem here" In Other News France has officially surrended to the Russians.

 

[Conqueror Kenny]

"George Bush has been assassinated"
I just dont like the guy sorry.

 

[General Mostly Electrified Steel]

"Spike McFang reprises role in upcoming cupcake simulator"

 

[Haliwali]

"Grand Theft Auto VI to include destructable environments, says Rockstar CEO Jack Thompson"

Lulz.

"When Pigs Fly replaced by When I have Cake"

 

[PurpleRain]

"Microsoft admits that Xbox 360 is inferior to Ps3 - all fanboyism ceases"

"Sony admits Ps3 sucks... and they suck... and all their fans suck! Mass suicide. World rejoices!"

"Conkers Bad Fur Day 2 Released for Wii"

That would be awesome! I would go out and buy a Wii then. I wouldn't eat for a week but so what, I have Conker 2.

 

[broadband]

``decent videogame movie comes out, based on army men´´

``new mario and zelda games with complex gameplay and deep story´´

``George Lucas says, yes i fucked up star wars, and what? get a life nerds, is a 30 years old western movie set in space´´

``George Lucas starts new franchises, try to dont milk out star wars´´

``half life 3 delivered at time, Freeman speaks, Hugh Laurie casted´´

``Deus ex 3 released, it doesnt suck like invisible war´´

``U.S. goverment totally reestructured, greedy incometent jackasses are fired´´

sorry if they are not original