Horror Movie Survival 101

[GruntOwner]

Watch Scream. Take notes.
Trvel in groups of 3.
Head to the kitchen, grab a collection of knives which you can easily handle, and when it comes to stabbing the villian don't stab and twist. Stab, twist, stab again, stab some more, drive the blade through their eyes and any blow which doesn't land in the ribcage/skull/limb is a wasted lunge as the phycho cares not for muscle and flesh, only organs and bones.
Organize. It gives you a pleasent distraction to occupy your mind and makes sure that you won't run into the outstretched blade of your startled comrade when you scream, turn and peg it at the sight of your slutty ex hanging from the cieling.
Find a large, open, well lit area and let him come to you. Ensure that you are within helping distance of eachother but not AoE attack distance should the nutter start flinging crap at you.

 

[bradley348]

I am amazed at how people in horror movies dont take that moment of advantage as well.

Btw,

Number 1 key to survival - Carry around an armed nuclear device that will destroy roughly 1/3 of the planet, also throwing it off its axis, and well, killing everyone. Have it linked to your heartbeat. Then try to have something kill you

 

[Skuffyshootster]

My language arts teacher did a whole shpiel on this today.

"Let's go into the dark basement since our friend was brutally murdered! Surely finding out who stuck a machete into his brain will insure our safety! Right guys?"

"Definitely!"

 

[Ph33nix]

never be a secondary character. Never yelp for help then when rescue comes be silent especially if you are dieing (some stupid syfy movie that i can;t remeber the name of, rest stop? maybe)

 

[superspartan004]

for 95% of horror movies if the main protagonist had a pistol, the movie would end after 5 minutes

"Oh look a hockey goalie with a chainsaw!" *shoots* The End

 

[wilted_orchid]

Don't go to Silent Hill, just let the kid die. Make another one if you have to.

My thoughts on that bloody movie in a nutshell.

 

[Phoenix Arrow]

Don't go to Silent Hill, just let the kid die. Make another one if you have to.
DON'T GO UPSTAIRS.

My thoughts on that bloody movie in a nutshell.

It wasn't that bad really. Take it out of Silent Hill and take out the pointless Silent Hill things they threw in and it would be a decent enough film. But then they put in all the nonsence and it just kept putting it into context and thinking "but that makes no sense".

 

[Aerodyamic]

Actually, another sci-fi horror movie trope that I thought of today was is when you're using some fancy-arsed, super-duper-deluxe holographic whatchawhosit, where you can specify the interactive material. If you PROGRAMMED the damn game, and something odd/creepy/not-in-the-programming shows up, immediately kill it, THEN turn the game off.

Then kill it some more.

That holo-game scene in Jason X was one of the most horrendously stupid scenes in any cult-adored horror flick I've EVER scene. A little part of me died when the two retreads were too dumb to just start fucking shooting the piss out of Jason.

 

[Smagmuck_]

1) Don't go to summer camp. 2) Don't get high in the woods. 3) Don't have sex on haloween. 4) Don't fall asleep. 5) Stick close to the virgin ( she lives longer). 6) Don't kill someone and then hide the body. 7) Don't be stupid. 8) Don't kill the hot girl. 9) Don't get drunk. 10) DON'T KILL JENIFER!!!

 

[Dale Cooper]

...Any girl called Angela will have a dick.

 

[The87Italians]

Do not get into any vehicle. Chances are that if the monster/murderer is standing in the middle of the road, gravity no longer becomes relevant to your automobile. You will fly.

 

[aebonhawk]

Stay in "the group"! watch any horror movie. When someone leaves "the group" they die plain and simple. Thats why in some horror movies there is only one survivor. Tecnicaly if there is only one person he or she is "the group".

 

[Daveman]

stay a virgin... that's what scream taught me.

on a mildly related note, I just realised recently why shaggy and scooby eat so much... because of the post-weed munchies.

 

[piez13]

Don't follow the noises.

Get yourself some firearms, including minimum one shotgun. Enter a room with one entrance. Make sure there's power, a phone and computer (just in case). Aim all guns at the solitary entrance.

I'd like to see anything survive.

 

[Davey Woo]

Know the layout of your house - I'm tired of the dumbass running around their own house and finding a locked door or window and getting cornered. WHAT THE FUCK, IT'S YOUR HOUSE???

Don't go to investigate that noise you heard.

Don't fall over - Just don't.

Make sure someone else is a slower runner than you.


That's about all I can think of.

 

[wilted_orchid]

Know the layout of your house - I'm tired of the dumbass running around their own house and finding a locked door or window and getting cornered. WHAT THE FUCK, IT'S YOUR HOUSE???

That's something else that annoys the piss out of me in horror flicks - why do people have so many issues breaking windows? At least in films like House on Haunted Hill they give you a reason why they can't break a window to escape. But, seriously, the protagonists need to take a leaf out of the antagonists big book of how to get in and out asap and just give up on maintaining their bloody windows.

 

[Skreeee]

If a fully grown man is wearing a mask and not responding to anything you say with words, you should either be attacking him or running like hell.

 

[Saint Dillon]

1. There's strength in numbers.
2. Make DAMN SURE the bad guy is dead. (Unless the head is on the opposite side of the room from the body I'm not going near the thing)

 

[Fritzvalt]

Remain humble. I've seen more juiced up, arrogent so and sos die in a movies when they thought they were king shit.

This applies to humility in all forms. Note: in Scream, a character makes references to what "Not to do in a horror movie," he is, subsequently, killed. The same applies to internet threads. I'm sorry to everyone who posted on here (Myself included), but our fate is sealed...

 

[Fritzvalt]

...Any girl called Angela will have a dick.

Sleepaway Camp?