How do we get Michael Bay to make a Warhammer 40k Movie ?

[Extravagance]

Frankly, a 40K movie would just suck. Especially if Bay did it. There is nothing good about a film entirely comprised of power-armored super soldiers killing things. That just be the worst kind of thing. Like The Expendables but worse.

 

[Gildan Bladeborn]

NO!

JUST NO!

SERIOUSLY NO!

Preorder the "Ultramarines the Movie" if you want to here "http://www.ultramarinesthemovie.com", it looks pretty good.

BUT NO MICHAEL BAY!

Um... that would be order, Ultramarines: The Movie has been out for months now. Where has everyone been that they don't know there is already a feature length 40K film?

Isn't the whole point of Warhammer 40K's Space Marines to be a thinly veiled tongue-in-cheek parody of the modern American military in a big brother type society?

Um... no, no that's not the point at all. Games Workshop is a British company, and 40K (and Space Marines) predate the end of the Cold War - satirizing the modern American military is definitely not the purpose behind the Adeptus Astartes.

Ok apparently I have to be the odd one out here.

If a live-action Warhammer 40k movie is being made, I want Bay to be at the healm.

Everyone here denies it because they think that the Transformers movies raped their childhood and they jumped in the hate bandwagon, but Bay does mindless action 'splosion flicks.

Sure, fanboys can try to deny it, but Warhammer 40k is literally nothing but blood and 'splosions. It's supposed to be the most over the top mindless sci fi action ever created.

If you've never heard of Warhammer 40k in your life, and you were told about an IP about marines in giant space armor fighting aliens and space orks with chainsaws and explosions, the FIRST thing you would think it was was a Michael Bay movie. Face it, this would be the perfect IP for Bay to play in.

I'm going to be charitable and assume that you don't actually know anything about Warhammer 40,000 beyond the impression you get from the visual aesthetic if you can say something that ridiculous with a straight face. 40K is a fascinating dystopian nightmare of a setting - yes, there is definitely a metric ton of blood and completely over the top ultraviolence, it's a setting created as a framework for a bloody wargame after all, but only a completely ignorant person or a liar would ever say that it was "literally nothing but blood and 'splosions".

This was not the SF I'd grown up with: the neat, clean, brightly-lit futures in which dashing space explorers and their thoughtful scientist sidekick zip about the galaxy in some sleekly technological craft, doing cheerfully good deeds and defeating ugly and villainous aliens. Those stories were a pretty straight projection of our own values into a new setting: progress was inevitable, common sense and technology would prevail, the heroes and adventurers who would naturally come out on top were people who looked and thought Just Like Us (for a particularly white, Western, Anglophone, middle-class and male definition of 'us', as unconscious as I was of that at the time).

And now here's this new future. Here's an army of super-warriors, enhanced with biological and mechanical science of dazzling complexity, consulting the Imperial Tarot before they begin their combat drop and marching to war to the chants of their Chaplains under beautiful and ornate banners. Here's a starship on an interstellar voyage whose Navigator shudders as something scrabbles against the envelope of reality that protects his ship, which is riding the churning tides of the warp as phantoms and half-alive things formed from the stray thoughts of the crew swarm along in its wake. Here is a galaxy-spanning human empire, which consciously embraces intellectual and scientific stasis, and whose most revered teachings exalt the closed and narrow mind and abhor the free rein of reason. Here are skyscraping buildings beneath skies studded with space stations, along which priests stride with holy books whose pages are holographic memory wafers, connecting to their brains through cybernetic cables.

And this, mark you, was the backbone of the setting. This wasn't the antagonist for the smart, savvy, so-very-turn-of-the-twenty-first-century heroes. The Imperium wasn't a straw target, being set up to be knocked upside-down in time for an inspirational speech and the closing credits. This future wasn't a boys' own adventure waiting to happen. It was cruel, bloody and under siege. And it was exhilarating.

This is what speculative fiction is supposed to do. It's supposed to rudely shove your mind off that comfortable path it's used to wandering along and into new territory. What if we take all those bright, shiny, optimistic futures and turn our backs on them? What if we found ourselves in a universe where all the things we value and strive for today turned into horrible liabilities? What would that universe be like to live in?

So which are you?

 

[Tiger Sora]

Warhammer 40K movie..... theres not enough people on this planet to show a battle of the Imperial Guard. It can't be done.

 

[teebeeohh]

NO
he would focus on some arbitrary asshole who isn't even in the IG or a psyker or something interesting and the Space marines will only appear as a background plus he will horribly mutilate the motivations for chaos.
also i am pretty sure the guy has a specific hard-on for the US military, which neither space marines nor IG are.

 

[Reaper195]

His movies may be stupidly simple, but damn, they are more fun than all the movies critics jerk off to (Hurt Locker, much?).

Trouble is, we'd see a young male protagonist trying to get with an attractive female protagonist.

Transformer movies are the only movies of his I have seen with anything along those lines. Things like bad Boys 1/2 and The Rock are a thousand times better. And The Rock has Sean Connery shooting a lot of people.

 

[King Toasty]

NO NO NO NO. I want that man to stop making films.

AAANNDDD I just had a mental image of Michael Boy directing a Doctor Who episode.
I weep.

 

[Vern5]

We don't because that idea is so bad that it borders on the apocalyptic. Michael Bay does not enjoy making these kinds of "Beyond reality" movies. Thats why human characters took up so much time in the Transformers movies. He literally cannot relate to that kind of extra-human mentality or qualities so he would need to put in some kind of lower human drama in order to put everything in context. And thus, whether we like it or not, we will have some pathetic human drama alongside enormous Space Marines tearing apart Orks with chainblades or just their bare, cybernetic hands.

On one hand, this approach might work for a movie that, say, focuses on the Imperial Guard (who are pretty much a mash together of all military forces on Earth). Actually, if it was just an Imperial Guard movie that could be at least decent in Michael Bay's hands.

Unfortunately, I dont think Bay has the mental stamina to keep everything dark, grim and gothic all the time and will give even less time for any 40k action in lieu of focusing on the interpersonal dramas of the soldiers the movie will be centered on.

Bottom line: TERRIBLE IDEA.

 

[Futurenerd]

WE DON'T AND THAT IS FINAL.

In all seriousness, I don't want to see Michael Bay make another movie ever again, especially not about something so close to our gamer society.

 

[hotsauceman]

We just need to give micheal bay a big ol coloring book,a small camera,some fireworks and some military toys. That would keep him busy. He seems to only have a one track mind.

 

[Grospoliner]

HERESY! ABOMINATION! The very thought of that... vile excuse for a director even entertaining the merest notion of violating the sacrosanct writings of the Emperor's faithful should be too terrible a thought for even the most corrupted of the traitor legions dogs.

You are a bad person for suggesting this.

 

[Warforger]

We have the technology, we have the audience - so how do we get somebody like Bay to finally DO it ?

At best it would be better to get a original trilogy Star Wars esque version of Warhammer 40k, the problem is that there's going to need to be a story, if you want to reach out to more audiences since like say Scott Pilgrim showed how successful it is to aim at one audience and none else, you're going to need someone like Luke Skywalker or Neo, some normal human living a normal life then gets hit by a foreign threat. He then can start training to become like say an Imperial guardsmen or better a space marine and we can see the transition and the practices of the space marines.

Bay can't do that at all, however the action scenes would be better for him, he can use the IG as a stand in for the US army after all. You'd get something like the star wars prequels, where you see shit smeared everywhere, a confusing plot, boredom, lack of basic understanding of cinema rules etc. etc.

 

[Buschmaki]

It'll be easy to have Bay direct a 40k movie. Get him worshiping Slaanesh and he'll make it just to torture everyone.

 

[commodore96]

I'm kind of liking this idea. If they don't let him hire a single actress this could actually be good with a bunch of badass space marines fucking the universe up. Give him his own chapter and own villains though, so he doesn't mess up anything about 40k. There is an extremely high probability that he will fail miserably which will also be positive because it might let us forget about how crappy Matt Ward is at writing.

 

[Jewrean]

Terrible idea. Michael bay would focus on goofy characters that appeal to kids, rap music, terrible plot, and just for the hell of it would throw things that don't belong into the War-hammer 40k universe just for a popular culture joke. Yeah his action is great, but everything else he touches turns to shit.

 

[Kenko]

y would you want that? Michael Bay hasn't made a movie like yet.

40K? Worst f*cking idea ever. Don't let Michael Bay near anything that holy. If he does a movie about it and fails. I will personally shoot him, and im not that much of a 40K fanboy.

Yeah your avatar is just a commissar. Not that much of a fanboy......
Personally though I agree. I think Michael Bay shouldn't be allowed near another video camera as long as he lives.

Because an avatar says anything? Nope.

 

[Spade Lead]

We have the technology, we have the audience - so how do we get somebody like Bay to finally DO it ?

I would like to see this, but then, my Warhammer 40K knowledge is limited to:

http://500motivators.com/plog-content/thumbs/motivate/me/large/474-drive-me-closer-i-want-to-hit-them-with-my-sword.jpg

Still, that alone makes me want to see a movie about it.

Also, I loved the Transformers trilogy, I think it is my favorite trilogy of all time. So yes, if Michael Bay did a Warhammer trilogy, I would see them all opening night.

 

[Spade Lead]

It's kinda sad how the director takes credit for the works of an entire creative staff.

I think that's very very sad.

You idiots people are aware that the director alone doesn't make the movie!!!

If you could actually get Bay to stick to what 40K is about, under threat of death, I think it would actually be not a bad idea. Problem being, Bay's script can't stick to anything source material for more than 20 minutes.

You do know that Micheal Bay doesn't write the script eh?

You all do realize that "Autuer Theory," the most commonly recognized theory in all of filmmaking, says that a director is more influential in the making of a film than anyone else. You know, just saying...

Look up Andre Bazin if you don't believe me and have never taken a film class.

 

[mysecondlife]

better question seems to be "How doe we get Michael Bay to STOP making movies?"