How do you RUIN your sex life.

[Leon Last Lord Shyle]

Needing to pee during it.
Their face is like "SRSLY?" but you know you gotta go.
Particularly dangerous when the bathroom is not located near the bedroom/place where it's going on ^_^''

Yea now imagine saying you need to go pee and she says its ok do it on her.... that ruins it

 

[Continuity]

I have a habit of getting totally hammered in social situations. Contrary to what teen comedies led you to believe that makes meeting women very hard. Even if I manage to chat up a girl, by the time she finishes her drink I finish my 8th and start singing obscene songs while she flees in terror.

Oh, I recognise that scene

 

[Hiikuro]

Let me see how great the barriers to sex is to me.

First of all, I don't know many people, and don't meet many people. So finding anyone through my contacts (though I haven't tried) would possibly/probably be difficult.

Then there is the fact that I'm generally not interested in going to the usual places where people meet. I addition to that I never have any place like that to go to anyway. Not that I regard this as too much of a loss, as I don't imagine I would meet anyone there in any case.

Added onto this that I probably only would tolerate a minute percentage of females, and only really would feel compatible with a tenth or less of those again. In addition to the unfortunate thing that most of those I'd want to meet usually don't have many friends or get out much, so finding them will prove difficult no matter what I do. I'm also a relationship kind of person, and sex is secondary for me (that is not to say I don't like anything sexual, in reality I absolutely love to talk about and do stuff like that. But I prefer fewer partners and closer relationships).

And to top it all off, I'm terrible at initiating contact and I'm a very passive person (even though I don't want to be). Which I hate considering there's so much I'd love to do.

Which is a shame as I regard myself as a good-natured, kind, and easy person to talk to, and I have a strong emotional capacity which is severely underused.

I realize now that this went in the relationship direction.. but.. In short, I'm sure there is someone out there for me, but finding her will surely be a near impossible endeavor.

 

[jawakiller]

So I was checking in on good ole escapist when I saw a poll titled "How do you run your sex life." Interested, I clicked on it. Then I had an epiphany.

You bloody thief. I MADE THAT POLL! I demand credit for this idea.

Nah, I kid. Actually, this thread is almost more revealing than my poll.

Oh dude, totally my bad. I actually meant to throw in a nod to the creator of that thread but I forgot half-way through. Please accept my humblest apologies.

I said "TRANSFORMERS: ACTIVATE" while changing positions.

Yeah.

That is probably the most awesome fail... Ever. As in, the history of the world.

By the way. You're my new hero.

 

[AngryMongoose]

I said "TRANSFORMERS: ACTIVATE" while changing positions.

Yeah.

You've got balls man, even if you won't be using them

 

[gazumped]

Tell him I'm actually asexual and every moment he's touched me for the last year has made me feel dirty and I cry at night thinking about it.
I have a feeling he won't want to go near me after that.

On a more serious note

I haven't ruined my sex life yet, but in six months, I've only managed to get her to climax once, so my self esteem is kind of non-existent by the time I finish, and I feel kind of worthless afterwards. If anything, this is what's gonna screw me over.

Firstly, some girls just aren't very good at climaxing. The female body is a weird thing. Does she have difficulties bringing herself to orgasm when she masturbates? If so, then it's certainly not your fault and you need to stop beating yourself up.
If she doesn't masturbate, this may be the problem, she needs to loosen up about her sexuality!

Secondly, if it's not her weird female body that's the problem, then have you got her to teach you what she likes? Get her to guide you in foreplay, tell her to move your hands where she wants them, let her take control.
In my experience, guys don't make a girl orgasm, a girl has to use a guy to orgasm.

(P.S. Any questions asked are more for your consideration than to find out the answers. Advice post end.)

 

[ReservoirAngel]

I think this says it all.

Maybe I'm just weird but if my boyfriend made a Chewbacca noise during the cuddling stage (and ONLY that stage!) it'd probably make me fall in love with him even more.

Then again we are both weirdos who never take anything seriously.

 

[Irriduccibilli]

I was really shy in the past, so that ruined it a bit for me, but taken in consideration, I am only 18 now, and I already got better at manning up now

 

[SckizoBoy]

Uh, by calling her by my ex's name mid-coitus. Then realising who I'm with, and running to the toilet to cry. Upon drying my eyes, come back, get on the phone to said ex and talk with her for about an hour (even though she's with her new boyfriend), hanging up and asking 'so, where were we?'

Think that would do it!

 

[Leon Last Lord Shyle]

I said "TRANSFORMERS: ACTIVATE" while changing positions.

Yeah.

is it weird after reading this my mind thought up

"wonder twin powers activate, form off Reverse cowgirl"

 

[soren7550]

I can't really ruin something that doesn't exist. Or can you?

I suppose you can. If my experence is anything, it can be done by being really akward due to lack of experence, thus ruining your chances of having anything good and/or meaningful.

You get what I'm trying to say?

 

[The Rockerfly]

By her waking up

In all seriousness by taking advice from softcore porn magazines. Really, never trust the writing there

 

[Dr. wonderful]

By being shy and unable to get a few words out:
"Hey, what is your name?"
"Um..it's...it's....Devin!"
"Oh-"
"NO! It's KEVIN! KEEEEVIN!"

Or saying the wrong thing:

"I LIKE YOUR BREAST!"
"...What?"
Or the girl is a total *****:

"Hey fatass, lose some weight!"

...But most of all.


WOMEN ARE NOT INTO ME.

 

[Smooth Operator]

Well let's do a general sum-up (specifics aren't for the public):
- turning down drunk girls, the only time they are really frisky and I run into moral issues
- girls from the "I R dead corpse" school of sex, had a couple of those... that is some horrid shit that I don't tolerate
- getting too into the relationship, I am or rather was quick to admit my feelings to girls, and they are quick to get away

 

[Monkfish Acc.]

Mostly by actively and intentionally chasing away anyone who is interested in me.

You'd think being horrible to everyone and glaring a lot would keep people at bay, but no.

 

[Julianking93]

By not wanting to have it.
Seems people can't grasp the concept that I don't want to have sex with them.

I can't tell if that's ignorance or narcissism... or perhaps both >.>

 

[feralwanderer]

Not even trying for almost 10 years seems to be doing the trick. Also, no job, little chance of getting one (I'm disabled,) and not being in good shape. Plus I just rarely go anywhere where there are women. I mean, I go to the store and stuff, but nobody's exactly throwing themselves at me, and I just don't need any bad enough to, you know, actually put myself out there. Past relationships haven't been as good as being single, and I'm not really a casual sex kinda guy. Not really the marrying type either. I just need to find a woman who I can love for a while, have a few kids with, and then just be friends with when I'm bored with her. Or, you know, one who will never bore me. So far no luck there.

 

[Mr Companion]

Celibacy.
My sex life is perfect just the way it is.

Im with you there, somehow my gonads don't hassle me enough to make such a massive mistake. Ive seen what a relationship is like, even a good one looks about as appealing as a mandatory frontal lobotomy performed with cutlery.

And in case anybody thinks sexual desire will kick in sometime I would like to point out I am 18, the pinnical of sexual urge has already fallen neith my mighty willpower.

And incase anybody ELSE is wondering if I lack the charisma to bad a lady, many opportunities existed, I didn't need the complications.

 

[Ace of Spades]

I can't really ruin something that doesn't exist. Or can you?

I suppose you can. If my experence is anything, it can be done by being really awkward due to lack of experence, thus ruining your chances of having anything good and/or meaningful.

You get what I'm trying to say?

I get what you mean, and that's most likely how I could end up ruining my not-yet-existent sex life.

 

[MasterOfWorlds]

Biggest blunder, huh?

Okay, it's story time. Years ago, I was dating this girl (full lesbian) who had some self-esteem issues. She was complaining about how no one found her attractive. I said "that's not true" and proceeded to mention that, of course, I found her attractive. I also mentioned several of my friends who'd comments on her attractiveness, including a male-friend's fiancée.

My girlfriend was shocked by this - she had no idea that this girl was bi or thought she was attractive. She asked how I knew, and I explained that she (fiancée) told me so when I started dating her (my girlfriend).

Anyway, about a week passed, and then my male friend walked in on his fiancée and my girlfriend having sex. Thus exposed, my girlfriend dumped me to be with his fiancée; she broke off the engagement to be with my now ex-girlfriend.

So there's my blunder.

That sucks. If it makes you feel any better, I was caught making out with this girl who told me she was single by her boyfriend, who proceeded to try to stab me in the head. Thank God for Aikido lessons. He only hit my shoulder, and I was able to disarm him before too many people were hurt. Although I did just about dislocate his arm, but I figure that we were about even then. XD

OT: My biggest blunder? Honestly, I think my biggest blunder is the fact that I let my own fear get the better of me when dealing with girls that I liked. I either wouldn't ask them out or be so worried about messing it up that it caused issues. Hell, I've turned down sex with no strings attatched because I wanted a relationship and she didn't. I know that last one sounds a bit backwards, but I like some level of exclusivity in my relationships, damnit. >.>