I am some random fucko on the internet, Ask Me Anything. No subject is taboo.

[BreakfastMan]

So do you have some meal-time related nemesis like Lady Lunch or Dr. Dinner?

Nope. I am not an actual super-hero.

Is your side kick Brunch Boy then?

I work alone.

I take it your final confrontation is with the twisted nightmare of the Demon of Midnight Snack.

I suppose you could phrase it like that, yes...

 

[FPLOON]

What happens when an unquestionable question meets an unanswerable answer?

 

[Barbas]

What happens when Ted Nugent meets Dave Matthews?

 

[UltraDeth]

Have you woken up to the taste of Kellogg's Cornflakes?
Basmala, Will you let me go?
Do you wanna build an empire?

 

[Barbas]

What's your favourite weapon manufacturer?
How do you like to get around in the post-apocalyptic wasteland?
Did you create the anomaly?

 

[BreakfastMan]

What happens when an unquestionable question meets an unanswerable answer?

A contradiction happens.

What happens when Ted Nugent meets Dave Matthews?

The destruction of both, hopefully. Like matter meeting antimatter.

Have you woken up to the taste of Kellogg's Cornflakes?

Technically, yes.

Basmala, Will you let me go?

Not quite yet, I still need more of your blood.

Do you wanna build an empire?

Is that like building a snowman?

What's your favourite weapon manufacturer?

Megacorp

How do you like to get around in the post-apocalyptic wasteland?

Riding Centaurs, mostly.

Did you create the anomaly?

No, it came from the sky. Now get out of here, stalker!

 

[Barbas]

This one appears to be from a fan in Glasgow:

Shitnipples or pricknipples?

 

[BreakfastMan]

This one appears to be from a fan in Glasgow:

Shitnipples or pricknipples?

Spunk is better than shit, I guess, so... Pricknipples?

 

[Barbas]

Okay then, pineapples or strawberries?

 

[BreakfastMan]

Okay then, pineapples or strawberries?

Depends; what are we doing with them?

 

[FPLOON]

Do you fear the walking dead or the strain?

 

[Barbas]

Depends; what are we doing with them?

You put them in your piehole.

OT: Would you rather travel by magic carpet or battle mech?

 

[BreakfastMan]

Do you fear the walking dead or the strain?

Neither, honestly.

Depends; what are we doing with them?

You put them in your piehole.

OT: Would you rather travel by magic carpet or battle mech?

Who would anyone choose anything besides battle mech?

 

[Barbas]

Why did the future refuse to change?
Why are you hitting that brick wall?
What happened last week?
Where was I the last two days?
Where are all the vocal dissenters?

 

[FPLOON]

Who would win a mental decathlon: Spooky, Scary, or a Skeleton?

 

[Barbas]

Would you rather face off against a shambling legion of zombles or a clattering cadre of skellingtons?

 

[BreakfastMan]

Why did the future refuse to change?

Because you didn't do it right!

Why are you hitting that brick wall?

Trying to get the teachers to leave them kids alone.

What happened last week?

Some serious shit.

Where was I the last two days?

Cambodia, obviously.

Where are all the vocal dissenters?

In your mind

Who would win a mental decathlon: Spooky, Scary, or a Skeleton?

Skeleton actually has bones, so I would go with him.

Would you rather face off against a shambling legion of zombles or a clattering cadre of skellingtons?

Skellingtons, any day.

 

[FPLOON]

Who is she?
When can we finally have a haunted Blu-Ray?
Who lives in a vibrator under the sea?

 

[BreakfastMan]

Who is she?

What? You mean you don't know?

When can we finally have a haunted Blu-Ray?

What, you mean that ghosty spooks movie from 1995 with that lady who wears lots of leather in those cheapo vampire movies?

Who lives in a vibrator under the sea?

Your mum

 

[FPLOON]

Who is she?

What? You mean you don't know?

Is she the reason my name's tattooed on her back?

When can we finally have a haunted Blu-Ray?

What, you mean that ghosty spooks movie from 1995 with that lady who wears lots of leather in those cheapo vampire movies?

Exactly! So, soon, then?

Who lives in a vibrator under the sea?

Your mum

When did she buy one of those?