I am some random fucko on the internet, Ask Me Anything. No subject is taboo.

[Yuno Gasai]

DANK. Discuss.
What's the last thing you searched for?
What am I thinking about right now?

 

[Barbas]

Who ees thees Gasai?
She have passport?
Do you consent to full kebab search?

 

[FPLOON]

Can you still call collect right now?
Is there any movie not worth it on just Blu-ray?
Why is everyone sticking to just three questions?
Quack or Doctor?

 

[Barbas]

What are the odds of successfully navigating an asteroid field?
How long did it take this piece of junk to make the Kessel Run?
What is the most soothing background colour?

 

[FPLOON]

What does "being on a committee" feel like?
When's third lunch?
Is it [still] okay to eat crazy-ass crackers out of the box?

 

[BreakfastMan]

Why is couple-fighting "normal"?

Hey, sometimes you just have to tag-team that annoying married couple from down the street with your SO, you know?

I don't know, you know? So, how would I know, yo?

Through the power of magic.

OT: Who do I owe money to?

The german scat porn industry?

Without Sacajawea, would Clark still be in Duluth or would York get out of Dodge?

Could go either way.

If a show get worse in-universe, is it still worth watching for fun?

X-files and Star Trek say yes.

By law of probability, everyday's an anniversary correct?

And an anniversary of a horrible murder, too.

Why does no one want to watch the new Beowolf series with me?

Because you have terrible taste in television.

I am wondering...why are you here?

To chew bubblegum and kick ass. Still working on the gum.

Mmm, wars not make one great?

They make a lot great.

Is that why you fail?

I fail because of my own incompetence, nothing else.

What dreams of chronic and sustained flatulence?

Dead Cthulhu in R'lyeh?

Who is the prettiest Unicorn?

you.

Do you smell what I'm cooking?

Onion soup?

Would you like to join the next Serial Killer game?

*looks at stack of bodies* I think I already have.

Ultraviolet or Thermal Red?

Cheesy 80's synths.

Did you "Take Back The Falls" as well?

Not yet.

Who fucked up Episode I?

Your Mum.

Where was Berman when this was happening?

Ruining Star Trek, the hack-fraud.

What is it with Ricks, anyway?

Ask their Interdimensional counsel. You will have to get through the Mortys first, however.

Was Arrested Development a modern day Soap?

A modern day Soap Dish, maybe.

Is the complete series out on Blu-ray yet?

Not checked.

Zero Suit or Full-body Hair: Which would you wear forever if those were your only options?

Zero Suit. The hair thing sounds gross.

Do you love Criken?

Nope, I am a Vinesauce man.

Do you love mega months?

I love me some Mega Milk, I can say that much.

Are you excited for ABF Mega Month???

Nope.

What's the last thing you searched for?

A cure for cancer.

What am I thinking about right now?

Mega Milk.

Who ees thees Gasai?

Some fucker.

She have passport?

I dunno, somewhere.

Do you consent to full kebab search?

Only if you get really handsy.

Can you still call collect right now?

Not sure, never tried. I have unlimited calling.

Is there any movie not worth it on just Blu-ray?

Probably some Italian cannibal movie.

Why is everyone sticking to just three questions?

Because they are uncreative sillys.

Quack or Doctor?

Doctor Doctor, please. Can't you see I am going fast?

What are the odds of successfully navigating an asteroid field?

Depends on how you are doing it.

How long did it take this piece of junk to make the Kessel Run?

1.21 gigawatts.

What is the most soothing background colour?

The blood of my enemies.

What does "being on a committee" feel like?

Terrible

When's third lunch?

After second lunch.

Is it [still] okay to eat crazy-ass crackers out of the box?

Nah, that is too crazy.

 

[FPLOON]

Who do I owe money to?

The german scat porn industry?

Why do you and my drama teacher keep reminding me of that?

Would you like to join the next Serial Killer game?

*looks at stack of bodies* I think I already have.

Then, PM me if you don't mind continuing [on] to the next Round...

Quack or Doctor?

Doctor Doctor, please. Can't you see I am going fast?

So, Iron Maiden then?

OT: Would eBay lie to me?
Fuck, Marry, or Kill: Joke, Knight, or Brother?
If The Room was a musical, would it then be the best worse musical?
Is it better to renew a series based on popularity or on critic appraise?

 

[BreakfastMan]

Who do I owe money to?

The german scat porn industry?

Why do you and my drama teacher keep reminding me of that?

Oh, no reason...

Quack or Doctor?

Doctor Doctor, please. Can't you see I am going fast?

So, Iron Maiden then?

No, UFO. Pleb.

OT: Would eBay lie to me?

Oh yeah, quite often.

Fuck, Marry, or Kill: Joke, Knight, or Brother?

None of the above

If The Room was a musical, would it then be the best worse musical?

Nah, that is the Troll 2 musical.

Is it better to renew a series based on popularity or on critic appraise?

Renew it on the canonical dick length of the main character.

 

[FPLOON]

Is it better to renew a series based on popularity or on critic appraise?

Renew it on the canonical dick length of the main character.

So, Galavant's dick is THAT big? Or just big enough to dedicate, at least, a month's worth of Sundays to per year?

OT: What doesn't count as a worse first impression?
Is Scott a better host or is Scott the better band?
Do you know any good decent Blu-ray reviewers?
Can you sum up The Escapist forums in song form (with an example)?

 

[BreakfastMan]

Is it better to renew a series based on popularity or on critic appraise?

Renew it on the canonical dick length of the main character.

So, Galavant's dick is THAT big? Or just big enough to dedicate, at least, a month's worth of Sundays to per year?

Yes.

OT: What doesn't count as a worse first impression?

Shitting in your host's hands instead of shaking them

Is Scott a better host or is Scott the better band?

Host.

Do you know any good decent Blu-ray reviewers?

Nope, sorry. I stream all my movies.

Can you sum up The Escapist forums in song form (with an example)?

Sure.


Is that sufficient?

 

[UltraDeth]

How'd it get burned?
What is the most ultra-violent force you've encountered in games?
How much is that shotgun in the window?
Would you kindly?

 

[FPLOON]

Can you sum up The Escapist forums in song form (with an example)?

Sure.


Is that sufficient?

I laughed at the implied connection, so I guess so...

OT: What's your opinion on Vice and/or Viceland?
If adults don't exist, then who are we really fighting against?
A time cop plus a ticking time bomb equals what?
Is Outsiders basically Sons of Anarchy only without Hellboy?
Was is considered smart/dumb marketing?

 

[BreakfastMan]

How'd it get burned?

Trying to make a homemade flamethrower. Wasn't my brightest idea, I admit...

What is the most ultra-violent force you've encountered in games?

Burger King.

How much is that shotgun in the window?

2 pence.

Would you kindly?

Oh, if you insist. *grabs golf club*

Can you sum up The Escapist forums in song form (with an example)?

Sure.


Is that sufficient?

I laughed at the implied connection, so I guess so...

OT: What's your opinion on Vice and/or Viceland?

I spend way more time watching those mini-documentaries than I should probably admit...

If adults don't exist, then who are we really fighting against?

Ourselves? Isn't that always the answer?

A time cop plus a ticking time bomb equals what?

A ticking time bomb?

Is Outsiders basically Sons of Anarchy only without Hellboy?

Nah, that is BPRD.

Was is considered smart/dumb marketing?

Old Spice, really.

 

[FPLOON]

What's your opinion on Vice and/or Viceland?

I spend way more time watching those mini-documentaries than I should probably admit...

Oh shit! I used to do that, too... before I stopped getting/paying for HBO and Vice launched their own damn channel...

If adults don't exist, then who are we really fighting against?

Ourselves? Isn't that always the answer?

Is it really that simple of an explanation?

A time cop plus a ticking time bomb equals what?

A ticking time bomb?

What happens to the time cop, then?

Was is considered smart/dumb marketing?

Old Spice, really.

Is it because of Tim and Eric or not just because of them?

OT: What's in the heart of the sea?
What's the best rated-R film... to show to kids uncut/uncensored?
Why does Hulu want my provider?
What's not a drug?
When the next biopic coming out?

 

[BreakfastMan]

Is it really that simple of an explanation?

Yeah, sure, lets go with that.

A time cop plus a ticking time bomb equals what?

A dead cop?
A ticking time bomb?

What happens to the time cop, then?

Was is considered smart/dumb marketing?

Old Spice, really.

Is it because of Tim and Eric or not just because of them?

I mean, they certainly didn't hurt. But, neither did the internet.

OT: What's in the heart of the sea?

I dunno, water probably?

What's the best rated-R film... to show to kids uncut/uncensored?

Cannibal Holocaust. Or A Serbian Film. Or Vase de Noces? Perhaps Salo: 100 days of sodom?

Why does Hulu want my provider?

Because hulu is a poorly designed service?

What's not a drug?

This rock over here. Would like to try and see you get high off of that!

When the next biopic coming out?

Any day now.

 

[FPLOON]

What's in the heart of the sea?

I dunno, water probably?

...That's it?

What's the best rated-R film... to show to kids uncut/uncensored?

Cannibal Holocaust. Or A Serbian Film. Or Vase de Noces? Perhaps Salo: 100 days of sodom?

So... Any movie, then?

Why does Hulu want my provider?

Because hulu is a poorly designed service?

On Laptop or Tablet?

OT: Why don't commercials credit the music that they sample?
If the House Party is not actually at the house, then is it still called a House Party?
What is a Spring Breaker?
Does Jason Statham only does movies he'll enjoy, right?
Who's St. Patrick?

 

[BreakfastMan]

What's in the heart of the sea?

I dunno, water probably?

...That's it?

Maybe some trash, too.

What's the best rated-R film... to show to kids uncut/uncensored?

Cannibal Holocaust. Or A Serbian Film. Or Vase de Noces? Perhaps Salo: 100 days of sodom?

So... Any movie, then?

No, just those movies.

Why does Hulu want my provider?

Because hulu is a poorly designed service?

On Laptop or Tablet?

Both, really.

OT: Why don't commercials credit the music that they sample?

Reasons.

If the House Party is not actually at the house, then is it still called a House Party?

Because house music plays the entire time.

What is a Spring Breaker?

Someone who breaks spring.

Does Jason Statham only does movies he'll enjoy, right?

Nah, he basically does anything that will get a good pay check.

Who's St. Patrick?

Some irish fuck. Made green beer and leprechauns, I think.

 

[FPLOON]

Does Jason Statham only does movies he'll enjoy, right?

Nah, he basically does anything that will get a good pay check.

Is that why he turned down Transporter: Refueled? Lack of payback in the pending pay check?

OT: Who will win in a fight: a Dad or a Step-dad?
Why did a kid's movie use "alternative porn music" in their marketing?
Is it really worth spending money on something that will stop existing by next month?
Should I take a shower or get a V8?

 

[BreakfastMan]

Does Jason Statham only does movies he'll enjoy, right?

Nah, he basically does anything that will get a good pay check.

Is that why he turned down Transporter: Refueled? Lack of payback in the pending pay check?

Quite possibly.

OT: Who will win in a fight: a Dad or a Step-dad?

...Scissors?

Why did a kid's movie use "alternative porn music" in their marketing?

Well, it wouldn't make sense to use normal porn music, now would it?

Is it really worth spending money on something that will stop existing by next month?

Depends on how much happiness that thing gives you in the moment.

Should I take a shower or get a V8?

Did you consider perhaps taking a shower in V8?

 

[FPLOON]

Should I take a shower or get a V8?

Did you consider perhaps taking a shower in V8?

How would one do that that simulates an actual shower?

OT: Did ABC Family change their name because of their mostly-female demographic?
When's the next sale?
"Tell me why" or "give me a reason"?
Why don't the villains kill the ones trying to find them out firsthand instead of dragging them along with a wild goose chase?