I have a putter under my bed

[holographicman]

A machete.
Also,
my grandparent's room contains a walk in closet
with 6 rifles
a katana
about 10 hunting knives
and
a grenade< joking

 

[Dr. Awesome Face]

A machete.

Always good to have one in case of zombie acpocalypse.

 

[NickIsCool]

I've got my fists and a spare mouse next to my bed... and also various tools at the foot of my bed from fixing a hole in the dry wall from accidentally firing off one of my fists

should someone break in, improvising shouldnt be to difficult

 

[Gardenia]

I'm one of those pesky gun-control bastards. So no. Also, I have never known somebody whose house has been broken into.
EDIT: If you don't count that one time I broke into my mates house with some friends and drank their cola/played tekken. But that doesn't count, right? The window was open!

 

[KiLl_RoY]

I had a lead pipe under my bed but now it`s gone and I don`t know where it is.... I think im taking the crowbar now.

 

[Johnmw]

I'm not afraid of robbery. Well I am, of course, but I'm not expecting it to happen. I haven't got a weapon ready anywhere.

This really. Where the hell do all you live? Remind me never to live there ... I wouldn't feel comfortable living anywhere you apparently need a functional arsenal to sleep at night. An Englishman's home is his castle, no one breaks into my castle!

 

[Pinstar]

"I think I'll use my 4-iron...Fore!"
"For what?"
"For...hittin people"
-MST3K

 

[Banana Phone Man]

I have my baby knife which I was given when i was born. It has my name engraved on it o if I have to use it they will know it was me. Probably wouldn't use it though because I saw a news story of a man who killed one and injured another robbers that were stealing from his house. However he was the one who got the jail time. The injured robber was then trying to sue him. I guess I would only use the knife for the threat of just having a knife.

 

[Booze Zombie]

I've a number of heavy objects laying around my bed room, the heaviest of which I could probably lift being a big speaker or the metal stand the speaker is on.

The metal stand looks like it'd catch a person pretty hard around the head.

 

[Exocet]

A couple empty beer bottles,a few broomsticks and if it's really needed,I can just unplug my heater,lift it up and throw it at the poor fool trying to rob a place where 3 people are living within earshot of one another.
Overall,my room has improvised weaponry,at best.But so far nothing else has been needed.

 

[RobotNinja]

I have a machete and a Ka-Bar knife

 

[Jesus Phish]

I have a metal softball bat in my room just over my window. We also keep a hurling stick handy upstairs where the bedrooms are. For anyone not sure what a hurl is, it's used in an Irish sport and looks like this

 

[Shadowfaze]

I have a Machete under my pillow. Its uncomfortable, but i feel safer, at least.

 

[King of the Sandbox]

I have a dog and a wife. We have a synchronized attack worked out that I learned in a dream.

When an intruder breaks in, my wife straddles my extended forearm like a witch's broom and extends her own arm. Then, our dog jumps onto her arm, fangs bared, ready for battle.

Finally, we all howl in righteous anger as I launch my wife at the attacker, who then fires our dog.

Man, I cannot wait for someone to break in here.

 

[Quaxar]

I have a tiger. My house is also set up with horribly dangerous yet hilarious traps, including but not limited to cans of paint that will hit them when they go up the stairs and irons that will burn their faces and buttons that look really enticing and when you press them you get electrocuted so badly people can see your skeleton.

Wow, and I tought Home Alone was just a film...

As for me, I have a dirk next to my bed but I live on the fourth floor right under the roof with one possible entry point (the main door). Also, the situation is not that bad here. So I feel pretty safe anyway and don't intend on using it. Provided there is no zombie attack of course.

 

[ezeroast]

I used to have some hatchet but I think I miss placed it. I got some pipe thingy by me now.

That's odd. I found a hatchet when I moved into my current home seven years ago, and that's what I keep at MY bedside.

When did you lose yours?

Did you happen to lose a pipe thingy?

 

[RanD00M]

I have 3 katanas and a big ass knife.And I'm pretty handy with all 4.

 

[WolfThomas]

I live in a two person dorm room (with divider) by myself for this year of placement, I keep my KA-Bar marine fighting knife in a relatively inconspicuous cupboard behind my bed, this is mainly because it's the most safest and out of the way place in my tiny room, but I guess I could get it out in seconds should someone or something trys to breakdown my door (it's always locked and I am on the second story).