I have an addict under my roof !

[InnerRebellion]

You do realize you could have put parental restrictions on his play time, correct? That is what my folks did to my account once the school year started. That way, we get to play for a few hours, (Do not be one of those horrible "you may play for 1 hour!" moms. Give him maybe 2 to 3 hours per day, but only after he finishes homework). And, he is not addicted. If he was, he would NEVER leave his computer. Remember, he is from a generation that relies on technology, and you denying him his computer is basically taking away a critical part of his "survival".

 

[Om Nom Nom]

I think a better idea, rather than cutting him off entirely, would be to enforce a time limit (two hours is enough to start with).

Whether it's just a family PC or you have several networked PCs, you have a lot of options on how to do it. Or you can just use the good old way of pulling the plug.

You can very well turn his addiction into a very powerful motivator. For instance rewarding good performance/behaviour in school, doing chores, and eating healthily/exercising (playing a sport definitely counts) with extra time for his gaming during the weekends. You can fairly easily turn the time limit into a reward rather than a punishment.

He'd rebel against you at first, naturally, but he'll take to it nicely after a while.

 

[MetalGenocide]

If the kids grades aren't affected, it may be a "better than most" situation, but getting rid of the game is best. At the very least something less addicting.
WUT. Those great freakout videos are completely staged.

 

[Angryman101]

I am not much of gamer. I come on here to read the articles, really. I am however the mother of a 12 year old gamer, who has lost his mind to World of Warcraft. I have had to block all access to WoW because He had been acting like a true addict.
He plays all night. He sneaks up in the middle of the night to play. When I take the game and his computer away this normally well behaved child turns into a crazed idiot willing to fight me for his computer and the ability to play it.
So as it stands he cannot play and he is mourning the loss of his online friends. Is this a common experience?

Please, please, PLEASE disregard this person's advice:

Being oppressive does not help. If you want him to not do something, have something else for him to do. I dont mean chores either, but fun things. I spend most of my time gaming. Id spend less time gaming though if I could hang out with friends more, for example.

I do NOT believe I am be oppressive! I am providing as much for him to do as possible! I have been encouraging him to spend time with friends and do the other things he love to do!
He has fun when we are out doing things and goes right back to harassing me to let him play the minute we get home.
I don't mind him playing; not at all. I just want him to keep it in balance and show me some better behavior first!

Whether YOU think you are being oppressive does not matter. If HE thinks you are though, does. I am merely stating from the point of view as the child, as my mother took away games and such when I was being "bad" or something. Lets just say I hate her, alot. Beyond for just that ofcourse, but either way, I hate my mother but wish I did not.
How into video games are you? You ARE on this site, and since it is gaming focused, it leads me to believe you are a gamer to some degree. If so, why not try to find games you can play with him? He plays games AND forges a stronger bond with you, and the more he loves you, the more he will like making you happy.

What you're doing (taking away privileges in response to unwanted behavior) is EXACTLY what you should be doing. As others have said, use it as the carrot in a carrot-stick arrangement; get him to show favorable behavior, and he may get his carrot; playtime. If he continues to show the unwanted behavior, keep giving him the stick: no playtime with the game. You are doing what a good parent should and I very much wish that more parents did these days; disciplining their child. You need to lay down the law; be firm, but fair. It's called authoritative parenting and it's the most effective type of parenting there is. Give him play time for favorable activities (monitored and for limited periods of time. Do not lay off on this, as the behavior will come right back as soon as you slack off. Make it a habit.)
My parents did this with me, and even though I was always very angry and pouty about it, it has really helped me in the long run.

 

[Foxtrotk72]

just hide the power cord some where safe or take the graphics card out, cancel the account. is just a game is not the end of the world for your kid

EDIT: if your paying for the subscription then you have a right to do what u want with it also another idea occured prob one hour of World of Warcraft would be good even im addict to it, im limiting my use of the game i only play maybe 1hour a day if i choose to or go over to a friends house, your son should get out more.

im not fully addicted to wow im just enjoying life with my 2 dogs

 

[Iznat]

You can use the email and password which I assume you know, as likely you paid, to control how long he spends on WoW.


https://www.wow-europe.com/en/info/faq/parentalcontrols.html


That'll fix er.

 

[Flamezdudes]

Say the computer broke. That's what got me to stop my addiction, then i couldn't get on it at all, so when the PC came back i didn't want to play it or be assed to install again.

 

[TrogzTheTroll]

I am not much of gamer. I come on here to read the articles, really. I am however the mother of a 12 year old gamer, who has lost his mind to World of Warcraft. I have had to block all access to WoW because He had been acting like a true addict.
He plays all night. He sneaks up in the middle of the night to play. When I take the game and his computer away this normally well behaved child turns into a crazed idiot willing to fight me for his computer and the ability to play it.
So as it stands he cannot play and he is mourning the loss of his online friends. Is this a common experience?

If his schoolwork hasn't been impacted it shouldn't matter.

His life has been impacted! His temperament and personality have been impacted! He has become impossible to live with! If I let him sneak up to play video games all night of course his school work will be impacted!

His life has been impacted? Of course it has! Your child has had the wonderful experiance of being able to pwn n00bz and top the charts on the DPS meter. His life is complete when he downs the LK... let him be little Alliance/Horde he is.

 

[Isolda Sage]

I think a good start would be taking his computers power cable every night.

Yeah, I did that. That resulted in a blow up not so different than that video.

 

[MercurySteam]

So as it stands he cannot play and he is mourning the loss of his online friends. Is this a common experience?

I'm afraid so. So people get over it, many others don't. By this I mean the long hours spent on a MMORPG. He will never give up trying to get it back. Limiting his time to a few hours a day is much better for all parties involved instead of cutting him off completely.

 

[Outright Villainy]

I think a good start would be taking his computers power cable every night.

Yeah, I did that. That resulted in a blow up not so different than that video.

He'll get over it. Especially when he realises that he'll have to change his attitude to play the game. Don't let him play at all for a day or two if he throws a tantrum, and make it very clear he can only play for a limited time and IF he cuts the complaining. He'll change tack soon enough.

Limiting his time to a few hours a day is much better for all parties involved instead of cutting him off completely.

Indeed so, if he can't play the game at all, the tantrums might not stop, and he'll become resentful. The carrot and stick approach is the best one here.

 

[Trogdor1138]

(I'm 18)

As some have said, limit his playing time to 3-4 hours a day. Maybe if he's doing well in school (or doing well in whatever else aspect) bump it up to another hour. That's the most simple way I can think of.

I played Wow earlier in the year for about 2 months a lot, it replaced a lot of other hobbies I had and I was always playing with a couple of friends I had in real life, it was distracting me from my classes a little bit but not too much to the point of being worried (I'm a film maker). I played it and I know several people who have the same reason, that I mainly played it due to depression and a complete lack of confidence in anything I was doing, it distracted and kept my mind busy for hours a day. I never got addicted to the game I was able to stop after my subscription ran out and haven't been back to it since (though I'm intending to go back at a point when I feel comfortable to).

The reason I stopped playing was because a girl came along and we fell in love with each other instantly and have been happily with together for over six months now, we're both of the mindset we're soul mates and everything has felt perfect since, so it's very fortunate this all lined up.

Sorry if it's largely irrelevant to the situation, but thought I'd give some perspective from my own experiences. I guess what I'm also saying is that he might have some issues that you don't know about and a reason he wants to play if he's arguing with you about it so much. If he has his online friends it's definitely something that will affect him and in my opinion would be a bad idea to keep him away from them, I know my online friends have helped me more than most would think. You also run the risk of him disliking you and his mind telling him that for years down the track.

I'd say just try talking to him about everything, it's hard with a 12 year old (I certainly was) but if there's something wrong in life then try and help him fix that.

Also, don't suggest what else he can do, coming from personal experience when my mum makes suggestions at times it pretty much deters me from doing that option, it's just how the brain works I spose. At these ages we don't like to be told what to do.

Well hope something out of that wall of text helped, good luck with it all and let everyone know how things are going.

 

[Vidiot]

As someone who has dealt with both behavioral and physical addiction, yes. WoW (specifically, as well as online gaming in general) can become a behavioral addiction.

As posted above, this often comes from issues related to feelings of inadequacy. In game he's a powerful hero, able to lead a team into treacherous territory and slay imposing monsters. I'd venture that out of game he has very little sense of control over his own life and destiny.

Often this can be a coping mechanism for depression and social awkwardness. What he really needs is a reason to like himself and his *real* life. Martial arts, sports, or even just the subtle shift to playing xbox on the couch with real friends can make a massive difference.

*edit* one question to ask or ponder: When he sneaks out of his room to play the game at night, are his friends online or is he playing solo?

Part of what makes the online gaming experience so unique and compelling is the social aspect. The game is more real for him because his online friends help flesh out that realism. When an alcoholic drinks with other alcoholics, they feel less like anything is wrong with what they are doing.
One suggestion, plan a 3 or so hour block when his friends can expect to find him online on a predictable basis. This way it feels less arbitrary when it's time to log off. His friends can expect when to see him, and when not to see him online.

 

[Michael Dagastino]

Being oppressive does not help. If you want him to not do something, have something else for him to do. I dont mean chores either, but fun things. I spend most of my time gaming. Id spend less time gaming though if I could hang out with friends more, for example.

good advice.
Im pretty much the same way. All i have time for is college and (home)work. and when i am free, my friends are at work/school. I mean there are other things like golf i could play, but some how with out someone else, its kind of bland.

 

[Isolda Sage]

Thanks this is helpful. A number of people have said don't give suggestions so I guess I will \give him choices. "Do you want to go to the movies or to your friends house?" because I've got to get him out of the house. The snivelling is too much!

 

[Vidiot]

I imagine part of that sniveling comes from his online "obligations". The more you play the game, the more people expect you to be online. One doesn't want to disappoint...

 

[Zing]

Yes. My brother was the same, but my mum just took it off him completely...and his internet...then sent him to board at school cause he was failing and going to lose his scholarship.

No high school student should be playing WoW, at least not during the term, unless they aren't an addictive person/aren't addicted to WoW.

 

[SL33TBL1ND]

I am not much of gamer. I come on here to read the articles, really. I am however the mother of a 12 year old gamer, who has lost his mind to World of Warcraft. I have had to block all access to WoW because He had been acting like a true addict.
He plays all night. He sneaks up in the middle of the night to play. When I take the game and his computer away this normally well behaved child turns into a crazed idiot willing to fight me for his computer and the ability to play it.
So as it stands he cannot play and he is mourning the loss of his online friends. Is this a common experience?

Maybe you should just sit down and talk to him about why he wants to play. He might be being bullied at school or something, so he feels he has to escape to a better world. I also recommend talking to our resident psychologist Dr Mark. He would be able to help as well. So just have a chat with your kid, try to understand why he wants to play this game so much, and from there you should be able to find a solution. Just remember to be careful with this talk though, your child might get very defensive when you talk about this, so try and be as non-threatening as possible.

Good luck.

 

[RatRace123]

I think you made the right choice, Warcraft does that sort of thing to people.

And if your son is acting up because you've tried to limit his time, you have every right to control it until he starts cutting down.
As much as I hate to generalize it, some people can't play MMOs, they have addictive personalities and get sucked in to the alternate reality, this isn't just child restricted either... look at Korea (only half joking)

I wouldn't completely deprive him, but cutting him off at certain times, or if he's showing an attitude is good.
And thank you for coming to a game focused community with this issue, instead of a parental watchdog group... Ugh.