I have decided to be completely honest, escapists, so I wrote this. I hope someone will read it.

[DonMartin]

I'm a Finn too, so I realize where you're going with this. I'm 15 an during my entire life, I've only had 3 friends, and 2 of them were prics. I learned to look on the bright side of things. I'm a naturally good problem solver and I have a extensive imagination. I can be happy in any situation if I want to. (Somehow I feel kind of pretentious right now) There's also a downside to that. I have a problem with depression. It's not like I get manically depressed or anything. I just can't get depressed easily, which means it all gets automatically packed inside. I live with 2 sisters of the same age, they absolutely HATE when I talk "smartly" or act maturely. They just tell me to stop acting smart, which in turn makes me question myself. I usually just close myself inside my imagination and wait until time passes for long enough and I feel normal again.
To tell you the truth, I have absolutely no idea why I wrote this. I guess I felt like relating. I guess what I'm trying to say is.... I'll come back to you on that one.
Please don't feel negatively about me for writing this. I guess I was in need of some venting out too.

Venting is good. Youre just doing what youre hoping for if youre venting, hopefully it felt good to have some kind of an outlet!
You can do it, man. It's tough, I know, most people do, but you'll make it through. If Ive learned anything today, it's that the Escapist listens. And most escapists can relate. It's great to know youre not alone.

Thanks for sharing, man. And thanks for responding and reading, too. I means a lot.

 

[Funkysandwich]

Don't worry about it so much. I'm actually not really motivated enough to succeed at anything in life at the moment, so I'm just plugging away at a dead end job till I can pull myself out of the rut I seem to be in.

There's always someone doing worse then you are, so feel sorry for them instead of yourself.

 

[DonMartin]

Yeah, the Jante-Law is a *****.. Didnt know it was up in Finland as well, thought it was mostly a danish thing..

Keep your head high dude.. Life is a war, but all humans has the power to win the battles.. I myself has just recently found that out..

Peace out..

Thanks a lot for responding and reading, man.

 

[DonMartin]

Don't worry about it so much. I'm actually not really motivated enough to succeed at anything in life at the moment, so I'm just plugging away at a dead end job till I can pull myself out of the rut I seem to be in.

There's always someone doing worse then you are, so feel sorry for them instead of yourself.

I dont really feel sorry for myself, and Im sorry if that impression came across. I can sort of see how it would, so you know, that's not the case. At least I dont think so.

Thanks anyway man. I try to help others who are worse off than me, as often as I can. Just thought Id mention it. Good luck to you!

 

[mechanixis]

You know, when I went through this phase, I had actual friends to talk to about it.

I have too, and I do talk to them. But I just somehow find that there is a certain therapy in talking to strangers, you know? Also, the Escapist community can be incredibly supportive, AND I THANK YOU ALL FOR THAT (In a loud voice so everyone hears)

Also, I can reach a bigger "audience" here, so it's easier to find someone who can relate to this and tell me about their experience, if they want to. And that's something I am very grateful for, as many have.

I know it's a phase, and I'll get through it. Im sure I will.

Thanks for responding anyway, man!

Hm. Fair enough, I suppose. I apologize for being scathing; I don't think it's healthy for people to be socially dependent on internet, and when I see this sort of drama it's what I infer. The Escapist is certainly more progressive and perhaps more intelligent than some other forums, but I don't think it's any less toxic if you get too invested in it.

Stay calm and carry on.

 

[Mr.Squishy]

OP, are you me?

 

[DonMartin]

snippety

No worries, man. And I agree with you, as well, about being socially dependent on the internet. I dont get too invested, I think. I tried to remain very unpersonal while being personal. I hope I succeeded somewhat.

Good luck to you too, my good sir.

 

[DonMartin]

OP, are you me?

From what I can gather, there are quite a few of us. Youre never alone, and I think we all know that, some better than others.

You can do it, man. And thanks for reading. I am grateful for that.

 

[nerfando]

OP, are you me?

My thoughts exactly.

/salute

 

[DonMartin]

OP, are you me?

My thoughts exactly.

/salute

And thus we can conclude that there are indeed many of us who go through this. Most people, to some extent.

Thank you for reading. I hope you gained something from it. Thanks for responding, too.

 

[trollnystan]

Wow, it felt like you were describing me there. I'm from Sweden so I know Jantelagen intimately. My father was an alcoholic who would psychologically abuse me. People consider me very social even though I'm actually very insecure; I call it "putting my mask on". I smile and laugh and joke a lot, both to seem more confident and happy, and in the hope that if I do that I will eventually actually feel it. It usually works to some degree.

I KNOW certain things about myself but I FEEL the opposite. To hear that someone else feels that way helps.

Thank you very much for sharing and for your honesty.

 

[ELD3RGoD]

I didn't read anything after the message. I can relate to a few things because I used to be very similar, I used to over think things, would get extremely caught up on problems, become confused by peoples reactions and so on, but i've just grown up and learned to live with it. I go out alot more than I used to, socialise with friends, make time for my family and still have the time to do the things I love without being bothered by what other people think.

I was in several fights a year back (Physical) resulting in me causing damage to someone and being damaged several times myself. For a time, it bothered me. I couldn't sleep at night and I stopped going out entirely. Then I realised that it was a learning curve, and I was lucky to survive the last two encounters and I should be proud that I made it through alive rather than hanging my head in shame.

I can also related to the Father business, mine was a massive cock who caused huge tremors through my family, but I have since mentally disowned him and discontinued to think about it. I think you need to learn to shut off the things that cause you to over think and just enjoy your life without being worried about how others will react to you or what their thoughts of you will be. If you know outwardly you are confident, just enjoy it dude.

 

[Dastardly]

MESSAGE:

Do second guess yourself. Please, please do. Do not think that you are always right. Do not put labels on yourself. Calling yourself a heartless bastard will not help you. Deciding to be a cynic does not help you. Don't do that, I beg you. You're only making it worse for yourself and for others.

As your central message, this I can definitely agree with. Often, we use phrases like "It's just my opinion," or "I'm just being brutally honest," and such as a way of saying "So, you're not allowed to disagree with me or tell me to stop." It's apologizing in advance for the fact that we're not going to apologize for being a jerk.

We all go through two phases in our lives: the "grown-ups don't know anything" phase, and the "i have all the answers" phase. In the first one, it's not that we think we know it all... it's just we're realizing that everyone else doesn't know it all, so we enjoy pointing out their mistakes (this usually happens in our early teens). Then later, we grasp a few simple truths, and we suddenly think we know it all. (Usually late teens).

Some people never grow out of it, or they cycle through them again in college/adulthood.

 

[jpblade666]

I read all of it but I must confess that I'm not too good with words, at least when typing a response (weird I know ) but you opened up and thats always a good thing. My dad is a recovering alcoholic and hes in AA and step 1 is "Admitting you have a problem." So I guess you did step 1 perfectly hahaha. I'm not entirely sure what I'm getting to with this, all I guess I'm trying to say is that I read it all like you so kindly asked and that life is what you make it (cliche I know.) If you work t'words your problem you'll find a way over it. You could do what I do when I feel down, eat a bowl of cereal and watch the birds outside my window. Not sure how to close this so I leave you with a quote from Bill Hicks.

The world is like a ride at an amusement park. And when you choose to go on it, you think that it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and round and round. It has thrills and chills, and it's very brightly coloured, and it's very loud and it's fun, for a while. Some people have been on the ride for a long time, and they begin to question - is this real, or is this just a ride? And other people have remembered, and they come back to us. They say 'Hey! Don't worry, don't be afraid, ever, because, this is just a ride.' And we...kill those people. Ha ha ha. 'Shut him up! We have a lot invested in this ride. SHUT HIM UP! Look at my furrows of worry. Look at my big bank account and family. This just has to be real.' It's just a ride. But we always kill those good guys who try and tell us that, you ever notice that? And let the demons run amok. But it doesn't matter because: it's just a ride. And we can change it anytime we want. It's only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings, and money. A choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourselves off. The eyes of love, instead, see all of us as one. Here's what you can do to change the world, right now, to a better ride. Take all that money that we spend on weapons and defence each year, and instead spend it feeding, clothing and educating the poor of the world, which it would many times over, not one human being excluded, and we could explore space, together, both inner and outer, for ever, in peace.
Bill Hicks

 

[KFalcon]

I read your whole post, I can relate to a fair bit of it (well, as the other's say....are you secretly me? or my mind?) I can't really give you any advice because I haven't found the answer to it myself.

But I don't have family troubles etc, but I feel useless at most thing's and thing's i used to be good at I'm useless at now and that makes me feel depressed (probably being too much of a perfectionist). But being a pessimist doesn't really help me or anyone else in the same situation at all.

You've given some good advice within your own post. Hopefully you and everyone else can get through it. Thanks for posting this.

 

[DonMartin]

Wow, it felt like you were describing me there. I'm from Sweden so I know Jantelagen intimately. My father was an alcoholic who would psychologically abuse me. People consider me very social even though I'm actually very insecure; I call it "putting my mask on". I smile and laugh and joke a lot, both to seem more confident and happy, and in the hope that if I do that I will eventually actually feel it. It usually works to some degree.

I KNOW certain things about myself but I FEEL the opposite. To hear that someone else feels that way helps.

Thank you very much for sharing and for your honesty.

If this thread has taught me anything, it's that pretty much everyone experiences this, to some extent. Were not alone, and even those of us with similar upbringings arent alone. There's always someone else, sadly, but at least then we can understand each other, and maybe gain something from interacting with eachother. I hope so, atleast.

Thank you, for responding and reading. And Im very, very happy that it helped, no matter how little.

Thank you, again. We'll get through this, we will.

 

[DonMartin]

I read your whole post, I can relate to a fair bit of it (well, as the other's say....are you secretly me? or my mind?) I can't really give you any advice because I haven't found the answer to it myself.

But I don't have family troubles etc, but I feel useless at most thing's and thing's i used to be good at I'm useless at now and that makes me feel depressed (probably being too much of a perfectionist). But being a pessimist doesn't really help me or anyone else in the same situation at all.

You've given some good advice within your own post. Hopefully you and everyone else can get through it.

Thank you, I hope it helped. We'll get through it, Im sure. It's great that youre abandoning pessimism, too. That just never helps.

Thank you for reading, and for responding. It means a lot.

 

[DonMartin]

MESSAGE:

Do second guess yourself. Please, please do. Do not think that you are always right. Do not put labels on yourself. Calling yourself a heartless bastard will not help you. Deciding to be a cynic does not help you. Don't do that, I beg you. You're only making it worse for yourself and for others.

As your central message, this I can definitely agree with. Often, we use phrases like "It's just my opinion," or "I'm just being brutally honest," and such as a way of saying "So, you're not allowed to disagree with me or tell me to stop." It's apologizing in advance for the fact that we're not going to apologize for being a jerk.

We all go through two phases in our lives: the "grown-ups don't know anything" phase, and the "i have all the answers" phase. In the first one, it's not that we think we know it all... it's just we're realizing that everyone else doesn't know it all, so we enjoy pointing out their mistakes (this usually happens in our early teens). Then later, we grasp a few simple truths, and we suddenly think we know it all. (Usually late teens).

Some people never grow out of it, or they cycle through them again in college/adulthood.

You put it pretty well, that's pretty much what I meant. And I agree, a lot of it is probably just growing up. Most people experience it, and pretty much everyone gets through it.

Thank you for your response. And thanks for putting my thoughts into "better" words, Im happy you got my point.

 

[DonMartin]

I read all of it but I must confess that I'm not too good with words, at least when typing a response (weird I know ) but you opened up and thats always a good thing. My dad is a recovering alcoholic and hes in AA and step 1 is "Admitting you have a problem." So I guess you did step 1 perfectly hahaha. I'm not entirely sure what I'm getting to with this, all I guess I'm trying to say is that I read it all like you so kindly asked and that life is what you make it (cliche I know.) If you work t'words your problem you'll find a way over it. You could do what I do when I feel down, eat a bowl of cereal and watch the birds outside my window. Not sure how to close this so I leave you with a quote from Bill Hicks.

The world is like a ride at an amusement park. And when you choose to go on it, you think that it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and round and round. It has thrills and chills, and it's very brightly coloured, and it's very loud and it's fun, for a while. Some people have been on the ride for a long time, and they begin to question - is this real, or is this just a ride? And other people have remembered, and they come back to us. They say 'Hey! Don't worry, don't be afraid, ever, because, this is just a ride.' And we...kill those people. Ha ha ha. 'Shut him up! We have a lot invested in this ride. SHUT HIM UP! Look at my furrows of worry. Look at my big bank account and family. This just has to be real.' It's just a ride. But we always kill those good guys who try and tell us that, you ever notice that? And let the demons run amok. But it doesn't matter because: it's just a ride. And we can change it anytime we want. It's only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings, and money. A choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourselves off. The eyes of love, instead, see all of us as one. Here's what you can do to change the world, right now, to a better ride. Take all that money that we spend on weapons and defence each year, and instead spend it feeding, clothing and educating the poor of the world, which it would many times over, not one human being excluded, and we could explore space, together, both inner and outer, for ever, in peace.
Bill Hicks

Thank you, that was a pretty great response. Nice quote, too!

Thanks again, for reading and responding. It means a lot.

..also, now Im in the mood for cereal.

 

[DonMartin]

I didn't read anything after the message. I can relate to a few things because I used to be very similar, I used to over think things, would get extremely caught up on problems, become confused by peoples reactions and so on, but i've just grown up and learned to live with it. I go out alot more than I used to, socialise with friends, make time for my family and still have the time to do the things I love without being bothered by what other people think.

I was in several fights a year back (Physical) resulting in me causing damage to someone and being damaged several times myself. For a time, it bothered me. I couldn't sleep at night and I stopped going out entirely. Then I realised that it was a learning curve, and I was lucky to survive the last two encounters and I should be proud that I made it through alive rather than hanging my head in shame.

I can also related to the Father business, mine was a massive cock who caused huge tremors through my family, but I have since mentally disowned him and discontinued to think about it. I think you need to learn to shut off the things that cause you to over think and just enjoy your life without being worried about how others will react to you or what their thoughts of you will be. If you know outwardly you are confident, just enjoy it dude.

Thank you. It's great to hear someone who has already gotten through this phase, and hear how they dealt with it. Sound advice, man.

I thank you, again.