I just had a Dream in the Shower (explicit)

[white_salad]

Wow, I think my vagina just turned into a desert and killed any desire to masturbate this evening...
That's seriously sad, though. I'd offer you a hug, but I feel a little dirty.

This, but replace vagina with penis.And desert with scared turtles head.

 

[Kanlic]

I thought I was obsessed with SC2...hmmm I haven't thrown masturbating to it into the mix yet, you sir are one up on me!

Much obliged brother

Wow, I think my vagina just turned into a desert and killed any desire to masturbate this evening...
That's seriously sad, though. I'd offer you a hug, but I feel a little dirty.

This, but replace vagina with penis.And desert with scared turtles head.

Wow, I have literally destroyed two people's genitalia with this story... sick!

 

[Lullabye]

You thinking what I'm thinking OP? I think you need to write this up into a movie scrip.

oh oh!
And make it one of those silent black and whites.

A little bit of back story, today was just a crap day for me. Two brand new pairs of headphones broke on me, I didn't finish any assignments or complete any notes in my classes, went to play StarCraft 2 to blow off some steam, and when I did get to play, I lost nearly every game. To make matters worse, this girl I was dating shut me down when I ran into her today, not going to get into the details how, but she cut me off at some point saying, "Don't you have a class to go to?"

Fast forward to my late night shower. Living in a dorm, getting my wank on is much harder because privacy is almost non-existent, so I get my business done in the shower. As you could imagine, I really was looking forward to this one because of my bad day, but I couldn't get it up. Another notch on the shittiness of my day, but I continued. At a certain point I closed my eyes and got it going, letting my imagination take control.

I was with the girl that snapped at me today, and we were going at it on my bed. During the process a sudden flash of me playing StarCraft popped up, where three Thors were desperately trying to stop a massive wave of zerglings from breaching the supply depots I had blocking my base entrance. My mind then started jumping back and forth between the defense struggle of my imaginary StarCraft game and my sexual interaction with the girl, with the words "Stop the rush" indicating the switch between the two scenes.

Then the zerglings broke through my supply depots, signaling that I finished too early in the dream and in the shower. I was still in the dream state, my last memory was looking down at a disappointed Mexican Vegan, whose only response to the embarrassment was, "[pause] Don't you have a class to go to?"

So Escapies, any thoughts on my disappointed wank experience?

The near exact same situation happened to me, except I was in a bath. Anyway, I was wankin it to this chick I wanted to date, when I started thinking about my most recent match in gears of war.
Long story short, I climaxed to the image of marcus fenix in my head.

Wow, I've officially been up too long. telling things that should never be told....

 

[Lullabye]

I thought I was obsessed with SC2...hmmm I haven't thrown masturbating to it into the mix yet, you sir are one up on me!

Much obliged brother

Wow, I think my vagina just turned into a desert and killed any desire to masturbate this evening...
That's seriously sad, though. I'd offer you a hug, but I feel a little dirty.

This, but replace vagina with penis.And desert with scared turtles head.

Wow, I have literally destroyed two people's genitalia with this story... sick!

If it makes you feel any better, your story kinda got me har-OKAY I'M GOING TO BED NOW!

 

[Chainsauce]

Awesome, we need more just generally weird shit like this. One of the things I miss from other forums.

 

[Sir Thomas Sean Connery]

Wait.......Jerking off?.......... Boning your girl?...........Zerg Rush?...... What???

[image/]http://punditkitchen.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/128866389753146364.jpg[/IMG]

 

[Kanlic]

The near exact same situation happened to me, except I was in a bath. Anyway, I was wankin it to this chick I wanted to date, when I started thinking about my most recent match in gears of war.
Long story short, I climaxed to the image of marcus fenix in my head.

Wow, I've officially been up too long. telling things that should never be told....

It makes you kind of wonder what some guys think when they are watching porn and see the image of Ron Jeremy's fat greasy head the instant they finish. It must be one of shear embarrassment.

 

[Acid Armageddon]

This entire thread just made my day. In a very disturbing way. I can't stop laughing! By the way it sounded like you were about to "Drop the hammer and deliver some in-di-scriminate justice". Yes, I just ruined the game for myself. Yes, it was worth it!

 

[AgDr_ODST]

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that is all

 

[sb666]

Oh how i love these sorts of topics.

 

[Crysco]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

those are my thoughts

Oh, and that sloth. Made me laugh even harder

 

[PoliceBox63]

That was... different.

OT: Doubtful there's anything we can do help and I don;t think wank stories are fitting really...

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

...whut?

Okay, my thoughts on this are as follows.

A) That is something most people keep to themselves

B) That really is something most people would keep to themselves

C) Don't post about your masturbation experiences here anymore. Otherwise I'll be forced to deploy a...

 

[mageroel]

I'd say play a little less SC2... and try to make up with the girl. Apologise even if you didn't do it. Works for me.

 

[scrambledeggs]

It might be alright if you'd jizzed to a female game character...
But ew.

 

[ottenni]

I have so many puns running through my mind right now that i cant separate them and form a coherent sentence.

Right now i'm thinking something along the lines of

'i hope you dropped a load on her creep'.

Or perhaps you 'rushed her bunker'


or maybe you even 'burrowed your hydra'

and my favorite 'snuck a probe into her natural'

 

[jultub]

Have you ever been as far decided to look more like in the shower?

You've got to be kidding me. I've been further even more decided to use even go need to do look more as anyone can. Can you really be far even as decided half as much to use go wish for that? My guess is that when one really been far even as decided once to use even go want, it is then that he has really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like in the shower. It's just common sense.

 

[Adzma]

I didn't need to read this, and it seems the people before me didn't need to either. -_-

 

[Kanlic]

I'd say play a little less SC2... and try to make up with the girl. Apologise even if you didn't do it. Works for me.

Holy crap you are the first person to give me legitimate advice, and for that I thank thee. The reason that the girl snapped at me was because of an off-color joke about Mexican day-laborers I made when I she told me she just got back from an EPO (Equal Pay Organization) meeting. Growing up with Mexicans all my life in Texas, those kinds of jokes were normal, but this girl is from San Fran, and Cali is its own beast.

I have so many puns running through my mind right now that i cant separate them and form a coherent sentence.

Right now i'm thinking something along the lines of

'i hope you dropped a load on her creep'.

Or perhaps you 'rushed her bunker'


or maybe you even 'burrowed your hydra'

and my favorite 'snuck a probe into her natural'

Hell, those are all solid enough. I'll probably use one or two of those the next time I'm with the fairer sex, just to see what kind of reaction that would illicit.

Have you ever been as far decided to look more like in the shower?

You've got to be kidding me. I've been further even more decided to use even go need to do look more as anyone can. Can you really be far even as decided half as much to use go wish for that? My guess is that when one really been far even as decided once to use even go want, it is then that he has really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like in the shower. It's just common sense.

Thank Christ, I thought I was the only one who didn't know what he was saying. Very funny response man.

 

[Zechnophobe]

In my dreams the Thors always win.