I was attacked by Twilight fangirls on the bus... Scariest moment of my life.

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Long story short, they kind of mobbed me, played with my hair

But I love it when chicks do that...

Well, cute ones. Were they cute?

Yeah, I love getting my hair played with... That sounds very sexual...

But some of these girls were pretty cute, as cute as psychos go. BUT in their defence a couple of them didn't think I looked like R-Pattz much, but just went along with it anyway. Still wierd and creepy to do that to a stranger. What if I was a rapist cocaine-addict?

 

[The Stonker]

Quit your bitchin', at least you don't look like Shrek.

This is so full of win.

But dude, USE IT . Most twilight fanatics are incredibly silly and you could get some action from them.
What I would do is that I would actually act like a pervert, just to scare them off, it reminds me of when a couple of girls asked me if I was doing a comedy show online (it was brought down).
And I said yes, well of course but what happend then was that they carried me off the bus (they were 9 of them and 1 of me.
So I ended up at some girls place while trying to escape.
Good times.

But Twilight a good film? Ehhhhh.....Derp.
Bad actors,bad dialogue and the main charachter is a fragile little girl in a fragile little world and has no personality what so ever except for whining and is clearly a masochist.
While Edward is a sadistic Mary Sue.

 

[The Rockerfly]

That made me gain the sudden urge to track Pattinson down and stab him with a stick and go "TAKE THIS YOU SPARKLY TWAT!"

Don't take it out on him, if it wasn't him the film companies would find someone else. Remember around the time when Lord of the Rings came out, every single girl was obsessed with Orlando Bloom
Before that there was someone else and before that. Robert Pattinson is just a face for the female teenage audience
Be angry at the marketing department of the film industries

 

[Tiger Sora]

I haven't heard anything of Twilight since my sister bought the last book... whenever it came out. I don't like it, I make fun of people who are fan-fans. It's gotten old but I'll still laugh at em for it.

 

[C95J]

Lots of girls seem to get exited over things really easily, and overreact a bit

 

[Nouw]

Aah reminds me of this video.


"Twi-hards and Harry Potter Minions fight likes Israelis and Palestinians"

Well then just live with it, or you can politely tell them to go away.

 

[Shamanic Rhythm]

Well that's just shit, man; way to have a good day ruined. I don't get why so many guys automatically assume having multiple girls crawling all over you is a win win situation. That happened to me once in Vietnam, and they were basically trying to rob/rape me. (Plus I'm not sure all of them WERE girls...)

I have no problem with people who like Twilight, but many of them act like evangelists who have to silence non-believers. Plus they often act as though it's a standard against which to judge all literature. I was in a Creative Writing course last year and there was a pack of about four girls who compared Every.Shitting.Thing to Twilight. When I had to submit work I deliberately wrote a parody of the genre and Stephanie Meyer's godawful style: imagine the grin on my face when the most annoying of them said 'It really reminds me of Twilight!'

Really?? You wrote a Twilight parody and submitted it?? Dude, that's hilarious! I can imagine all those emo and 'deep-poetry' girls getting very excited...

But yeah, thank God my girl wasn't on the bus... Might have awkwardised the relationship a tad...

Yeah it was hilarious, because I basically wrote it about a chick who goes to a halloween party and hooks up with a guy because she THINKS he's a vampire, and I carefully worded all the language to use the syntax of vampire romances without actually stating at any point that WAS a vampire. So they all read it and made comments like: "What happens after he bites her?" to which I replied with smug satisfaction: "Where does it say he 'bites' her? All it reads is: 'He plunged his head down...'" Priceless, I tell you.

 

[Eclectic Dreck]

I seem to be old enough that I don't run into such people. And if I do, they don't make it widely known.

I mean, I assume some portion of the campus population loves Twilight, but thanks to my policy of not associating with silly, silly 18 year olds I have not had a problem.

 

[Estocavio]

You know, a lot of people would probably say "what the fuck are you complaining about? Girls were all over you and telling you you're hot and stuff!" But, I'm not like them. I know what it's like to have standards that supersede sex (and pedophilia for those not paying attention to the girls' age). A "hot" body does nothing to outweigh a brain taken over by this Twilight crap. So, in all honesty, I can say: dude, that sucks. I'm so sorry you had to be subjected to that much retardation.

The most awkward thing was I had just spent a day together with the girl I really care about... Gaaaah...

Yeah, thanks man. It's nice to see another guy who's not just into it for the sexy times. A guy who actually cares about 'that romance crap that girls love so much.'

...Ever thought of taking advantage?

Erm.... NO.

They'd probably throw me into ice cold water and make me bite them so they can get the 'real vampire experience'...

*shudder*

Well, if you bit them enough, eventually they wouldnt be a threat anymore - I mean, they want the vampire experience, drain their blood!

Now lets pretend that whole paragraph of mine never happened, and ill go on to say...
I know alot of female twilight fans. They can be obsessive as hell, so this kind of stuff doesnt suprise me

 

[Aiddon_v1legacy]

It's time like this where I'm glad I bear no resemblance whatsoever to any teen idols (seriously, have men become allergic to growing their hair out?). I'm just hoping the Twi-tard crap blows over after this godawful series ends, though I wonder if it's just going to be replaced by another overrated series that will in turn be replaced by another series. Goddamn cycles

 

[dark_taint92]

Just take it in your stride you had a horde of girl's all over you, tick it off your bucket list . I have to live with being told I look like gaston from the beauty and the beast because of my kick ass pony tail ^^ so your not the only one

 

[RobCoxxy]

Burn everything.

 

[Tharwen]

I've often been mocked for resembling the Proclaimers.

What? Both of them at once? I think you may have a serious problem...

 

[El Poncho]

Twilight fans in my school are no where near as bad. I happily say how shit I think it is and I only get shouted at back. I then mention how it is a woman's choice between Necrophilia and Beastiality , the conversation usually ends there.

 

[Thebiggestpanda]

Seeing as how you are in college and they were in highschool, there must have been an age difference bordering on illegal, if not totally wrong. Could you take advantage of the situation? Yes. But you could also be looking forward to being someones ***** in prison. Word to the wise, killers actually look down on pedophiles.

(I feel your pain, apparently(this is according to people who like twilight for some reason) I look like both the vampire and werewolf guys. Just remember, most of those girls are fifteen. Whenever I get approached I just remember Admiral Ackbaar's imortal words, "Its a Trap!!".)

 

[Thyunda]

I've often been mocked for resembling the Proclaimers.

What? Both of them at once? I think you may have a serious problem...

Let's face it, you can't really resemble just one of them.

As for the topic...I was in Waterstone's, an English bookstore, and they had a whole shelf devoted to Twilight. I pointed out the 'emergency stash incase the heating fails'...and didn't realise the gang of Twitards standing below, chattering excitedly.

At that moment, they all turned and glared at me. Like, dramatic chipmunk style. My girlfriend failed to notice this, and asked what I meant, so me, in my infinite genius, I replied 'teen shit makes good burning.'
The Waterstone's employees fell apart laughing, and the air around the Twilight fans grew thicker with their evil glares.

Needless to say, I bailed out fast.

 

[LaughingAtlas]

Having read Stoker's Dracula, I'm confident that a twilight fan would immediatly go back to dreading noises in their closets and by their windows as their ancestors did if they heard what people thought Vampires could do. Ex: Lucy

Spoiler: I know this story is really old, but still

She was bitten roughly 3 times by Dracula and became more death-like and miserable with every visit until finally expiring from her agonizing ordeal. Naturally, it had only just begun. After they put Lucy in her tomb, they started hearing of "the pale lady" roaming the streets at night, an unnatural sense of evil about her. The main human cast forms a search party, sees her, and follows her back to her tomb, whereupon she turns and shrieks like the thing of nightmare she's become. "Blood dripping from her monstrous fangs, her eyes full of hellfire, and her face pale and skeletal, the face of a twisted corpse." Or something to those lines. The best part is probably when she goes back into her coffin and Arthur, her fiancee, is told he has to cut off her head, fill the mouth with garlic, stake her heart, and burn the body. (with help from the others, of course) "If you love her, you'll kill her now," Helsing tells him.

Imaging having to violently mutilate someone you cared for to save them. You won't probably see that in todays brooding discoballs. A good few decades ago, at least, vampires were fucking monsters

EDIT: Come to think of it, I told a twilight fan about Dracula and before I could even mention the horrid effects she said she'd never touch the book because it be "too scary." NOw we just need a good reminder for lycanthropes and this whole sick monster fetish might blow over.

 

[Dectomax]

My ex was a massive twilight fan. Although, I was lucky enough to avoid being dragged into the cinema to see the films...( Severe case of man flu came up a few days before it's release...). I did have to put up with the endless comments on it and the "Why don't you get your hair done like Robert" lines. All of which were replied to with a chuckle and a quick "NO!".

I've seen a few cases of extreme twilightism ( Scientific term )A guy outside the cinema, on New moons release date, shouted "TWILIGHT IS SHIT!". I nearly burst into laughter at the shocked and bemused expressions of everyone's faces when they turned around.

 

[Deacon Cole]

But yesterday I had to catch a bus home that picks up students from highschools around the city. Lots of younger teens I had been glad I could avoid going to college. When I sat down, I saw about six girls, (around fifteen or so) looking and pointing at me and giggling... I just ignored them.

BUT THEN one of them came and sat next to me, and just said: "Do you know you look like Robert Pattinson?"

I said I had been told that before. And yeah, that's when the chaos started.
Long story short, they kind of mobbed me, played with my hair and tried to force me to sign their legs and stuff. It was so awkward, because a girl I had known from my old school was sitting behind me, and we exchanged disbelieving looks now and again. Eventually half of them had to get off the bus (THANK GOD).

Were they wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots, black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow? Did they call you a prep and put up their middle finger at you?