I wish I was a gay man...(updated on Page 4)

[Helmholtz Watson]

Hear me out on this.

I'm a straight woman, in her mid 30's and often it feels like I've been thrown into the wrong body, and that I'm pretty much doomed to heterosexuality.


Perhaps I'm being overly nieve, perhaps I'm being overly romantic about this, but it seems to me like gay man, and gay male relationships are always so strong, and so loving. Every time you see them in movies and games they always seem so true, and so much more real thin the overplayed hetro relationships. They seem to have more of a connection, and a closeness.

It looks lie it's real 'true love'.

IIRC gay men face higher chance of domestic abuse than lesbians, so yeah your wrong.

 

[Lt._nefarious]

Being a Gay man, or Lesbian, or Straight man, woman whatever doesn't make anything different or special because most of gay people have the same relationship problems straight people do...

 

[Blunderboy]

Yes, because all gay people are exactly the same.
*sigh*
Gay people are exactly like everyone else. Some of them have great relationships, some of them have dreadful ones.
Get your head out of the clouds (or out of your arse) and join the rest of us in the real world please.

 

[idarkphoenixi]

Well as bad as the gay marriage bans in America and other crazy countries are, there is a silver lining to it: Namely, it stops gay people marrying on a whim. If you see a gay married couple in America, chances are they fought pretty hard to be together.

This could be what gives the impression of them having some kind of mystical love connection that nobody else seems to. They're just guys, capable of all the same flaws as anyone else is.

 

[ReservoirAngel]

erhaps I'm being overly nieve, perhaps I'm being overly romantic about this, but it seems to me like gay man, and gay male relationships are always so strong, and so loving. Every time you see them in movies and games they always seem so true, and so much more real thin the overplayed hetro relationships. They seem to have more of a connection, and a closeness.

First off, you really shouldn't be judging any kind of relationship by what the media presents you. Media representations of relationships are often over-dramatised or over-simplified bullshit. Not to say there isn't some truth in what they portray, but it's often not accurate.

Trust me on this, using all my relationship experience as a gay man: Gay relationships are pretty much the same as straight ones. There's just different genitals involved. We all have our own issues, we really do. Sure gay relationships often don't have to deal with the stereotypical stuff like "why didn't you put the toilet seat down" or other crap like that, but we have our own shit to deal with. It's far from perfect or better than straight relationships by any stretch of the imagination.

It's just... different. Having two guys instead of a guy and a girl is just naturally going to make a different kind of relationship and a different way of expressing affection. Doesn't mean one type of relationship is better than the other.

...well a 'breeder'.

I had no idea that there was a derogatory term for being hetero. The more you know...

We had to level the playing field somehow.

OT: Yea, as a straight dude who's housemate happened to be pretty much gay I can assure you 100 percent that your representations of gay life are pretty much in the wrong. They absolutely have the same issues as everyone else, only moreso by the fact that there are even fewer of them. Trust me, media warps all of the relationships to seem however they want you to see them. This does not translate into reality very well.

This too. The sheer lack of gay people around really is a handicap for us. When the guy you try hitting on has only a 3% chance of even potentially liking you, it's going to work out badly quite a lot of the time.

captcha: "change yourself". Strange....

 

[Mayhaps]

This too. The sheer lack of gay people around really is a handicap for us. When the guy you try hitting on has only a 3% chance of even potentially liking you, it's going to work out badly quite a lot of the time.

captcha: "change yourself". Strange....

We were always told 2 in every class were likely to feel attraction to the same sex. That's 10~%

 

[ReservoirAngel]

This too. The sheer lack of gay people around really is a handicap for us. When the guy you try hitting on has only a 3% chance of even potentially liking you, it's going to work out badly quite a lot of the time.

captcha: "change yourself". Strange....

We were always told 2 in every class were likely to feel attraction to the same sex. That's 10~%

Really? Huh... I'd always been told it was about 3% of people who turn out gay. Maybe the 10% number includes bisexuals and people who just get curious. Or maybe I've just been wrong this entire time and there's more gay people around than I thought there are.

I'd prefer to go with the 10% number actually. Makes me feel like I'm not quite as small a minority.

 

[Arkhangelsk]

Having a number of gay and bisexual friends, I can tell you that homosexual relationships are as messed up as heterosexual ones. Why would there be any difference? Taking away a gender doesn't take away the fact that you'll fight. You'll differ in opinions, some you'll defend strongly, and sometimes you'll have conflicts. There is no difference. And besides, relationships shouldn't be defined by gender. Being in a relationship is just about one thing, and that is being with someone who you love deeply who loves you back. Whether or not you both carry a disco stick between your leg shouldn't matter. If you are willing to fight for your relationship and for your love, it will work.

Trust me, the only difference between heterosexuals and homosexuals is how and what they bump their lower regions together.

 

[Your once and future Fanboy]

I think I can explain why you have this opinion of gay relationships.
In most media, homosexuality and gay people where either potrayed as extremly sexually active with no emotional conection to their partner or as really tight and loving couples (this mostly right after tv started acknowledging us as people and not something of the devil).
But with the loving gay couples there where always a subtext because of a lack of knowledge or acceptence. The subtext where often that (especially with gay men) they where not attrackted to eachother but they fell in love for other reasons. so then it seemed like their love was stronger since it overcame their "straight-ness".

That's at least a theory.
(BTW I'm a Bi man)

 

[Mr Somewhere]

I certainly hope you're joking. Gay men are men, as much as any other man. Gay men can have relationship problems, heterosexual men can have relationship problems. Gay men aren't some idealised angel descended from trashy romance novel.

 

[zehydra]

lulz, methinks OP has read a bit too much yaoi.

 

[SeeIn2D]

I think that any relationship heterosexual or homosexual between any combinations of genders can be as loving as any other relationship. I think it's pretty foolish to think that if you're gay you will basically be guaranteed an amazing relationship. I know several gay people both men and women who have had 'meh' relationships that didn't work or last.

 

[SextusMaximus]

You sound like a 17 year old girl to me, no offence, but as I read your post all I'm thinking of is a teenage girl crying "forever alone!" on her Facebook status.

That's pretty condescending, seems a little unfair, don't you think?

 

[SEXTON HALE]

Well I have always wondered what it would be like to be a gay woman so maybe we could work out some kind of body swap deal !
How about it?I would be more than happy to help!

 

[I-Protest-I]

This is what we in the gay community call a fag hag! Congratulations on romanticising to the point of absurdity! Here's a biscuit!

 

[Stu35]

but it seems to me like gay man, and gay male relationships are always so strong, and so loving. Every time you see them in movies and games they always seem so true, and so much more real thin the overplayed hetro relationships. They seem to have more of a connection, and a closeness.

No more so than any heterosexual relationship.

Gay men are people, which means some of them will have strong, loving, lifelong relationships, and others will not. Same as the rest of us.

I'm lazy, so I've not checked this, but as I recall, Male-Male civil partnerships in the UK have roughly the same rate of divorce as heterosexual marriages (I believe the rate of female-female divorce was similar as well) - If someone wants to google that ************ for me, then go ahead and correct me.

 

[zxvcasdfqwerzxcv]

All relationships, whether hetero- or homosexual or CONTEXTUAL!
It is about the people involved, it doesn't matter what their orientation is.
If you genuinely believe that male homosexual relationships are juster better than all others, and you are basing this on purely second-hand experience (representation in fiction and in the media) then I'm afraid you are romanticising to the point of absurdity. I would take a step back and really evaluate the situation; not to offend, but it strikes me that you are lacking in emotional maturity.

I think you need to experience these things more. Go out and meet male gay couples. REAL gay couples. See that they are just as brilliant, troubled, passionate, loving, bitter, jealous and resentful as any other couple in the world.

 

[Johnny Reb]

Here's my experience: I've only every had 2 boyfriend, The first one was a flop because the man was genuinely ashamed of who he was. He was embarrassed to be seen in public with me so I ended it. The second was a different matter, I thought he was "the one". I gave my virginity to this guy, I thought I was in love foreve. Them one day a friend of mine sent me a picture he took of my boyfriend kissing another man. I was betrayed.

So to make a long story short, same-sex relationships can be just as messed up as hetero relationships.

 

[Lunar Templar]

my own misgivings (i think is the word i want) about my gender aside.

love has nothing to do with being gay or straight, near as i can tell, its more to do with luck then anything else

 

[Macgyvercas]

Snip

Some of my best friends are gay, and let me tell you something...they wade through the same shit that everyone else does. EVERY relationship (gay, straight, whatever) is going to have roadblocks and pitfalls. Please don't get the idea that gay relationships are somehow "easier" or "more loving" than straight ones. No matter what the gender of the participants, the relationship can be good as gold or an abusive hell. The trick is that the good relationships don't let the shit drag them down.