If I Were _____ I Would _____

[fulano]

If I were zoophiliac I would fuck a goat.

Okay, that was in poor taste.

 

[Ghadente]

if i were you, i would wish to be me

 

[RanD00M]

If i were a woman i would work Naked.
And Lan naked this weekend.

 

[Asciotes]

If I were the Doctor I would unlock every door in a neighbourhood with my sonic screwdriver, just to screw with them

 

[RanD00M]

If i was naked i would thrust my hips in the faces of old ladies

(Stolen but from a very funny man)

Stolen from Yahtzee.That is frowned upon.

 

[IxionIndustries]

If I were a monkey I would throw shit at people's faces.

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

If I were at the bottom of the sea I would get eaten by the worms/and weird fishes.
Cookie for who ever gets the reference.

 

[magnuslion]

If I were President, the world would swiftly end in a nuclear holocaust because I do not take crap of people. ((Oh yeah, korea? well our missles allready freaking work!!))

 

[Sh0ckFyre]

If I were Solid Snake, I would retire from FOXHOUND, and become a porn star.

 

[Soxafloppin]

if u where a ninja i would have totally ninja'd all you to your answers.

 

[M0rp43vs]

If I was a Zombie, I'd go YABBA MY ICING...then eat someone's brain

If I had a more creative answer i would post it here

 

[Timotei]

If I were Drunk I'd kiss you.

No thank you.

If I were Ann Coulter I would SHUT THE FUCK UP!

 

[Di22y]

Should be in Games!!

If I were straigh I would shagwomen.

 

[feversk]

If I were obese I would have a lot of health problems.

If I were obese I would have a lot of health Points.
Corrected

Best correction ever.

 

[The Lost Big Boss]

If I were an asshole I would say you lost the game.

 

[Roamin11]

if i were a rich man i would sing "YADA DADA DAADA DADA DUM!!"

Quote from fiddler on the Roof..... That is MADE OF WIN

 

[zexofness]

If i were Green i would die, Bwah ah ha ha ha sorry ready this and had to, it made me smile . . . . . . . . . . DONT HATE ME

 

[Aqualung]

If I were DR. TRAN I would give out FREE DICKINGS!

Props for recognizing it ^

 

[QuirkyTambourine]

If I were a victim of a zombie outbreak I would become a zombie hunter

The outbreak is inevitable, and for those who haven't read the official guide, zombie hunter is the highest form of post-apocalyptic z-day survivor.