if you were a villian?

[Chicago Ted]

Actually forget what I just posted.

Step 1: Create a Zombie Virus

Step 2: Unleash that virus upon and unsuspecting world

Step 3: ????

Step 4: Profit

IT'S PERFECT!

 

[Chicago Ted]

*Snip*

Oh well, I guess I'll just build Skynet or something then.

Sorry, but your too late for that one my friend. It's just called Apple.

Edit:

Wow, shame on me for triple posting there, sorry.

 

[The_ModeRazor]

Step 1: Write strange stuff on a blackboard in my nonexistent basement.
Step 2: Write more stuff on the blackboard.
Step 3: Write so much stuff on the blackboard that it reaches critical mass and a huge lazor comes down from the sky and shoots into the core of the Earth.
Fine.

 

[Tairan]

I would remove the salt out of seawater...yeah take that humans.

um what would that do apart from cuting people out of salt... thats actuly a nice deed u stop people from eating salt and it makes the sea drinkable.

 

[Sir Ollie]

I would remove the salt out of seawater...yeah take that humans.

um what would that do apart from cuting people out of salt... thats actuly a nice deed u stop people from eating salt and it makes the sea drinkable.

Well yeah but some fish will die so its balance.

 

[afaceforradio]

If I was a villain I'd kidnap every general manager and make the wrestle to the death in a ring surrounded by shirtless men. And chickens. Just like in Fable. FOR ALL ETERNITY.

Moohaahaa.

 

[Heytred]

*Snip*

Oh well, I guess I'll just build Skynet or something then.

Sorry, but your too late for that one my friend. It's just called Apple.

Aww, come on are you telling me someone else stole that idea from me too?

Alright, how about I release vast amounts of pollutants into the air over time. As these pollutants build up, not only would respiratory diseases increase but they would in fact trap solar radiation, like a greenhouse, thereby changing our weather patterns, causing entire ecologies to undergo catastrophic changes and inevitably bring about devastating wars, famine, plagues and death...not to mention some truly kick ass weather events. After mankind have torn itself to pieces fighting over dwindling food and water resources I will rise as a 'saviour' and lead mankind into a new golden age. I think this one could really work.

 

[Doom_bringer58]

I would hook up mind control devices on all the politicians and make them do my bidding!

 

[Heytred]

I would remove the salt out of seawater...yeah take that humans.

um what would that do apart from cuting people out of salt... thats actuly a nice deed u stop people from eating salt and it makes the sea drinkable.

Actually, this is a really EEVVIIILLL idea, it would probably cause another ice age.

 

[FalloutJack]

What do you mean 'if' I were a villain? That's like saying "If Tim Burton was just a little bit creepy". Anyway...onto the evil plan!

Well, let's see... Since I have an Enclave avatar, let's go with that. I could hatch a dozen schemes easily, but there we are.

{1} Build powersuits. The technology's out there. Or current abilities with machinery could already surpass what is needed to design, build, and mass produce these.

{2} Recruit scientists and technicians from around the world...in powersuits. Part of the point of the Enclave is to be anonymous and united in the form of the suit. Nobody knows who everybody is and we all work towards a common goal.

{3} Let no militant idiot or politician take control. I cannot stress enough the wisdom of having someone clever in charge. Since it's my scheme, the people I just mentioned must work under me, or be given nothing more harmful than safety scissors.

{4} The financial support originally comes from the backing of a government, but alternate means of siphoning funds must be located as soon as there is enough personnel to be considered an organization.

{5} Build deep underground bases that are much harder to locate and break into than whatever establishment I've been hold up in thus far.

{6} Begin recording all secret and illegal activities performed by those in power worldwide. Use leverage on them to gain further financial backing and influence. Convince them that it is best for the world that the Enclave should be able to branch out...quietly.

{7} By this time, recruiting has already moved beyond just the specialists and the experts and has moved on to people with combat ability. Nobody knows who anyone is, except for me, so anyone who tells can be eliminated. The powersuits should be augmented for this AND Replicants posing as people in powersuits should be among the regulars to keep them in line.

{8} Now with numbers, technology, brilliant minds, armored suits capable of busting through walls, it is time to have a little fun with the world. Create a long list of new weapons, experiments, new inventions, and start testing it on the world at large.

{9} Observe...and laugh.

{10} And then, conquer the world.

 

[Azraellod]

first, i will build an enormous croquet mallet. then i will build a croquet hoop the size of mars and threaten to hit the earth into the sun unless they give me a mountain of gold.

/obscure reference

i'm not telling you my evil plan. i might want to do it someday, and i'm not giving anyone a chance to stop it.

besides, its only work in progress right now anyway.

 

[afaceforradio]

i'm not telling you my evil plan. i might want to do it someday, and i'm not giving anyone a chance to stop it.

Good idea. Because you just know that if you say it James Bond will come in here and quip us all to death.

 

[FluffX]

Hmmm, just copy Watchmen....Only, instead of uniting the world, ENSLAVE THEM ALL ON OFF WORLD WORK PLANETS!!!!

Ahem, sorry.

Wait, as oposed to... On world work planets? [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment]

 

[Chicago Ted]

*Snip*

Oh well, I guess I'll just build Skynet or something then.

Sorry, but your too late for that one my friend. It's just called Apple.

Aww, come on are you telling me someone else stole that idea from me too?

Alright, how about I release vast amounts of pollutants into the air over time. As these pollutants build up, not only would respiratory diseases increase but they would in fact trap solar radiation, like a greenhouse, thereby changing our weather patterns, causing entire ecologies to undergo catastrophic changes and inevitably bring about devastating wars, famine, plagues and death...not to mention some truly kick ass weather events. After mankind have torn itself to pieces fighting over dwindling food and water resources I will rise as a 'saviour' and lead mankind into a new golden age. I think this one could really work.

Sorry to ruin your plan yet again, but Al Gore is currently working on that one. I have to tell you that most evil plans are already being worked on by other people. Please go into the waiting area with other villains who are trying to come up with plans so we can move this along, ok?

NEXT!

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

Give candy to many little children, encouraging childhood obesity.
OT: I would blackmail politicians until they give me what i want. I will then use this to conquer a small country. Then a continent. Then the world.

 

[Recla]

I would take complete control over the Internet. Nothing goes in or out unless I deem it so.

With the power of Wikipedia.. I would rewrite history creating a new WikiReality.
Facebook? You will find you have no friends..not even that guy from MySpace.
World of Warcraft? You will be forced to farm for gold... slaves of the new Empire.
Hulu? Only the shows that I want kept on will be shown, thus keeping their rating high enough to have another season. There is no American Idol or Survivor in the new Empire... but surprisingly Venture Brothers becomes an hourlong show, and Robot Chicken gets another 15 minutes.

 

[Heytred]

Stuff

Sorry to ruin your plan yet again, but Al Gore is currently working on that one. I have to tell you that most evil plans are already being worked on by other people. Please go into the waiting area with other villains who are trying to come up with plans so we can move this along, ok?

NEXT!

Lets see then, lets run down the list.
-Giant robots, no the Japanese are working on that.
-Enforced Labor camps, Chinese have that covered.
-Bombing innocents...pretty global.
-Military coup, too central America.
-Encouraging mistrust and hatred toward those that are different, nope, every religion including atheism has done that.
-Stealing the planets resources...Multinational Corporations.
-Corrupting Government officials, who hasn't done this.

WAIT...I have it. So, imagine, hordes of trained Penguins, armed to the teeth or beak, riding bears, while overhead soars my genetically altered Flying Shark Air Force. The seas would be roamed by my suicide bombing Dolphin Death Squads. Finally, Ninja/Spec Ops bunny-rabbits would be used for discrete interdiction's and political assassinations. It's foolproof and brilliant rolled up into a big awesome package. Muuuahhhhhahaha, MMMuuahahahaaha, MMMMUUAAHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! KNEEL BEFORE YOUR NEW OVERLORD YOU WRETCHED MINIONS. I, HEYTRED, WILL HAVE YOUR IMMEDIATE OBEDIENCE OR SUFFER MY WRATH.

 

[Azraellod]

i'm not telling you my evil plan. i might want to do it someday, and i'm not giving anyone a chance to stop it.

Good idea. Because you just know that if you say it James Bond will come in here and quip us all to death.

oh, that would be fun to deal with. but i'm trying to execute an evil plan, so i will take that seriously, and then i can mess around afterwards.

maybe i can do another one later on, and reveal that one, but lie about some of the details. then i can have fun with all the secret agents i catch during the process of it.

 

[Socius]

I would bind humans beneth my will! controll the entire world from the shaddows unlishing the zombification virus on random cities... mexico, Los Angeles, Stockholm, Paris etc and the nrule both the zombies and the humans and make the fight eachother while I hold th ecapital of antizombie warmachines and so become the rich emperor of darknes! mwahahahaha... and when it all seem lost... I will give the humans the warmachines, powerarmor, medicines and guns they need, for free! then they will win against the undead bot over 75% of all men will be dead and the surviving will all praise me for giving them guns unknowing I schemed the entire sh*t! so as a closer up id be imortal and use all the money to build vaults across the world! then finance a war amongst the surviving humans, all sivilians will hide in my vaults wicth won't be cheap and all the military forces will use my weapons, and when the civilists are safe I will nuke the enire planet and then realease more zombies and millions of mutatet plants and creatures imune to radiation into the world creating a whole new world! after 150-200 years the remaining humans will be realesed from the vaults and there will be a paradise where I shall be GOD! mwahahahahahaha

 

[wewontdie11]

I would construct a ray gun that when shot at somebody, it made them itchy on that one little spot of their back where you can't reach it.

Ahh but sir i can scratch every part of my back, even those parts deemed unscratchable by some, i am; as you would say, good general reach man! could be a villain...maybe not.

Then you shall be my nemesis!

I think we should write a comic.